Misshapen Women: Out of the Kitchen, Into the Fire

"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." 1 Corinthians 14:34/35.

"But I suffer not a woman to teach, not to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing..." 1 Timothy 2.

"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array." 1 Timothy 2.

The above are some of my favorite quotes of the Bible, testimony to the wisdom and infallibility of the Lord our God; for in recent times, as women have been tempted to betray their Christian faith, demanding equality with men, refusing to bare their husbands children, speaking when not spoken to, and whorifying themselves with whorish outfits, society has collapsed into a bastion of filth and unholiness. God, though, is having yet another laugh. Where once all women (except, of course, those possessed by the Devil) had bodies of perfection, blessed with the hourglass figure to attract good husbands, the women of today are developing into a variety of misshapes -- rectangles, spoons, inverted triangles. And the trend is only getting worse, such that I am quite sure we will see women in the form of shapeless blobs, not unlike jellyfish in the near future. Of course, women have not taken this lying down. With fashion industry (which is run by homosexuals in league with the Devil) encouragement and glorification of the hourglass figure of yesteryear, women starve themselves to death or stick their fingers down their throats to vomit out excess calories; and even if they are able to achieve beauty using such extreme methods, God will not let them enjoy it; they will always see themselves as fat and disfigured. Some women use science and medicine to attempt to become beautiful. But just look at the liberal, man-hating Maureen Dowd. The bile spewing forth from her mouth has been like acid to her face. No matter how much she tries to cover her ugliness with plastic surgery, she looks plastic and less and less like a human. Or look at Congresswoman Jean Schmidt. Women should not be allowed to run for office, and God has shown his displeasure by disfiguring her to the point of hideousness. The true tragedy, though, is not the pressure and sadness women feel because they are no longer able to be beautiful; -no, it's that men, too, have been touched by the selfishness of women, forced to settle for misshapen wives, because that's all the world has to offer. Yet it's not as though the men are totally innocent of offending God. They are, after all, equally as guilty of corrupting the Bible, picking and choosing only the parts that fit their world view, rather than accepting all of it as the law and word of God. So we, too, must be punished.