What's More Evil, Prisoners or Illegal Immigrants

I'm sure you've all heard about the great immigration debate currently raging around the country and in Washington; and if you haven't then you certainly should be thrown out of the country for being ignorant, since it is the duty of every American to be educated about the issues facing us all. In any event, some of you may remember one of my more controversial posts where I argued we should kill all the big animals. Personally, I don't find anything controversial about it at all, and to me it is the fear of bringing controversy down upon oneself that keeps a person week; but, nonetheless, I got a lot of comments and outrage about the suggestion we kill the animals, since they are hurting the environment by being useless and using up resources. That is neither here nor there, because if you remember that post, you probably remember the post where I said we should use illegal immigrants to perform the duties the big animals used to be responsible for until they were killed, things, according to the brilliant scientists that read the post, necessary for our own survival, like maintain the food chain.

Well, I thought that was a great idea, until I read this, particularly this quote: "Let the prisoners pick the fruits." Now, I've changed my mind -- instead of supporting illegal immigration to prevent environmental destruction, we should put our prisoners to work eating grass and worms and hard to reach leaves in especially tall trees.

Women Are Strippers At Heart

I was reading this LA Times article (you'll need to register, but it's free and worth it) about a stripper who turned to Christ and immediately found my mind drifting into sinful territory, which is why I have a feeling her whole story is a ruse invented by the Devil to tempt lustful men into his arms. Hers certainly is a sweet story -- any ex-stripper and porn star who decides to devote her life to Jesus and bring other strippers to Christ is a hero in my book. But she and her message are as fake as a breast implant. Just look at her website:

"JC's GIRLSGIRLSGIRLS is a Biblically based Christian ministry that seeks to share God's message of hope and forgiveness by reaching out in a non-judgmental way to those who are in the sex industry. We pattern our ministry after the very ministry of Jesus by actually going to the people who need him. Our desire is for people to see that Christianity is anything but boring and restrictive. In Christ, we are free to experience adventure, pleasure, forgiveness, hope, and peace".

Reach out in a "non-judgmental" way? That is a dangerous twisting of Christianity, for it is the job of good Christians to let the damned know they are damned and demand they come to Christ lest they experience the wrath of society and God. And people are not free to experience adventure and pleasure -- that is a message for homosexuals and strippers. It's because of false messages like the one promoted by JC's Girls that the Bible says:

"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."

1 Corinthians 14:34/35.

"But I suffer not a woman to teach, not to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing..."

1 Timothy 2.

For women that teach, that try to lead people to Christ by their own preaching will inevitably do more harm than good and lead their followers straight into the arms of Satan. This is because women are strippers at heart. This is why men must be in charge of everything but childbirth, cooking, and cleaning. Anything else is much too dangerous for society and will certainly turn it into a place where young girls prostitute themselves from the age of five and men spend their days and nights watching pornography and sleeping with whores.

This is not to say I don't care about the scourge of strippers. But there must be another way to bring them to Christ. Muslims force their women to marry all the time. Well, there is no reason we shouldn't be able to do that in America, only that we would ensure these immoral women are married to good, God-fearing men able to handle the wiley ways of a stripper and avoid succumbing to temptations of the flesh. Who better, then, than unmarried church elders? Church elders would know how to be stern with these lost souls and make sure their journey to Christ is permanent. And church elders, their dedication to Christ unquestioned, deserve the most beautiful wives, the envy of their congregation. Of course this is just one idea, and I would be interested to hear more. With the end times so close at hand, it is important that we Christians do everything in our power to make this earth a better place, lest we too are left behind to face the wrath of God.

The War, the War, the War on Christians

I've been called a liar, a bigot, a satirist, and many other horrible names -- all because I'm a proud Christian dedicated to spreading the word of God. But that is not the worst of it, for I can take the insults. What I cannot endure, however, is my beautiful faith being stripped from this country, slowly criminalized by activist judges and liberal politicians. Children unable to sing hymns or read the Bible in school, unable to have Christmas parties; all of us who believe Jesus is our Lord and Savior having to whisper his name like it is a dirty word; and, oh, the worst of it: good Christian politicians like Tom Delay being slandered by the liberal media, accusing him of corruption as though their own corruption by Satan means nothing. So Christian soldiers we must be vigilant and aware of what secularists are doing to our faith. We must take heart that politicians that truly represent us, politicians like Tom Delay, are good Christians and could NEVER do the things they are accused of. Lobbying scandal? Are you kidding? As we all know, not only does our faith keep us true to the Lord, thereby preventing corruption to ever enter our minds, but the corporations and companies that are supposedly doing the corrupting are also innocent, for everyone knows the invisible hand that drives capitalism is the hand of God, thus keeping corporations and their leaders true and good. And we ARE being vigilant. But we must remain so until it is understood by ever man, woman, and child in this country and the rest of the world that we are a Christian nation.

Who Shall Bear The Mark of The Beast?

"And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six." (Revelation 13:16-18)

Who shall bear The Mark of The Beast?
Who shall bear The Mark of The Beast?
Let it be known unto all those who read,
These words of wisdom,
You must take heed!
Take heed! Take Heed!
You must take heed!
Or else you will bear,
The Mark of The Beast!

Who shall bear The Mark of The Beast?
What of the feminists?
Women’s souls they do seek,
The practice of witchcraft - they gladly do preach,
Lesbian witchcraft - in our towns and our streets!
They will certainly bear,
The Mark of The Beast!

The Mark of The Beast!
The Mark of The Beast!
Who shall Bear The Mark of The Beast?

Who shall bear The Mark of The Beast?
Let us consider the hippies,
They worship bushes and trees,
Society’s outcasts,
On babies, they feast!
They feast on our babies,
On babies, they feast!
They will certainly bear,
The Mark of The Beast!

The Mark of The Beast!
The Mark of The Beast!
Who shall Bear The Mark of The Beast?

Who shall bear The Mark of The Beast?
Left-Handed Children!
The Devil they seek!
They refuse to pray,
They wet their beds when they sleep!
A butt-whipping and a prayer,
These troubled children need,
Or they will certainly bear,
The Mark of The Beast!

The Mark of The Beast!
The Mark of The Beast!
Who shall Bear The Mark of The Beast?

Who shall bear The Mark of The Beast?
Those who inhabit the science labs,
Devilish lies they do teach!
Using babies for research,
In life, they have no belief,
Eternal hellfire awaits them,
Infinite terror without peace,
Because they will bear,
The Mark of The Beast!

The Mark of The Beast!
The Mark of The Beast!
Who shall Bear The Mark of The Beast?

Woe unto those with The Mark of The Beast,
Their fate will be sealed,
There is no release!
Eternal torment awaits them,
They will never know peace,
Those who receive The Mark of The Beast!

The Mark of The Beast!
The Mark of The Beast!
Who shall Bear The Mark of The Beast?

"A third angel followed them and said in a loud voice: 'If ANYONE worships the beast and his image and receives his mark on the forehead or on the hand, he, too, will drink of the wine of God's fury, which has been poured full strength into the cup of his wrath. He will be tormented with burning sulfur in the presence of the holy angels and of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment rises for ever and ever. There is no rest day or night for those who worship the beast and his image, or for anyone who receives the mark of his name. This calls for patient endurance on the part of THE SAINTS who obey God's commandments and remain faithful to Jesus'." (Rev. 14:9-12)

Who's the Better Role Model, Britney or Jessica?

I never thought I'd ever offer Britney Spears as a role model to young girls, but of late she seems to really taken heart to her role as a good Christian woman, already producing an offspring for her husband and, perhaps, pregnant with another, and thereby beginning the long road to redemption for her sins (as all good Christians know, the Bible teaches that women must redeem themselves for o.s. by making babies). And believe me, she has a lot to repent, for since the tender age of 16 she has whore-d herself for the whole world to see, including young, impressionable girls. I only hope that now these same girls are watching and learning as Britney lets her career go to waste so she can properly give thanks to God by reproducing. That is also why I am very much in support of this sculpture that has drawn so much fan fare. From the looks of it, Britney is enjoying giving birth, which exposes the lie that childbirth is painful. And the sculpture portrays Brit as sexy even though she's pregnant. Pregnant women and childbirth are rarely sexy (unless you have some weird fetish, like the one some people have for amputees, for example), but making women feel beautiful can pretty much convince them to do anything. It would not surprise me at all to learn that the Devil convinced Eve to eat the Apple by telling her it would make her hot.

Now compare Britney to Jessica Simpson, who now, it seems, wants to adopt. This is a clear example of a woman that refuses to repent for Original Sin. This is why her marriage collapsed, why her lips have started to look funny over the last six months, and why Dukes of Hazzard was a bomb at the box office. As she denies her womanhood, the public has come to recognize she is not a sex symbol at all, so she is being reduced to a plastic surgery-d monster, not unlike Joan Collins.

Spiders Are God's Gift To Parents and Children

Everyone knows most children are terrified of spiders, and those that aren't are most likely going to turn out to be horrific sinners, like murderers and rapists. That is why a harsh but effective punishment for children is to lock them in a closet with at least one spider for 15 minutes to an hour. Truly terrible children can be cast away with lots and lots of spiders, although this should be reserved for the worst offenses. I personally have been covered in spiders for repeatedly disobeying my parents and once for waking up late for church (admittedly my father was in a very bad mood on that day, but we still argue over whether I deserved such harsh treatment for such a rare occurrence), so for the liberals that read this and argue child abuse, I will tell you now you probably deserved to be covered in insects, yourselves, as children, which is why you are so blind to what it takes to raise adolescents to grow up righteous and good, as well as why you've been so easily turned into a slave of Satan. In any event, imagine my horror when I read this -- that fear of spiders can be cured with hormone therapy. Slowly but surely, it seems, the secular, Devil-worshipping cabal that appears to be in charge of our society is eroding the ability of good Christians to raise children to respect the glory of the Lord. Just as the liberal media bombards us with pornography, witchcraft, and homosexuality, thereby making it near-impossible to protect our children from filth, they are now taking away our tools to demand respect and obedience. I can only imagine what will go next, but I certainly envision a future where good Christian parents have had their tongues cut out and their hands and feet lopped off, such that there is no possible way for them to bring up their children in the loving embrace of Christ. I know, I know -- I don't have to give my children these hormone treatments; but don't you think Satan has already thought of that and is currently working with his witches to cast a spell on the powers that be such that they write into the laws the requirement that all children be vaccinated against fear of spiders? That will certainly be a sad day; I will mourn, just as I shall mourn the day there is a vaccine for AIDS (AIDS, of course, is God's punishment for deviants).

Founding Fathers Fathered a Satanic Bible; The Devil Built a Time Machine

I used to think that the Constitution was a great document, but that activist judges guided by the evil hand of Satan had usurped it. Just look at the original intent of the Founding Fathers, I thought, and it would be clear that they meant for this to be a Christian nation, where abortions would be illegal, witches burned at the stake, and homosexuals driven to the bottomless pit of society, stricken with poverty and disease worthy of the worst sinners. But now the liberal media has recently brought to my attention various quotes from people like Jefferson and Adams that make me question my assumptions about the Constitution. For given the quotes mentioned above, the Constitution is not a great document; it is document worthy of the title Satanic Bible, allowing freedom to those who oppose the will of God, to those who sleep with pigs and people of the same sex, to those who murder helpless babies in their mothers' womb. Fortunately, I am not one to be easily fooled by the Devil's trickery, and I realize his ability to manipulate people. That is why I am nearly positive that, as the war against Christianity really began to grip the nation in the last decade, the Devil went back in time and worked his magic on Adams and Jefferson, taking control of their minds to make them say such evil things. Or perhaps he had the Japanese build robots in their perfect likeness and replaced them. It might be hard to prove, but we should at the very least dig up their graves and see if we find robot parts or evidence of magic. Maybe, though, we'd all rather not know, for if it's true that Satan built a time machine, any one of us could be replaced just as Jefferson and Adams were, and that is truly a scary thought.

If Iran Can, Why Can't We

I am no friend of Islam, as anyone who reads this site knows. But I have to say that ever since I've embraced the idea that we true Christians need to work together with Muslims on our shared morality (I mean, while I don't doubt the power of Christ can and will one day eradicate all non-believers/heathens, it is obvious that, as long as the Devil controls the leaders of this country, we will not have the will to do what is necessary to this end and instead will waste money and blood on endless war), I've come to respect the passion and enthusiasm Muslims show for stamping out the work of the Devil. Just look at this article and imagine the utopia that would exist in America if we could jail professors and students that spread the message of Satan, spewing forth vile, evil thoughts that support evolution, feminism, homosexuality, and journalism. Rather than indoctrination to secularism, students would begin and end each day with readings from the Bible and hymns. No more "literature," except for truly brilliant works like the Left Behind series; no more history except for history of the Bible and influence of the Devil on the world; no more political science, but that which will teach students to take back America from the hands of witches and homosexuals. And we can bring students and faculty together by holding mass book burning rallies where we cast unChristian book into the glorious flames of righteousness. And if we were truly lucky, we would all be able to witness the punishment of said students and teachers and behold as the pain drives away the evil spirits. Of course the rampant partying and pre-marital sex would be banned on campuses, although the Bible study and hymn-singing will be much better than drinking and sex, as the spirit of Jesus fills the hearts of participants. But alas, while Iran, a known sponsor of terrorists, cleanses its society, we here in the best country on earth are treated like Satan's urinal. Luckily, I see some signs of improvement. Just read this...

Attack of the Clones!

Recently the site has gotten a huge number of hits (relatively speaking), and I was interested to see where they were all coming from. After a little research, I was horrified to discover various communities of deviants, of children, of lonely women dissatisfied with their bodies and lack of children. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they've discovered this site, thus giving me a better chance of reaching them with the words of the Bible; however, my work, I think, is going to be harder than imagined, for these communities are tight in their chains to Satan and provide such reinforcement for beliefs implanted by the Devil. They've already posted many comments attacking me and the word of God. And also notice, if you go to their forums and blogs, that some of them don't even think I am being serious. This just goes to show how brain washed many have become at the hands of the liberal media and Satan. So those of you not a part of these communities that now read this post please pray for their members. In my posts from this point forward, I will talk to them the way we talk to deaf people, to the retarded, to the non-English speaking. Oh, and this just goes to show, my fellow followers of Christ, that we really do need to invest in Christian science labs to invent all manner of devices to take back America from the Devil. I believe in an earlier post I talked about brain implant devices that disallowed thinking unChristian thoughts. That would be perfect for people like these.

Prepare for the End Times with Robots and Clones

As everyone who reads this site knows by now, the end times are coming, and it will be a horrific time for the Christians left behind, as the world undergoes a series of natural disasters and is eventually taken over by the antichrist, who will hunt down the remaining Christians, killing them, preventing them from working or trading, such that they starve. That is why we've always advocated preparing, investing in technology and infrastructure that we Christians can use to defend ourselves and scrape out a living until Jesus comes and saves us at the Glorious Appearing. One idea is the Jesus Loves Everything Superstore -- an underground network of Wal-Mart-like superstores that serves Christians so they can buy the necessities of life so cruelly taken away by the antichrist. Another is the Jesus Loves Everything R&D department, where we use technology developed by secular scientists to invent our own devices with which we can fight evil when the end times come. To this end, I've recently come across some new technology we must further develop so that we may rise up against Satan: robots that we can control with our minds. That's right, scientists are currently working on prosthetics that amputees can manipulate with brain waves. There is no reason, then, that we couldn't use this technology and attach it to gigantic robots that will guard our homes and churches, that can walk us to our schools and to stores. We could even build an army of robots and do battle with the antichrist at his headquarters, the UN. Some of you might be wondering why we need a mind control device for the robots, since, in theory, the robots could just fight on their own, absent any Christian brain waves. Well, the thing is that a) it might be awhile before the technology for robots that think for themselves will be available, and the end times could come any day now and b) anyone who's watched the matrix knows robots CANNOT be trusted.

It's also true that scientists have recently been working on fake muscles that are 100 times stronger than human muscles. This could be developed into an exo-skeleton to protect us Christians in case antichrist armies ever break through our robot defense. Just imagine an army of bionic-Christians!

One last idea (for now, of course): while it is certain that there will be millions of Christians left behind for the end times, we cannot be sure that these good people will have enough leaders among them to properly defend against the antichrist, despite all the technology we've (hopefully) developed over the years. That is why I also propose we create Christian labs to work on cloning technology. I know people are inevitably going to call me a hypocrite, since I've often preached against cloning and technology, generally; but really, I'm not, for technology -- even cloning -- is good in the hands of a true Christian. Anyway, cloning -- yes, we need to work on cloning technology and, as soon as it's perfected, begin the process of cloning our great Christian leaders so they can lead those of us left behind. The problem, however, with this is that the end times may come before the clones reach maturity, which is why we need to invent some acceleration technology, not unlike that found in the horrible but insightful Sylvester Stallone movie, Judge Dredd. That way we can keep the DNA of people like Dr. Dobson and Pat Robertson and grow them as needed.

Mothers Who Sin Have Deformed Babies

I recently found this striking example of the liberal media at work. To the untrained eye or to the eye of a Devil sympathizer, the article may seem rather innocuous. After all, what's so bad about reporting on a study regarding deformed babies born to Arab-American mothers, especially one that postulates the deformities are due to stress suffered because of anti-Muslim feeling after 9/11? Well I'll tell you: this reporting is meant to disguise the true reasons Muslim women have deformed children: God is punishing them for refusing to accept His son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The liberal media excels at such tricks, attempting to disguise the wrath of God so that they may help the Devil in his leading of America down a path of eternal hellfire. In fact, in almost all instances of the media touting some study about the horrors of some politically correct cause of theirs, you can be sure that the nature of the people they are writing about is one of abject sin and evil. Rather than read with horror at the plight of these poor people, we should rejoice at the fact that God has appeared to make sinners suffer, for He is truly a wondrous and Almighty being. I would also like to point out that these studies are coming out more and more frequently which is proof the end times are quickly approaching. For one did not used to read so many "awful" studies; it is a recent phenomenon, reflecting God's anger with the Devil's penetration of humanity. So don't be surprised to one day read about Muslims and homosexuals spontaneously combusting or contracting some horrible new disease.

Big Love, Big Mess

So I just finished watching Big Love, the new HBO show about polygamists in Utah. It's mildly entertaining, I must admit; however, this is not to say it's good, for while it's blessed with interesting story lines and dialogue, it's plagued by lies, it's overcome by pornography and sin. The show, you see, twists the truth about polygamy, attempting to portray the husband as this loving family man, attempting to do right by God, when in fact we know in real life this is not at all true, since polygamists, like homosexuals, worship Satan; so if the show were at all interested in the truth, it would show the man and his family sacrificing Christian babies and participating in orgies. And it is because of these lies that I fully expect the secularists and their left wing media to start promoting a polygamist agenda, starting with legalizing polygamy. Also, I was disappointing to find that the characters did not wear the special underwear that they never take off that Mormons are rumored to favor. About the only realistic thing about the show, I think, is the fact that they family is always fornicating, succumbing to the evil desires of the flesh. I was, however, pleased with Chloe Sevigny's performance. For the longest time I loved her as an actress because of her role in KIDS. It was very realistic, exposing the truth about premarital sex, about what happens to whores -- they get AIDS. But then she did Brown Bunny, which was a very heinous movie and should be burned. Her portrayal of one of the wives in Big Love, though, is almost enough to bring her back from the abyss, for it is true to the nature of women, who connive, who are selfish, and bad unless kept in check by their men.

Muslims May Be Evil, But They're Also Good

I know Islam is a corruption of faith and God, and when the end times come Muslims the world over will join the ranks of Satan and attempt to enslave the Christians that were not raptured up; and I know these Muslims will suffer an eternity of hellfire for their evils; and based on what I know, I would like nothing more than a crusading army to spread the true word of God; however, as the Iraq war has shown, secularists here in God's country use the various and powerful tools at their disposal -- witchcraft, drugs, feminism, homosexuality, polygamy, bestiality, abortion and rock music -- to thwart the most powerful army on earth, limiting its effectiveness against the enemy and refusing to use it as a tool to achieve the will of God and bring peace to the entire Middle East by spreading Christianity with bombs. And this, while being a great disappointment to me and all true Christians, is the reality that I've accepted. Since we have to live with Islam and Islam has to live with Christianity, I think it is incumbent upon us to find a way to peacefully co-exist, rather than waste the time, money, and effort attacking one another. One place to start is to examine our similarities. To this end, I am happy to report that Islam also hates homosexuality. In fact, one of the most respected Islamic leaders, Grand Ayatollah Al ali-Sistani, recently issued a fatwa saying they should be killed in the most severe way. And luckily, the US government and Iran have been diligent in keeping gays out of the UN. We can also look to Islam for the proper role of women in society. Recognizing the true nature of women as corrupters of men and whores, Islam demands women cover themselves, lest they be stoned. And in some countries, women are not allowed to drive, even golf carts. And, I think, a lot can be learned from Sharia law. Husbands, for example, can beat their wives for disobedience. Amputating alternate limbs and crucifixion are blessed as good punishments. And these are just starting points. In time, if enough trust can be built between the two religions, perhaps we can work together to rid the earth of corrupting influences. And perhaps by working so closely, we can convince Muslims that the only path to salvation is through the Bible, through the Lord Jesus Christ, just as spreading capitalism to places like China has improved their human rights record and taught them the joys of democracy. I know, it seems far fetched. But we have to start somewhere.