Friday, April 16, 2010

God bless the Tea Party. God Bless all Tea Baggers

Dear readers,

I would just like to write a short post expressing my support for the Tea Party and all Tea Baggers. They generally seem to be good Christian folk who support old time values and smaller government. Thank You ever so much fellow Tea Baggers. I do hope that you keep up the wonderful Tea Bagging. When Tea Bagging, make sure that you are Tea Bagging for Jesus, because He is your Lord and Savior! Tea Bagging is an ever so lovely way to worship Him and express your love for Him.

When the end times are upon us, as prophesied in the Book of Revelation, there will be a great rature of Christian souls, followed by a great tribulation. Then, Jesus Christ, our lord and savior, in all His Glory, will return to earth on a White Horse, for the final battle of Armegeddon, at which, he will defeat Satan and the antichrist, the false prophet and all the legions of Darkness for all time. They will be cast into the Lake of Fire, along with all sinners who have not been saved, because they have not been faithful in their teabagging. And then, he will reign in Heaven for ever and ever, along with all the faithful teabaggers, and there will be a great celebration of the glorious triumph of good over evil, and that celebration will consist of lots and lots of teabagging for Jesus. He will sit up high upon a great throne in heaven, where He will recieve His teabagging servants one by one to come up to the throne to worship him. The teabaggers will come up to the throne and sit at his feet, where they they can worship Him and express their love for Him personnaly, and they will be closer to their Lord and Savior than thay ever dreamed possible. And there will not be any limit to the amount of tea bagging He can receive because He is the Lord, and He is all powerful and He will reign in Heaven for all eternity. Praise Be!!!

Monday, November 02, 2009

The Poorhouse Part II - The Power of Human Energy

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are currently facing an enery crisis that gets more and more urgent each year. We need to find a way to extract more energy from our currently abundent sources. While fossil fuels, wind solar, biomass, and nuclear all have their rightful place in our nation's and the world's energy portfolio, we have essentially ignored an energy source that we have in abundance everywhere we look. This source of enery is all around us. We see it whenever we walk out onto the street. We see it whenever we turn on the TV. We see it oftentimes when we drive through town. The energy source I am talking about is HUMAN Energy. Yes - Human Energy.

Human Energy - an energy source that can help provide for our energy needs. I was doing some calculations, and I realized that the human body operating at peak physical exertion can produce more than enough energy for several human energy consumers. That is to say, for every single human producer of energy, the peak energy produced by that one human can support several human consumers of energy, assuming the human energy producer is of equal size to or larger than the human energy consumers. Therefore, conservatively, if we were to sequestor one human, and put him to work in a kind of setting where he is forced to drive a machine (i.e., an electrical generator) at a production level requiring his absolute peak physical exertion, than the energy output from that machine (i.e., electrical generator) could easily supply the needs of at least two human consumers. You can hopefully see, now, where I am going with this.

If we are to successfully harness the power of human energy, than we must establish institutions were certain classes of humans are forced to produce the energy that may be consumed by the rest of us. The prisons would be a good starting point. Most prison inmates are physically fit and many are large and physically imposing specimens of humanity. Therefore, they may be easily used by the authorities to drive stationary bikes or treadmills that would, in turn, drive electrical generators that would supply power to the grid. The prisons these days are nothing more than a type of state-run spa and resort, where inamtes get free meals, and can spend their days relaxing in their cells, watching cable TV. They are even given excersize yards where they can work out and lift weights! - where is that energy going?? Nowhere! However the prison population alone would not be sufficient to supply energy for the rest of us.

The real solution lies in establishing poorhouses, as discussed in a previous post. Most of the poor are obese to begin with! Therefore, we must sequestor the poor, and other leaches of society and put them in poorhouses, where they will be forced to drive stationary bikes or treadmills or, better yet, eliptical-type machines with ALL arms and legs, and these machines would, in turn, drive electrical generators that would supply power to the grid! These poor would be supplied with bowls of synthetic gruel, and that would give them the energy to keep working those energy-producing treadmills! That and the fact that many of them are obese to begin with would mean they have plenty of fat to burn off in driving those treadmills. These people will be worked on the treadmills to the point of collapse from exhaustion and driven on the treadmills by whippings. I'm thinking they will be worked on the treadmills a minimum of 16 hours a day. And remember, as discussed in the previous posting on The Poorhouse, they will not be allowed to die! For they will be fed sufficient gruel to keep them running those treadmills up to their maximum capacity! And thus, They will also FINALLY be put to useful work supplying badly needed energy for the rest of society! For more details on the philosphy behind establishing the poorhouses, in general, there is an earlier post on the subject. In any event, we can easily start to address our current energy crises by finally harnessing the power of HUMAN ENERGY!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Science is Evil, Part III

There are a lot of new gadgets and inventions coming out these days. We seem to be living in times (I believe, of course, the End Times) when scientists and engineers with too much time on their hands and too much of the Devil’s trickery in their hearts seem obsessed with churching out countless new gizmos that are, at best, useless and oftentimes downright evil. Take these so-called “hybrid cars”: I thoroughly resent the fact that these scheming scientists would want me to give up my Ford Expedition SUV and cram my ample frame into some absurd, puttering “green” midget-mobile that runs on “batteries” and “good intentions”. When I drive, I want my vehicle to burn petroleum and lots of it!!! I make no bones about the fact that The Lord gave us this earth and all of its minerals and resources to use for our own purposes, chief among these, a reliable form of comfortable, stylish transportation! Praise Be!!!

Now, I’m getting a bit off track here. I think most if not all of the inventions coming out these days are just ridiculous and offensive. Take this so-called “ShamWow”: A cloth that soaks up ALL stains and spills?? How offensive! Any cloth that can soak up all stains and spills is certainly inspired by the Devil and can certainly suck up lost souls! Cleaning should be a painful, rigorous process characterized by bending over and scrubbing hard with a scrub brush, until everything is spic-n-span! I also resent vacuum cleaners! And I particularly resent these new-fangled Dyson-model bagless vacuum cleaners with their so-called “cyclonic” technology. These would also certainly suck up lost souls, as surely as the Devil’s lies and trickery spews forth from the scientists who invented them. I also don’t like them because I suspect they may have a connection to magic spells and witchcraft – if ordinary witches can fly around on brooms, than surely, the most demonic and powerful witches would fly around on vacuum cleaners!

I just feel that we all should all be wary of the so very many these many things that are coming out these days with the promise of making our lives more “convenient,” when in reality such things may likely only have the effect of distancing our immortal souls from the Lord, and putting our immortal souls on the primary road toward eternal hellfire. Now, for the hellfire-bound spirits, I’m sure this is probably not of a concern, but for those of us who are not hellfire-bound, we need to always be on the alert for things like the ShamWow, which seem “a bit too good to be true”. For such things, which seem to be great because they make cleaning “so very easy”, are not great at all, because they could capture our souls for all eternally. THERFORE, as we make our way through life, we must always be wary of the “ShamWows” of this world, and instead, look to the not-so-glamorous, yet good-old-fashioned and reliable scrub brush!!!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Fat Children are a Sign of the End Times

There are too many fat children these days. I was watching Jerry Springer the other day, and there was an episode about fat children, and the children were huge! The parents gave these kids anything and everything they wanted to eat. One large 5-year-old child was gorging himself on a bucket of fried chicken. It was disgusting – the grease was covering his chubby face. Now, I am not being the least bit judgmental. I, myself, enjoy the occasional fried chicken bucket, but I am an adult! I take all of these fat children as a sure sign that the end times are most definitely upon us!

All over the world children are getting fatter and fatter. A Nathaniel posted previously, “obesity, in general, is a sure sign of the Devil's mastery of our basest desires. Appealing to these, he has reached to the glutton in all of us, sucking the soul away of the Christ-less just as they suck on milkshakes and fries”.

With children it’s even more complicated. Parents these days chose to indulge their children’s’ desires for fatty and sugary foods more than ever. So obesity among children is not just an issue of the child’s overindulgence and weak moral character. It’s also a symptom of lax parental authority, exacerbated by the mass media and the abundance of fast food restaurants. Parents need to better control their children’s diet. The proper children’s diet should consist only of wholesome foods like fresh fruits and vegetables, plenty of whole grains, and healthy protein-rich foods like chicken and fresh fish! Red meat should be eaten in lesser quantities, and absolutely no fast foods! No candy and no soft-drinks! No ice-cream because it is too fatty! Instead desert should consist of cold bowls of non-fat iced-milk! This type of diet would all but prevent obesity in children. The children who already suffer from obesity issues should be sent to Christian-run fat camps, where weight loss would be attained through a steady diet of rigorous exercise, bible-lessons, prayer and rigorous exorcism. The exorcism is necessary because I believe that being fat is a sign of a demon-possessed spirit! The foods to be served at these fat farms will consist of cold bowls of synthetic low-calorie gruel. The gruel will be flavorless, but would provide all the key vitamins, minerals, and nutrients. It would be not unlike the gruel fed intravenously by the machines to those still plugged inside the Matrix on The Matrix movies! In fact this gives me a tremendous idea! The Christian fat camps can be completely automated, and the fat children can be put in a state of hibernation and placed into pods where the gruel is supplied intravenously to their bodies for optimal weight-loss and nourishment. The fatties would not be totally unconscious, but would be in a long-term suspended dream-like state. Therefore, some good, Christian, God-fearing scientist would be employed to write a computer program not unlike the computer program that forms the basis for the virtual world of The Matrix on The Matrix movies. However, this virtual world would be the perfect Christian world in all respects! All of the evil influences of the real world would be blotted out and the children would graduate from the fat farms knowing only what is good and Christ-like. As far as the exercise, that is a problem that still needs to be addressed because living in a pod in a constant dream-like state is certainly not good exercise! Maybe robotic arms would extend into the pods to force the fat children to periodically move their limbs while dreaming, so that the excess flab can be burned off, but that’s just one idea. In any event, there are many possibilities for how to properly deal with all the fat children that are out there!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Planet of the Apes - Good or Evil? You Decide!

But you’d better decide carefully, because an incorrect decision could mean that you are unfaithful and will spend an eternity in hell. I will not give you the answer because that would be deciding your faith in God, and one’s faith in God is the responsibility of that person alone. Do NOT take that to mean that we should not be able to impose Christianity on you! The authority to force people to behave in accordance with the tenets of the Bible is something that every moral government should have. The point is that we are not robots; we have free will. And our outward behavior does not determine the true faithfulness that resides deep down in our souls.

So, back to the topic at hand: Planet of the Apes. Not an actual planet, but a series of movies. And not the meaningless, go nowhere, imitation film from 2001, but the original groundbreaking movie series from 1967-1973, starring the great Charlton Heston – a great man of God and guns! Let us first explore these fascinating films in NO particular order. Let us start with the first film “Planet of the Apes.” At the very beginning of the first film, Charlton Heston’s character, Colonel Taylor, is on a fantastic voyage through space and time! Then something happens to the ship, and Col. Taylor and his crew crash land onto a very mysterious, yet familiar planet. Col. Taylor and crew wander through a desolate zone called “The Forbidden Zone”. Then they encounter dumb humans who behave in a very slovenly and primitive manner! Then they encounter a race of talking, highly intelligent apes, and an entire ape civilization not unlike human civilizations from days of yore! Then Col. Taylor and crew are taken prisoner by the apes, and treated very cruelly. The other members of the crew receive lobotomies and are experimented upon by cruel ape scientists, until they are literally walking zombies – more dead than alive. Col. Taylor is protected from these atrocities by 2 friendly chimpanzee scientists named Cornelius and Zira, who learn that he can talk. Dr. Zaius, chief ape scientist and Defender of the Faith, then puts Col. Taylor on trial for heresy. This is where the deeper meanings of the movie start to come to the surface. Dr. Zaius threatens to lobotomize Tayor if he doesn't tell the "truth" about where he came from. But Cornelius and Zira execute a plan to free Taylor. They flee to the Forbidden Zone where, a year earlier, Cornelius had discovered a cave with artifacts of a mysterious advanced society. Dr Zaius manages to find them. After a struggle, Taylor finds a talking human doll in the mysterious cave that proves that intelligent humans were on the planet long before the apes gained control. Dr. Zaius allows Taylor to escape on horseback, without further confrontation, knowing that Taylor will find "his destiny…."

Soon after his escape, in the final, iconic scene, Taylor discovers a corroded remnant of the Statue of Liberty buried in the beach. He realizes that he has been on Earth all along, and that humanity must have destroyed its own civilization in a nuclear war, thereby paving the way for the Planet of the Apes!

What to make of this fascinating, yet confounding film?? There are many competing themes that, at times, almost seem to contradict one another. The society of the apes is itself a contradiction: On the one hand, we have what is ostensibly an evil society that takes pleasure in murdering and mutilating innocent humans in the name of science. Yet, on the other hand we have a society that is ultimately guided by faith and faith alone – clearly a good thing! The faith of the apes is based on the “sacred scrolls,” and any scientific inquiry that may contradict the writings on the scrolls is deemed heresy. Let us turn this concept “on its head.” If, instead of a society of advance apes freely mistreating dumb humans and governing their society in accordance with the tenets of “sacred scrolls” (essentially the bible of the ape society in the film), we instead were dealing with our own advanced human society freely using apes and other animals for our own purposes, all the while governing our society in accordance with strictest interpretation of the Bible. There is no question that that is good – even glorious. It is an ideal our society must strive for. So, you may be thinking that the movie is Good, right?? NOT SO FAST! Remember, this is a society of advanced apes! Not Humans! Furthermore, the movie clearly aims to portray this society as cruel and unenlightened. Therefore, we have an ape society behaving in a manner that is, according to the film, unenlightened and evil because of their mistreatment of humans and because the tenets of their sacred scrolls supersede any real scientific inquiry. Does this imply that humans are wrong for mistreating apes and other animals in our real world? Does it also imply that societies who govern in accordance with the Bible are backward and unenlightened? I believe the film is implying that. Therefore, based on this analysis, you may think you can make the correct judgment as to whether the movie is good or evil. But there is more to this story! Remember, “Planet of the Apes” is a series of movies, and there are four more films in the series!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Wall Mart Shoppers are Good Christians

So last Sunday, I decided to have an exciting time by going out after church. So after church I went to Wal-Mart. For those of you looking to “go out” on weekends, or spend some time out on Friday nights, I recommend Wal-Mart as the place to be. It’s the place to see and be seen by good friends and neighbors alike. It’s also a great place for the ladies to go and chat and gossip with their church friends in the aisles concerning all the latest things happening on their lives. During my most recent trip to Wal-Mart I saw several church friends who had attended church services with me that very same day! I saw several neighbors who attended church services also. There may have been some people there who did not attend church but, thankfully, I didn’t recognize them. Regardless, I’m sure that many, if not most of the people there had attended church because Wal-mart shoppers always appear to be simple wholesome people who respect faith and values, and such people certainly know how to spot a bargain. Therefore, Wal-Mart is the ideal place to shop if you are a faithful church-going Christian. Wal-Mart is a Christian company with Christian ideals. They are headquartered, not in New York City or San Francisco, but in Bentonville Arkansas. The senior management consists of earnest, hard-working leaders, who remain faithful to their customers by working to keep prices as low as possible – thereby allowing Christian families to save money. The company is respectful of Christian ideals by banning inappropriate books, like that one book by John Stewart in 2004. They say that over 70% of Wal-Mart shoppers voted for George Bush in 2004. While most viscous liberals out there would cite that statistic as a point of ridicule aimed at conservative Christians who remained faithful to their values, I see it as a sign that Wal-Mart shoppers are simply good people who love their country.

I also believe that Wal-Mart provides great jobs for the local people. However, every time I visit Wal-Mart I get the impression that many of the workers are not thankful enough for their Wal-Mart jobs. Wal-Mart jobs are wonderful jobs for many people. They get paid 8.50 an hour and they get occasional bathroom breaks. They have the priviledge of being able to help the customers get low prices. They also get to wear those bright blue smocks. What on earth is wrong with that? Yet, I get the impression that many US Wal-Mart workers are dissatisfied, and I don’t understand why. I feel that the dissatisfaction of Wal-mart workers is symbolic of what is wrong with the working class in general. That’s why we need to completely eliminate social welfare programs, eliminate taxes on the rich, and bring back poor-houses as a means of punishing those who will not work at Wal-mart type jobs. If we had poor-houses (see previous post on bringing back the 19th century-style poor-house) the Wal-mart workers would be truly grateful for their jobs because they would see that the only alternative would be the poor-house - where they would learn the true definition of misery and suffering. Only then would Wal-Mart workers finally realize that they had better eagerly perform their jobs with bright cheerful attitudes, lest they be fired and consigned to the dark gloomy halls of the poorhouse!

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Women With Guns Get Raped

I love the military and our hero soldiers because they risk everything to protect this wonderful Christian nation. Every man that signs up to fight for America's freedom to worship the Lord Jesus Christ is a hero and will, upon death, be praised by God for living such a righteous existence. That is, of course, as long as the soldier is a Christian, which he most likely will be if news reports are correct. But there is another reason I love the military: it is a microcosm of the order of things. Order and discipline are to be respected, and non-Christians are reprimanded. And now I've just read this: women in the military are treated as sexual objects. If you read the article, it interviews dozens of women who claim to have been sexually assaulted by our heroes and states that sexual assault and harassment are rampant in the military. I'm sure many people will react with outrage; however, those who are effected in such a way have embraced feminism and deny that women's' natural place is in the home rearing children and serving her husband. Luckily, in the military, where soldiers scoff at liberal attempts to rearrange the natural of order of things because our boys are threatened every day by evil Muslims and don't have the luxury of placating lesbians of feminists (unless they want to die), we have a bastion of goodness and wholesomeness. So, while corrupt senators and other political leaders -- tricked by the evils of witchcraft -- may force women upon the military, our soldiers are intelligent enough, Christian enough, and brave enough to put them in their place. For it is a crime against nature and God to have women serving in the military, driving tanks, carrying guns, etc. etc.. Women who insist on offending God deserve the leers and gropes, and all should remember such things would never happen if the women were at home serving their men.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Africa is Evil

It shouldn't surprise anyone, but Africa -- land of famine and war -- is host to an unspeakable evil: a museum that displays so-called "hominoid" bones that supposedly prove humans evolved from apes. As readers of this site know, man did not evolve from monkeys and the earth is only a few thousand years old; and while I recognize that "scientists" have "found" proof that this may not be true -- proof like carbon dating and dinosaur bones -- one need only look at the nefarious power of the devil to see that such proof is merely nonsense, that either the devil put such bones there or scientists are merely inventing these finds (on a side note, I find it highly ironic that scientists who doubt the Bible as the Word of God do so because the Bible can't be proved, while, at the same time, relying on methods like carbon dating to prove their own points, methods that they, themselves, can't prove, since they are unable to travel back in time to verify such tests are accurate). Anyway, I mention this abomination in Africa for two reasons. First, it is an example of why colonialism was a good thing, as we spread our Christian message to the heathen masses. Notice how, since Satan infiltrated Western society and convinced us to leave Africans to their own devices, the entire continent save South Africa has devolved into constant famine and war, where children soldiers rape women and chop off the hands of their enemies. This is why, if we are ever serious about ending such atrocities (and terrorism), it is imperitive that we begin imperialism afresh, beginning by invading Kenya and destroying the aforementioned museum. The second reason why I feel inclined to write on Africa is that it serves as a perfect example of what happens to a people that turn their back on the Bible and embrace heathen ways like Islam and the tribalism that has led to the massacres in Rawanda and Sudan. If one wonders what the end times shall look like, they need only look at Africa and multiply it by a million.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Please Somebody Burn Down His House

The latest drivel from one of the liberal, art-sy elite, in this case David Byrne:

"This is why intelligent people can be religious. That's an arrogant statement -- it presumes that religion and intelligence are incompatible, that anyone with any sense wouldn't believe in unproven supernatural faith-based scenarios. But of course that is not the case. I personally might believe (believe!) that many religious beliefs are irrational and verge on lunacy, but I can both see their efficacy --— their attraction and usefulness -- and sense their beauty. One does not have to be a Catholic to stand in awe of the Sistine Chapel ceiling; be Muslim to hear the lure of the soulful cry of the muezzin and sense the power of the mass dance of the faithful in prayer; be Hindu or Jewish to read and enjoy a text that is often chock full of amazing and surprising metaphors and analogies. These dances, music, images, metaphors are, I sense, deep-rooted -- they are like the neural propensities for grammatical structures that Chomsky goes on about and are therefore similarly genetically inheritable. The dance that is religion has evolved within us, to be released and expressed in a thousand different forms, none of which make logical sense, and all of which, if looked at literally, require a large helping of denial. God is in the wiring, bequeathed by the genes."

It is comments like these that shine light on why the liberal elite -- especially Hollywood and pop stars -- should not be allowed to speak out. As much as I hate the French, they really had the right idea when drama people were all forced to be mimes. The man (David Byrne) wrote catchy pop songs in the late 70s through the 80s, yet now, for some reason, he believes himself qualified to pontificate on such things as religion, politics and the environment. Really, his transformation from singer to pontificator is exactly why pop music is a tool of the Devil. Yes, in the beginning, it all seems innocent and fun, but as we sway our hips and hum to ourselves, Satan is whispering in our ear, giving us delusions of grandeur.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Genetically Engineered Women -- Beware A Woman in Power

The last few months have seen what evil, lesbian feminists would call a glorious rise of women into all positions of power. Just look, for example, at Nancy Pelosi becoming the first female Speaker of the House and Hillary Clinton's run for the White House. As a good Christian man who believes in the word of the Bible, that women, always sinful and weaker than men, should remain subservient and raise children and cook, such news disturbed me; however, it was more of a slow burn, lacking in the immediacy of baby killers and pornography and homosexual love -- things that simply jump out at true Christians and demand they take action right away, lest their prayers be filled with rage. But then I saw the picture above, and suddenly I realized that even the slightest deviation from the words of the Bible are dangerous and demand immediate attention, for while, at certain times, certain sins don't seem THAT bad or like they threaten our way of life right NOW, Satan has a way of creeping up on us all, such that by the time we realize that our inaction has had dire consequences, it is too late to do anything about it. I say this because it is obvious from the picture that scientists seem to have created the first genetically engineered woman in Serena Williams. Either that or they cross bread her with some extremely powerful and muscular animal. And it's a disgusting sight, as though somebody put a perfectly fine looking female face on the body of Apollo Creed in Rocky 1-4. More than this, however, is the extreme danger that this represents; for if such engineering/cloning continues to take place, it is only a matter of time before men become even further emasculated and women completely flood our society with their sinful nature. As it is, women have been very successful in deceiving men into sin; however, we have always, when we have been able to overcome temptation, been able to reassert our manhood by punishment or diet or power of the purse. But if women continue on this path to "freedom," becoming hulking monsters not unlike Serena Williams, women will no longer need to deceive us into sin, but will simply force us. Where they once used nagging or their sex, now they will use their fists. And people like Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi won't simply be ineffective leaders because they are women and therefore stupider and weaker than men, they will become the most brutal dictators the world has ever seen. At the moment, I'm not quite sure how to stop this coming catastrophe other than to demand that men be especially harsh when their women talk back or disobey them. Hopefully, this will be enough to warn the women of the world to not to even think about becoming the next Serena Williams. If this is not enough, then perhaps something not unlike the whipping room can be adapted for adult women. If it is as effective on women as it is children, there is no doubt that the disobedient spirit of our spouses and girlfriends can be broken. I know some of you doubt the problem I just described, but I implore you -- stare at the picture of Serena Williams for awhile and see if that doesn't get you disturbed.

Friday, January 12, 2007

People who suffer "Depression" have Evil Ways

This is a quick post to remind those of you out there who suffer from "clinical depression" or "anxiety" or any similar "psychological condition" that you had better get off your lazy butts and change your evil ways, because if you don't you have much to fear because you will likely wind up burning in the flames of hell forever and ever. There is no excuse for being depressed, and those who are depressed are probably very lazy people with evil ways. Children and teens who are depressed simply need to have it whipped out of them! However with adults its a bit more complex, but the poorhouse or prison would likely be an appropriate solution, as well as a thorough education in the wrath of the almighty and the infinite eternal tortures of hell. We could also use electrocution as a means of punishment. Now I realize, that you quacks out there who call yourselves "mental health professionals" may disagree with this assessment, but that's too bad because, those of us who are good Christ-fearing, church-going people see right through your liberal, secular-progressive quackery!! We've had just about enough of your secular psycho-babble nonsense, and it's time that we as a Christ-fearing nation rise up and put a stop to it! It's time to stop coddling people who blame their failures and shortcommings on some imaginary mental state! There's no such thing as a "psychological condition"! There is only the immortal soul! There is only good and evil, God and the Devil, and there is only heaven and hell!! And the only good cure for this so-called "depression" is that people be taught the truth about the infinite tortures and terrors of hell, and that's all there is too it.

Let me also add that I do believe in 2 treatments used by the so-called metal health doctors: Electrocution and Labotamy. I believe these procedures can be used as appropriate punishments for those who suffer from mental health disorders. However, they must be Punishments! Not "treatments" Treatment is equivalent to coddling! It's like giving a bratty, spoiled child candy. Therefore, Electrocution should be used to cause severe pain as a means of Punishing the depressed person. Labotomy, of course can and should be used as the final solution.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Children are Our Future

This article is immensely interesting, as it shows what the good Doctor and I have been preaching since the beginning of this site -- that Children are precious creatures that deserve special protections and training. As the article describes, children are inherently more prejudiced than adults. Of course, it being an article for print in the liberal media, this is considered bad thing; however, what it should tell us is that children have the capacity to be the best and brightest and most loyal Christian soldiers, for they are less corruptible by the homosexuality, witchcraft and other various forms of moral relativism. That is why we should embrace children's prejudices and reinforce them such that they are prejudiced for the right things -- namely that the Bible is the word of God and all sinners must and will be punished, in this life or the next. This, of course, can be done with mandatory Bible readings and trips to the whipping room; but also, now that this Harvard study proves what the Good Doctor and I have already known, we should garner more support for special school programs, where non-conformists (precursors to the homosexuals and witches that will arise within children once they leave the tender loving care of their church and parents) are segregated and humiliated whenever their paths cross with the good Christian students. Rather than "Home Room," there should be a special period where the good Christians get to go to the non-conformist classrooms and spit on them and laugh at them, building a sense of camaraderie among the Christian children and a sense of worthlessness among the non-conformists. This way, those that can be led back to the Lord surely will, while the irredeemable will suffer. This, of course, is just one of many things that could and must be done to ensure that no child will be left behind except those that deserve to be.

Bring back the Poorhouse!

1824 Law of the State of New York - "Paupers to be sent to the poorhouse"

"And be it further enacted, That whenever, after the said poor-house shall be completed, any poor person in any city or town of the same county shall apply for relief, the said overseer of the poor of such city or town shall make application to a justice of the peace of said county,...that such person is in such indigent shall be [the justice's] issue his warrant under his hand, directed to any constable of such city or town, whose duty it shall be to execute the same, thereby requiring said constable forthwith to take such poor person....and remove him or her to said poor-house, and there deliver him or her to the care of the keeper of the same poor-house, to be relieved and provided for as his or her necessities shall require; and he or she shall be discharged therefrom by order of the superintendents of the same [poor]-house, or some one of them:"
-1824 Law Concerning Paupers in the State of New York

Our modern day society is way too forgiving of the poor and the indigent. We have government progrms like Social Security, Unemplyment insurance, Workman's Compensation, Medicare, Medicaid, and the like. Government programs like these tend to reward poverty rather than punishing it. Our government SHOULD have programs that deal with poverty. However, they should be completely focused on PUNISHING poverty rather than rewarding it. Do you recall LBJ's "War on Poverty" from the 1960's? It was a totally wrongheaded policy because it expanded welfare and easy relief from the burdens of poverty. Now - I DO believe we should have a war on poverty, but it should be EXACTLY that - a WAR! Just like the war on terror! We don't reward terrorism, do we? We fight it and try to destroy it. The war on poverty should be the same. While we can't destroy the poor just for being poor, we can certainly execute punishments on them as a means of forcing them into a more proporous Christian lifestyle, and publicly bestowing condemnations on them that are consistent with God's will. And how do we do this? The Poorhouse! Yes, the poorhouse! Once again, another great example of how the cure to our societal ills can be found not by secular progressive thinking but from looking back to the days of yore! The poorhouse is truly the proper solution for the indigent. Can't pay your bills? Can't put food on the table? Can't keep the heat on? Well then, it's off to the poor-house with ye!!
The poorhouse will not encourage poverty and dependence on the state, but it rightly will punish it! The poorhouse is not a fun place to be, but a horrible sad place of suffering. Notwithstanding the above provision of the New York statute which specifies some relief and provision of the minimum necessities, I can assure you that in reality such poorhouses were considered to be the ultimate form of suffering and humiliation for the poor whoose only other alternative was DEATH, judgement, and eternal damnation for their lives of sinful indolence! They were meant to discourage and punish indolence and poverty rather than encourage and reward it. They were meant as places where desperate wretched paupers and orphan children could be shut away from the refined, delicate eyes of the virtuous and the properous, and to warn those of the industrious working classes that they had better remain so, lest they by consigned to the dark gloomy halls of the poor-house! Where meals consist of meager plain gruel, where you will be put to work on the treadmills, grinding up bones and rocks! Where you will be given the minimum amount of gruel required to stay alive. Where your poorhouse clothes consist of coarse cloth sacks, that provide neither comfort nor warmth. Where disease, plague, and small-pox abounds! Where whippings are dispensed for any infraction whatsoever! Where loved ones are kept isolated from one another at ALL times. These are just some of the many attributes of the poorhouse, and it should always remain the one and only solution to dealing with not just the poor and the indigent, but also the insane, the sickly, the drunkards, the abandoned orphan children, and the demented elderly! That must be their lot!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Children Must Be Protected From Transgender Teachers

I recently read an article about how many schools are allowing teachers to become transgender and then, continue to teach children! This is a picture of one such teacher, who started out as a man, and then decided he wanted to become a woman, and then he had an operation which turned him into a woman, and then the school allowed him-her to continue to teach! Needless to say, I was so horrified by this spectacle, that I immediately knew it was my Christian duty to sound out the General Alert to all concerned Christian parents! Therefore, in keeping with my Christian duty as a Christ fearing man, I hereby sound out this General Alert! Beware parents, Beware! - For as we speak, during this very school day, your children's delicate eyes and ears are very likely being tainted by depraved creatures who teach that it is OK to alter nature's course! The end result? Your children's minds will be irrevocably changed into believing that they too will eventually want to change their gender, and become just like the man-woman you see pictured herein! Do you want this to happen to your children? I certainly think not! Therefore, you must fight to keep transgendered teachers out of the school.

Friday, November 24, 2006

The Muslims Finally Got Something Right

I was interested to read this about creationism in Turkey -- a country that is apparently more hostile to the idea of evolution than our own great country of America. I was very saddened by that statistic, if only because it is a slap in the face of all good Christians in this country that Turkey, a place of heathens and very garlic-y food, is more dedicated to the words of God than America. But take heart true Christians, the Turks will all burn in Hell when their time comes, regardless of their righteousness in the arena of creationism.

My real reason for this post, however, was to comment on one of the claims made by an author of a Turkish creationism book, specifically that Darwin is responsible for terrorism. At first, I thought this was simply raving from a heathen in denial of his place in Hell, since Muslims are responsible for terrorism. And while I still believe that Muslims are indeed the only real terrorists in the world, the author makes a point, This is because the West's love of Darwin and evolution has made us weak in the eyes of the Lord, thus making it possible that Islam is any threat to our nation. For this obsession with Darwin has distracted the powers that be of the holy righteousness of the Lord and absolute correctness of the Bible, such that they are unable to combat Muslim terrorists with the powers vested in Christians by God to combat the existence of such filth as Islam. If only our people and leaders would embrace the Old Testament and forget about the claims of a disgusting man such as Darwin, we could put Islam in its place such that whatever Muslim we did not keep in a cage or kill would be too terrified by the wrath of God to ever attempt to harm us. But no, instead our leaders are distracted by keeping evolution in schools and denying the truth of the Bible. This allows terrorism to flourish, and this is why Darwin is, like the Turkish guy said, really responsible for terrorism.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

No Wonder They're Almost Extinct!

I just read this disturbing article about the methods being used to get pandas to reproduce. Yes, apparently they are showing pandas porn to teach them how to mate. This, I fear, does not bode well for the future of mankind, for the fact that pandas need such disgusting titillation in order to reproduce may, in fact, describe our own condition and why vast swathes of the world population is obsessed with pornography, such that it has infiltrated every facet of our lives. While one may never have guessed it given all the children that Hispanics, Africans and Muslims seem to spawn, what the world may be looking at is a failure of its obligation to God to raise as many children as possible in the words of Christ. That means we, like pandas, may be going extinct. Of course, it may be true that porn does increase our fornication and therefore the number of children the world will see born; however, such children will surely not be raised in the words of God, thus sewing the seeds of destruction upon mankind. Whether these children join the armies of Satan to wreak havoc on the world (just look at the Middle East and Africa, where children grow up heathen) or God simply sees fit to strike us down with coming of Armageddon, we are certainly doomed to a fate not unlike that of pandas. On a secondary note -- and this is just speculation on my part -- the fact that we are showing pandas pornography
may lead to a new kind of enemy that we Christian soldiers may have to fight: animals possessed by Satan. I say this simply because the using of evil technology to teach animals the joys of fornication will certainly have some sort of perverted effect upon their brain. Now, whether that effect is something akin to being possessed by the Devil such that we must beware pandas running around China like werewolves remains to be seen. This is especially true given that pandas are very lazy creatures and spend most of their days sitting around eating bamboo.

No Wonder They're Almost Extinct!

I just read this disturbing article about the methods being used to get pandas to reproduce. Yes, apparently they are showing pandas porn to teach them how to mate. This, I fear, does not bode well for the future of mankind, for the fact that pandas need such disgusting titillation in order to reproduce may, in fact, describe our own condition and why vast swathes of the world population is obsessed with pornography, such that it has infiltrated every facet of our lives. While one may never have guessed it given all the children that Hispanics, Africans and Muslims seem to spawn, what the world may be looking at is a failure of its obligation to God to raise as many children as possible in the words of Christ. That means we, like pandas, may be going extinct. Of course, it may be true that porn does increase our fornication and therefore the number of children the world will see born; however, such children will surely not be raised in the words of God, thus sewing the seeds of destruction upon mankind. Whether these children join the armies of Satan to wreak havoc on the world (just look at the Middle East and Africa, where children grow up heathen) or God simply sees fit to strike us down with coming of Armageddon, we are certainly doomed to a fate not unlike that of pandas. On a secondary note -- and this is just speculation on my part -- the fact that we are showing pandas pornography may lead to a new kind of enemy that we Christian soldiers may have to fight: animals possessed by Satan. I say this simply because the using of evil technology to teach animals the joys of fornication will certainly have some sort of perverted effect upon their brain. Now, whether that effect is something akin to being possessed by the Devil such that we must beware pandas running around China like werewolves remains to be seen. This is especially true given that pandas are very lazy creatures and spend most of their days sitting around eating bamboo.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

The Dalai Lama Should Be Tortured

The Washington Post today has a very dangerous opinion section on religion. Writers include: the Dalai Lama and the ex-president of Iran, Mohammad Khatami. Such writers have voices that do not deserve to be heard and should be kept from the delicate ears of this glorious Christian nation. Now, one might wonder why the title of this post selects the heathen Dalai Lama to attack as opposed to the murderous ex-president of Iran. I mean, as a Muslim, there is certainly a special place in hell for the infidel Khatami, as he and his kind are responsible for 9/11 and spreading their religion of hate since invading Christian Spain in the 8th century. But that's the thing -- most Americans know not to trust the words of a Muslim, so anything he says in the pages of the Washington Post are sure to be ignored. The Dalai Lama, on the other hand, is revered by every dirty hippie, by every morally confused 20 or 30 something in America and his words carry great weight. And what is his message? Peace and happiness in the face of conflict. "Dialogue" and education and knowledge rather than righteous destruction of sin and filth. This is the message of the Devil, who happily tricks us into peaceful coexistence with his spawn as his evil spreads and spreads like cancer. Listening to the Dalai Lama is tantamount to a breast cancer-ridden woman undergoing aroma therapy and acupuncture rather than having her breast lopped off. It's disgusting, and if we continue down this stupid path we will see the cancer spread.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Science Can Be Good

I recently read this about a new medical procedure where wombs can be transplanted into infertile women. As we all know that it is a woman's duty to repent for original sin by giving birth, this is indeed good news. Unfortunately, many women will reject this new technology and continue to live meaningless lives, lives of sin; and while I recognize that, currently, we cannot force the infertile to have womb transplants, we could at least focus on those that we do have power over: a) prisoners and b) vegetables. I recognize that many that fall in to these two categories aren't necessarily infertile, but the beauty of this operation, I think, is that it can be used to install additional wombs into women, such that they could be impregnated multiple times at the same time. For prisoners -- i.e. sinners who must repent more than your average woman -- this would give them a chance to make amends with God. And as prisoners, they do not deserve any rights and should be forced to bear children into this world. The vegetative, on the other hand -- we would be doing them a favor by bringing them closer to God through childbirth at a time when they can do nothing. If they could speak and/or move, they would certainly approve.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Let our voices be heard this election day!

Tomorrow is election day, and I want to do everything in my power to ensure that the evangelical Christian vote is heard tomorrow at the polls! The Christian values voters must let their voices be heard! I pray that all conservative evangelicals show up to vote tomorrow, and I pray that all liberals stay home, and if they do not stay home, then I pray that they will be confronted and challenged at the polls by GOP poll watchers, who, I pray, will use the toughest tactics possible to prevent secular liberals from voting.

This poem was written to inspire all conservative evangelicals to vote and let their voices be heard!

We have come,
Good fellows of the Lord,
To a crossroads in our being.
We must understand,
What is truly at stake,
As soldiers of the Lord.

We will raise up our voices,
Into the night!
We will take a stand,
And we will fight!

Are we not the children of the Lord?
Or the dust of a future past?
We raise our voices in the night!
Crying to heaven!!
And will our voices be heard?
Or will they Break Like The Wind!

We are the footprints across the sands,
We are the thumb on a stranger's hand,
We made a promise in the night!
Crying to heaven!!
Is this a promise that we keep?
Or one we Break Like The Wind!

We will forever sing this endless song,
We send our hearts into the night!
Soaring to heaven!!
And will our voices be heard?
And will our hearts still beat on?
Or will they Break Like The Wind!
Break Like The Wind
Break Like The Wind.

Let us not go silently,
Into this good night!
We will take a stand,
In the final fight!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Beware, Beware, Beware the Overweight Wife

Yes, these last few weeks have been a trying time for we Christians -- our Party, the Party of God, is in danger of losing control of the government, leaving our glorious nation to be overrun by sin, and now this latest tragedy affecting the evangelical community has struck, as one of the community's leaders has been exposed as a filthy homosexual. As to the first issue, I only pray that the allegations of corruption are not true and that the light of God will shine upon the voters in the voting booth. I have my doubts as to what we've heard in the media, as it is controlled by the Devil.

Now, for the second issue, I recently read this, which shines some light on what may be the root of the problem:

"Most pastors I know do not have satisfying, free, sexual conversations and liberties with their wives. At the risk of being even more widely despised than I currently am, I will lean over the plate and take one for the team on this. It is not uncommon to meet pastors’ wives who really let themselves go; they sometimes feel that because their husband is a pastor, he is therefore trapped into fidelity, which gives them cause for laziness. A wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband in the ways that the Song of Songs is so frank about is not responsible for her husband’s sin, but she may not be helping him either."

The pastor that iresponsiblele for the above is quite correct, I think, in at least identifying a source of temptation for, not only pastors, but men in general: a wife'slothfulnessss. It's not just, as the pastor identifies, the wives of church elders that suffer from letting themselves go, sure that their husbands, obviously good Christians, will never stray. Most women with husbands suffer from this delusion. And I say delusion, for that is exactly what it is, as nearly all men -- except for the most truly pious -- can be tempted by the whispers of Satan when their wives become fat and disgusting. That is the weakness of men, which is why we can only and must strive to live in a righteous manner akin to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Yes, man, no matter how righteous, is still ridden with the faults of men; and, knowing this, it is the wife's duty to make herself attractive to her husband so that Satan cannot send his armies of whores and homos to tempt him. It is really a simply charge, although those women that refuse it are, like men, simply succumbing to their innermost faults, in this case laziness rather than sexual desire. That is why it is equally the duty of men to insure that their wives stay attractive and fit so they are attractive -- not repulsive -- when the time comes to make babies. Diets, training, and -- sometimes -coercionon for when the wife becomes especially insolent and stubborn -- all are useful tools in the fight against a woman's sloth. Men that neglect these aspects of marriage are certainly beckoning for the evil Satan to place roadblocks on the path to righteousness.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Ban Stem Cell Research and all other cell research

I am a lover of life. I believe that human life is the most important thing in the world. Therefore, I am against anything that would destroy human life in the name of "science" and "research." Therefore, I am adamantly opposed to stem cell research because it involves the taking of human life in order to support sime evil, grisly scientific experiment to be carried out by some immoral scheming scientist in some horrible lab. Therefore, I believe that all stem cell research should be banned -- and not just embryonic stem cell research, but ALL stem cell research!! It is appaling to me that we would use precious stem cells for various lab experiments and what not! Well, you may wonder: "Why can't we use stem cells for research as long as they are not embryonic stem cells?" My answer to that: STILL UNACCEPTABLE!! Because, my dear misguided people, stem cells are still stem cells, even if they are not embryonic stem cells! If a stem cell is not an embryonic stem cell, does that make it no longer a stem cell?? I certainly thank not!! Therefore, you should clearly see how the use of any stem cells for science and research is so very wrong! So very wrong indeed! This argument should not be questioned or doubted - period!

Now, lets take this one step further. What about the human cells that are not stem cells? What about these cells? Are they not a form of human life? Of course they are! They are life! And they are Oh So Precious! They are Oh So Very Precious! Therefore, they must not be used for any form of research! Do you want to be a part of the culture of life? Then you must oppose the use of human cells for scientific research - period! You may feel that this position is unreasonable - Well Tough! Because it does not matter what you "feel". What do you think life is? Some kind of "new age" therapy session, where we all talk about how we "feel", so that we can try to justify, using Satan's "logic", that it is OK to use human cells, created by God, for grissly scientific research? NO! The only thing that matters is what's in the bible, and the last time I checked, the bible does not condone the taking of human life. The bible does not make any kind of distinction between human life as a whole or the human life that is inherent within our individual cells. Therefore, we must stop this insanity of using human cells for scientific research. I have much more to write on this subject later on, including my public condemnation of a young boy I know of, who is afflicted with juvenile diabetes, and he has the horrible audacity and the absolute selfishness to "wish" that stem cell research will expand, so that a cure "might" be found to a condition which almighty God WILLED him to have!! Unbelievable!!

Friday, October 20, 2006

These things which I believe - a poem of inspiration

I have written this poem as a special gift to all of my followers. This may very well be one of the greatest inspirational poems ever written. I hope that when you read it, it will give you the strength to hold fast unto those things which you so Truly Do Believe!

These things which I believe,
These things which I believe,
What are these things?
These Things that I believe.

These Things that I believe,
These things that I believe,
Freedom - one of the many,
The many things that I believe.

What are these things?
These things that I believe,
Life is a thing,
In which I do truly believe!

These things that I believe,
These things that I believe,
What are these things?
These Things that I believe.

What are these things?
These things that I believe,
Prayer is a thing,
In which I do truly believe!

What are these things?
These things that I believe,
Old-Time Morals are things,
In which I do truly believe!

Let us pray for the things,
In which I do believe,
Because they are these things,
These things which I believe!

Why must we pray,
For the things that I believe?
Because they are these things,
These things that I believe!

Let us believe,
In the things that I believe.
We must always believe,
In the things which I believe.

There are are very certain things,
Certain things that I beleive.
And they are different than other things,
Which others may believe!

These things which I believe,
These things which I believe,
These are the things,
These Things which I believe.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Women For Jesus Make Babies

I found this article very disturbing, and it is yet another example of Catholic craziness. While dedication to Jesus is almost always a beautiful and worthy thing, a woman declaring her eternal virginity is misguided at best, for it is, of course, a woman's duty to bear a man many children who she can then raise in the way of the Lord. Certainly this consecrated virginity is a Satanic plot. Catholic priests, I think, are brainwashing women that would otherwise normally be true servants for the Lord. I can't imagine what Satanic rituals they must perform, but it would not surprise me if the priests preyed on especially ugly and fat -- and therefore lonely -- women. As is a proven fact, such women are susceptible to all sorts of temptation, which is why it is the duty of all good Christians to be especially protective of such women. We Christians should form support groups where we dedicate ourselves to finding the lonely women men who can rule over them in a manner appropriate to building a stable family and truly loving Jesus.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Arrogant Judges

I detest arrogance of any kind. I believe that arrogance is one of the most contemptable of all human vices. That is why I detest most judges in this country. They are arrogant. They are openly contemptuous of our rights and freedoms. They are on a reckless Satanic rampage. I remember clearly (but not fondly) my day in court several years ago, when I tried to seek intervention by the District Court to prevent the building and starting up of a morally suspect business called "Sweet Treats Creamery". Now I won't elborate too much on what moral depravities were likely to occur in this store, except to say that the "goings on" in stores that have the word "creamery" in their name are likely to be too horrible and depraved to repeat here!! Stores like this should never have been permitted to operate in a family town. Unfortunately, due to the arrogance of the district court judge, my request for court intervention to prevent this depraved business from starting up failed, and, as a result, I can no longer drive directly to church along the primary road because this business happens to be located on the primary road. Instead I have to take a long and drawn out detour that takes me all the way around town so that I don't have to pass by this store. This detour is needed to ensure that I am NEVER within 10 miles of this store! I feel that by always keeping this safe distance away from the store, I am sufficiently protected from ever seeing or hearing any of the discusting, wicked, depraved acts that are likely to be occuring therein!

My day in court to try to prevent this store from going into business was not one that I remember fondly. The judge arrogantly stated that my contention was groundless and had no legal merit. "How Dare You!!," I responded. I then started to quote bible verses in the hope that if the judge was a good Christian man, he would see the error of his ways and repent before me that minute! Sadly, this evil arrogant man rejected my arguments further by ordering me to stop quoting the bible. He said that "his courtroom is no place for bible readings." The court is no place for bible readings?? What horrible evil arrogance! What has happened to our judicial system? Of all places the courts should be among the most necessary places for bible readings, as our laws should be based on the moral standards set forth in the bible. Sadly this arrogant judge refused to be taught the error of his ways, and he had the audacity to cite me for contempt! As a result I had to pay a 100 doller fine! I was outraged beyong belief! I hope that all of you reading this share my outrage.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Freedom isn't Free

Anyone who knows me knows that there are two things in the world that I love more than any other earthly thing: Life and Freedom.

I am both a lover of life and a lover of freedom. I am a lover of life because I believe that life is Oh So Very Precious! I am against the taking of innocent life through abortions, stem cell research (ALL stem cells, NOT just embryonic stem cells), and any other form of research that might damage living human cells, even if they are not stem cells. That is why most biological research must be banned, because it could damage precious living human cells!

I am a lover of freedom because I know what’s at stake in the post 9-11 world. I am a lover of freedom because I understand that those who disagree with President Bush’s policies in the war on terror should be silenced and liberal activists should be locked up. I understand that freedom is a very beautiful and precious thing, so precious that we must preserve it like a jar of delicious wholesome preserves by silencing those who are outspoken in their criticisms of President Bush’s War on terror and the spreading of freedom in the middle east. Let me further elaborate on this analogy: Freedom is like a jar of wholesome blackberry preserves, and therefore it must be sealed and contained lest it be exposed to the elements and turn rotten. Therefore, just like the jar of wholesome preserves it is imperative that people are not permitted to espouse liberal subversive ideas. People who do this must be locked up so that true Christian freedoms may be preserved just like the jar of wholesome blackberry preserves. When we allow liberals to criticize the decisions of our president, we are in a since, exposing freedom to the evil ways of the world, and then the freedom starts to become rotten and evil, and then freedom has mutated from an instrument of God into an instrument of the Devil. In order to prevent this, and prevent the questioning of our Christian leaders, most people need to become like little children, and the Christian leaders must be like harsh fathers to these disobedient and misguided children. We must amend our laws and our Constitution to accommodate this. Anyone who doesn’t understand this doesn’t understand what freedom is all about.

I also want to again emphasize that I am filled with love for each and every one of you, and it is the love that a father has for his disobedient, misguided children. That is why I choose to bring you my messages because they are messages of love and hope. I am, in a sense like your father, and I pray that there will come a time when you think of me as such.

Friday, August 11, 2006

The White House Loves Armageddon

This is a must read. I'm so happy about the situation, I thought I'd put the article up before I had time to comment on it. I'll be addressing the issue sometime in the near future.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

The Punishment Chair - (when whippings are not enough!)

Well, you all know that I am an ardent supporter of whippings and corporal punishment for disobedient children - both in the home and in the school! However, there are times when whippings just aren't good enough! For the truly troubled children, we need to be more innovative in our punishment techniques. It is ridiculous to think that corporal punishment of troubled children should be restricted to only lashings and cannings with hickory switches and sticks! - Even if that includes belts and whips!!! No no no!!! We must be far more comprehensive. The definition of corporal punishment is not just whippings, lashings, spanking, and cannings. Corporal Punishment, broadly defined, means any type of punishment that is meant to inflict physical pain. Therefore, we must get beyond whippings and such and consider other ways of inflicting pain on troubled children, so that the devil may be forced from them and they may be saved from eternal hellfire!

A particular punishment that I have thought up recently is more harsh than mere whippings or cannings, and therefore, it could be used for the most disobedient children and the ones who are truly troubled. It is called the punishment chair. Do you know about the electric chair? It was used for putting criminals to death! Well the punishment chair is similar to the electric chair. The key difference is that it may be built to smaller sizes so that it can accompany children, and the operating voltage is significantly lower so that it will not kill. However, it will inflict a great deal of pain! A standard sized electric chair can also be used as a punishment chair. However, the voltage must be kept low enough such that it won't result in death - only intense pain. As for the sizing - If a standard size electric chair is used, then books, bricks, pieces of wood, or a booster seat should be placed on the seat of the chair so that the child is seated high enough for his head to be placed in the Helment that is lined with a wet sponge, so that the electric current can be conducted through his body. As for the strength of the current, the current passing through the body must not be high enough to cause death, but it should cause intense pain. That is the reason the operating voltage must be kept sufficiently low, so that the electric current passing through the child's body is not too strong. As for the duration of the punishment - It must be long enough such that that the child learns his lesson! If the punishment results in unconsciousness before the child learns his lesson than the child must be woken up, and the punishment must continue! If the punishment results in blood seeping from the eyes, than so be it! If this occurs, then the punishment must be discontinued until the child recovers from the injury, and then the punishment must be continued until the child learns his lesson. How do you know when the child learns his lesson? That is when the child recants his misdeeds and acknowledges his sinful nature, and pledges to commit himself to the Lord, Jesus, and promises to become a good child from that day forward! That is the way that we can deal with truly troubled children! This may seem somewhat harsh to many of you. Well, I contend that, for some children, it is impossible to simply spank or even beat the devil out them. For some children we must inflict true excruciating pain to force the devil from them. I acknowledge that hopefully this applies to only a small segment of our youth. However it must be considered as a final solution for those children who are truly troubled and influenced by the devil!!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

George W. Bush - A Poem Celebrating Our Nation's Greatest Leader

I have become quite disturbed recently about the fact that many accross the country are starting to doubt the leadership of our country's greatest president - President George W. Bush. It is unacceptable to question the leadership and policies of President Bush. Those who do question or doubt the leadership, policies, and/or decisions of President Bush are treasonous and seditious. They are providing aid and comfort to the enemy in the War on Terror. They should be brought up on charges of treason and sedition and should be sent to detainee camps in Guantanimo Bay or elsewhere. I am neither treasonous nor seditious. I stand by our President, and pledge my unwavering allegiance to him. For this purpose, I have composed a poem:

Stalwart, Strong,
Faithful and true,
You are our President!

Your leadership,
Like a shining beacon,
The ship as it passes,
As it passes through the night,
Is guided to safe harbour,
Guided to harbour by your glorous light!

Unwavering and strong,
Stalwart in your ways,
You are resolute!
You do not back down!

Your leadership,
Like a glorious angel,
The angel of truth,
The truth and the light,
Shining - Oh so bright!
For all the world to see!

Stalwart and unwavering,
Uncompromising and resolute,
You know the only way!

You stand for freedom and light!
The freedom of truth,
The truth and the light,
You are the president who has the sight!
A sight that is set on the Final Fight!

We are engaged in a war,
A different kind of war,
A war on terror,
We will not falter,
We will not fail,
In the post-9-11 world!

A stalwart defender,
Of what is right and good,
Always determined - To do what is right!

Those who question,
Those who doubt,
They do not understand true freedom,
May their voices be silenced,
May they be permanently cast out!

You understand,
What is truly at stake,
Our morals and our values,
The enemy’s of freedom,
Will not take away these good old-time morals!
Our treasured values and freedoms,
Will continue to prosper,
In the post-9-11 world!

You will continue to stand up,
And defend our great land,
Against those who hate freedom,
Woe unto freedom haters!
Your time is at hand.

Stalwart, strong, and resolute,
May you guide our great nation,
Through treacherous waters,
Through the darkness of the night,
So, that we as a freedom-loving nation,
Will see a new light!

Because of you Mr. President,
We as a nation,
Will be guided to a new light,
A new light at the end,
Of the final fight!

Monday, August 07, 2006

Pat Robertson Is Dead to Me

Recently Pat Robertson, after years of seeing the light, knowing that global warming is nothing more than a hoax by the Devil, decided that the earth is warming up. His evidence -- a few days of really hot temperatures across America. Now I, like Pat Robertson, have always looked around me for signs from God about the ills that plague society. Like him, I knew the hurricanes devastating our coasts were a result of our country's support for gay marriage. I knew that feminism is a means for women to leave their husbands, kill their children and practice witchraft. But he is wrong about global warming. Three days of heat is evidence of nothing. Now I worry about the path my Christian right is taking, for it is inevitable that Mr. Robertson's newfound green-ness will inspire other good Christians misinterpret the signs from the heavens. For example, I've heard nothing about what God means be sending millions upon millions of jellyfish to infest our coasts. It's obvious that these jellyfish are the souls of the aborted come back to haunt us for our allowing abortion. Just look at how they resemble placenta. The ocean provides sustanence for we humans, but slowly, as the souls of the aborted accumulate and accumulate, our way of life will be stolen from us just as we steal the lives of the unborn. But Pat Robertson has yet to make any comment on the matter. His time, I'm afraid, has run its course. America will be visited by all kinds of punishment and he will blame it global warming, denying us the advantage of a kind of heavenly early warning system. We good Christians, I'm afraid, are on our own.

Shame on You!

Although this article is against such punishment, I was pleased to see that at least some judges have abandoned the idea of being activists and have instead taken on their proper role of punishing those that commit crimes. And not just your normal, run of the mill punishments either, but those that include shame -- a necessary ingredient to any punishment that is meant to reform wrongdoers and sinners into good, God-fearing people. Unfortunately, even these great judges seem to have forgotten to include the other thing necessary to teach the evil a lesson: pain. For it is pain that truly puts the fear of God into those tempted to sin, and it was pain and suffering that founded this country. Yes, Christopher Columbus was truly a great man, discovering America, beginning the slow but unstoppable progress of manifest destiny, and cutting off the noses and ears of thieves. It was he that first brought the favor of God to this land, ridding it of heathen worship with disease, crushing sin with pain and suffering. It was because Europe, even by then, was so terrified of doing right by the Lord that he was eventually forced back to the Continent, stripped of all his titles; but it was he who had the last laugh, as now Europe is no longer taken seriously by the rest of the world and ignored by America. We Americans should heed this lesson of Europe. We too have begun to ignore the cries of God to punish those that sin against Him. And as a result, we are beginning to lose our influence on the world. Just look at the mess in the Middle East, just look at China's rise. But it is not too late. The judges who've taken it upon themselves to shame the crime-ful into submission are a start. But the cutting off of ears and noses, the public whippings and stonings, need to be re-instituted as well. Even our children need to be brought along the path of righteousness with such examples of shame, pain, and humiliation. Toddlers that cry too much need to be tied up (under strict supervision of course); kids that disobey need to be sent to the whipping room for lashes. Of course all of this needs to be tempered with the Love of God, which is why mandatory Bible readings should be a part of our every day lives, given to us in schools, on the street, during work.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

The Husband Diet

Over the last year, my wife has gained over ten pounds. Where once she was the perfect weight and very beautiful, she has become chunky and slothful. I don't find it very attractive at all. Luckily, my wife, while, like any woman, perfectly capable of letting herself go, is a good dutiful woman. Which is why she has not uttered a word of complaint since I began rationing her food. I'm sure most of you will complain and call me disgusting and other such names. But the Bible teaches that a woman's duty is to her man. She must do all she can to remain attractive in his eyes. A man who neglects the power he has over his wife doesn't deserve such power and isn't really a man at all. While some of you might disagree, thinking that a man's relationship with his wife is no business of mine, you are wrong, for when a man lets his wife go she becomes lazy and corruptible; and in the end, she will tempt other women into a similar life of sloth. That is the world's problem. This is why all men need to ration the food intake of their wives or, in the alternative or perhaps in addition, demand a daily exercise routine. I realize, of course, that there are "different strokes for different folks," that one man's fat woman is another's beauty. So men should ration according to his desire.

Breasts Are For Breastfeeding, Women Are For Their Husbands

This picture got me thinking about a few things. For one, women's' breasts are for breast feeding, not for ogling, not for touching, not to serve as the object of a man's (or woman's) desires. Women who do not breast feed are starving their babies of the pure sustenance needed for them to grow up to be good, God-fearing children. Certainly women who deprive their babies of breast have been tempted by the Devil. But the picture also got me thinking about how breast feeding in public is evil. It is disgusting and no better than pornography, inspiring sinful thoughts in the perverts of the world. No, women's breasts should be covered at all times, especially in public. Even a woman's husband should be deprived of the sight of his wife's breast, lest his desire to touch her arises from the pleasure centers of his brain being activated and the couple have sex without desiring children. Of course, if the man does not find his wife attractive, yet still desires a child but cannot get aroused, a woman may use her breasts to get her husband in the mood. I was also reminded, seeing the picture, that most women of today are superficial whores. They love to expose their skin and whore-ify themselves with makeup to attract men; and when they see one another they get jealous and envious. That is why it is imperative we design some type of uniform for women to wear when they go out in public. It should be much like a burka, something that makes the woman look pure and wholesome, something white and virginal. No skin should be exposed and curves should be hidden. And since all women will look alike, there will be reason for them to envy or hate one another. The world will be a more peaceful, wholesome place. Without temptation being flaunted about, we will be able to focus our energy giving glory to God and doing right by Him.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

The World Did Not Begin with Adam And Steve -- Somebody in Congress Finally States the Obvious

Our leaders are not incorruptible Christians, nor are our people, so I'm generally pretty pessimistic when it comes to democracy. For knowing society's weakness, the Devil manipulates our politicians and institutions to offend the glory of God, ensuring homosexuality, witchcraft -- pure Satanism, even -- can thrive and grow. But reading the transcript of thisdebate on the Gay Marriage Is Evil Amendment, suddenly my pessimism is little more hopeful. Some politicians, it seems, do recognize the duty we owe to the Lord and the righteousness of the Bible.

"It's part of God's plan for the future of mankind," explained Rep. John Carter (R-Tex.).

Rep. Bob Beauprez (R- Colo.) also found "the very hand of God" at work. "We best not be messing with His plan."

Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) agreed that "it wasn't our idea, it was God's."

"I think God has spoken very clearly on this issue," said Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-Ga.), a mustachioed gynecologist who served as one of the floor leaders yesterday. When somebody quarreled with this notion, Gingrey replied: "I refer the gentleman to the Holy Scriptures."

Unfortunately, the amendment was defeated in both the Senate and the House, so there is much work to be done. However, it is undeniable that the last decade has brought a groundswell of Christian support and grassroots organization clamoring to bring this country back into the arms of God. With prayer and love for Jesus, it is only a matter of time before the sinners of America are condemned and rounded up to be introduced into the way of holy-ness. I ask now that you pray with me...

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Fall and Rise of Peter -- Another Story About the End Times (Part III)

Part III

The next few months in Peter’s life were both horrific and spectacular. As he, with the rest of the world, watched the Earth turn on itself, chaos reining through the streets – rape, murder, and theft prevalent, nobody safe, everybody afraid – and great natural disasters killing millions of people, Peter also discovered that he was a natural leader of men. And he liked it. He liked leading raids on the criminals and sinners. It gave him pleasure to watch the Godless squirm with fear at the mere sight of the Strike Force’s approach, at the inevitable wrath of God coming to bring justice and goodness to this small part of the world. The sins of his past still hung over him like the blade of a guillotine, but rather than live his life in shame, he was driven by resolve to do right by the Lord God.

One night Peter and the Strike Force happened upon an innocent women being raped by two hooligans. Sneaking up behind the attackers, Peter drew his knife and sliced the knee tendons of one, while the Strike Force captured the other, binding the man’s legs and arms with duct tape. As the injured sinner lay writhing on the ground, clutching his leg and moaning, Peter turned to the other. “Repent! Accept the Lord Jesus Christ into your heart, and be forgiven of your crimes.” But the man just laughed. Peter, though, didn’t mind for he knew with a few minutes of pain he could make the man see the light. Pain had a way of opening peoples’ minds to the message of the Lord. It was as though the suffering drained all the evil out of sinners and made their minds a souls a blank, innocent slate, like a newborn’s. So he ripped open the man’s shirt and began carving a cross into his chest. Of the over fifty men he’d performed this procedure on before, only one refused to accept Jesus. The rest now wore their scar proudly, a permanent reminder of the power of God.

The man, though, didn’t even scream. He only continued his laughter. Finally he allowed, “You can’t hurt me. I am one with the true ruler of the Universe, Dimitriadas, also known as the Antichrist, also known as Satan! And I’ve tasted your wife, Peter. Jez begged me to never stop.” With that he smiled.

Peter’s calm vanished. “Liar!” he screamed. He then pulled a pair of pliers from his belt. Ripping teeth from the man’s mouth, he pushed two of them into the man’s eye sockets. And the man still did not scream, but only began talking in what sounded like gibberish but what the Strike Force knew was a prayer to Satan. Never had they battled such pure evil.

And Peter’s mind seemed to be collapsing from the weight of it all. “No, not Jez,” he mumbled. “Not Jez. Please God, do not let it be true. My whole heart is yours, my whole heart is yours, my whole heart is yours,” and he collapsed into a pile on the ground and just rocked and rocked himself.

One of his men finally tried to comfort Peter. “The man is a liar, Peter. A liar. Jez would never do such a thing.” But something deep within Peter knew it was true. Women could not be trusted. It was their nature to betray man, to betray God. Just as Eve tempted Adam to disobey the command of God, Jez had led Peter astray and broken his heart. Nothing could fix it, nothing. Peter could feel Jesus calling to him, “I love you Peter, I love you. Do not worry; you are one of my children. Heaven awaits. Heaven,” but not even the soothing words of the Lord made him feel better. All he could think about were the things he could have done to prevent Jez from becoming such a whore. If only he forbade her reading, her watching television. When she argued, he should have silenced her. If only, if only…

Suddenly, the man whose knee tendons Peter had severed stood up, apparently healed of his affliction. The Strike Force noticed that there was a mark, a cross on the man’s forehead that had not been there before. He walked over to Peter and, kneeling down, touched him on the shoulder. “Peter,” he said, “you made me see the light. You. You are truly a child of God, Peter. Do not despair. Yours is a blessed life, meant to be spent in the arms of the Lord, basking in His glory. The pain you feel is only temporary, only a worldly pain. In Heaven you will be in an eternity of rapture. Jez will not even have existed.”

And Peter started to come back to himself. His convert had away about him. Just his touch made Peter feel better, and the man’s words were like God Himself standing before the distraught Peter, consoling him. And Peter rose to his feet. “It’s time to roll out,” he commanded his men…
Peter stormed into the house he shared with Jez. She was in the kitchen, hovering over the microwave trying to make dinner. Hearing the door slam behind him, Jez turned and smiled, unaware that he knew of her crimes. And Peter strode up to her clinching his fists; and seeing his face, Jez knew something was wrong, she even knew that it was her secret, her passion for a man she only knew as Perez, that seemed to have Peter possessed by the Devil. What she did not expect was the kick Peter delivered to her face, for he had always been such a gentle man. In fact, it was what she loved most about their marriage, that he was so loving and soft, for it allowed her to manipulate him and have her way.

Peter picked Jez up off the floor by the throat and slammed her on top of the stove. His eyes were wild and crazy, like a dog’s with rabies, and he stared at her with the look of a killer. Jez couldn’t breathe and she struggled and struggled, only finally able to bring some sense of calm to herself by remembering her few passionate rendezvous with Perez and the way he touched her. It was rough – not as rough as the way Peter now strangled her – but rough nonetheless… and dirty and sinful; and she loved every minute, every second of it; and she could barely contain her incredible need to moan and scream with pleasure at a mere caress from Perez’s hands.

Even in his possessed state, Peter’s love for Jez could be reached by her touch. And Jez, in a sudden fit of corrupt genius recognized this, reaching out and slipping her hands down his pants. She stroked him until he let go of her neck; and bringing her face up to his, she whispered, “Peter, I’m pregnant” and kissed him violently, hoping it would pass for passion. And it did, and Peter kissed her back, not forgiving her, not even really recognizing her, as his mind, already fragile from a broken heart, succumbed to pure desire, to pure evil that only women know to manipulate.

But Jez, despite her deep connection to the ways of Satan, did not contemplate the love Jesus had for Peter. Peter continued to kiss her, to touch and grope her, but all the while Jesus was whispering in his ear. “Don’t do this, Peter. Don’t. She will lead you down a path from which you can never come back.” And finally the message began to get though, until, finally, Peter quickly turned on one of the stove burners and put Jez’s hand on it. He held it there as she screamed, gathering his thoughts. After a few seconds, he said only “The Elders will know what to do with you” and dragged her out the door by her hair.
A month passed, and it was time for Jez’s punishment to be carried out. The Elders, after several emotional hours questioning Peter, finding out what he wanted and what would be best for both the town and him, decided the townspeople would shoot Jez with rubber bullets and send her off to the shantytown that had recently been built to house the sinners. Once the baby was born, it was to be taken from her and given to Peter to bring up in Christ, away from the scheming and manipulative Jez.

So Jez was led out to the town square in chains and tied to a poll; and seeing her sad figure, people began to boo and hiss, slowly forming a circle around the poll. As Peter walked through the crowd toward his wife, some began to pat him on the back, deeply sorry for the shame and sin that had visited his life. Everyone loved Peter, and nobody really blamed him; but most by now had heard his story about the sinful origins of the relationship, about how it was because of Jez that Peter was denied the Rapture, that he embraced desire and pleasure over love of God and the truth of the Bible; and knowing this, all knew his love for Jez was cursed.

Peter was the first to shoot Jez. Stoically, he raised the gun and pulled the trigger. The bullet smashed into her nose, crushing it, and Jez twisted on the poll, moaning. And the rest of the townspeople followed Peter’s lead, reigning down rubber bullets upon the woman until the moaning stopped. Peter stood and watched it all, still showing no emotion; and when he turned and again walked through the crowd, intending to go back home, the crowd slowly followed.
When Jez awoke, she found herself in a shack – her new home. The walls had no paint, no wallpaper, and the floor was dirt. Only a single light bulb hung from the ceiling. In one corner there was a stove and in another a dresser. It was the saddest site she had ever seen, and it was now her life; but she was not repentant or regretful; she did not curse herself or wish she could go back in time and make things right, truly embracing the light of Jesus Christ and accepting her life with Peter and his dominion over her. No; instead she let herself be taken by rage and desire – desire for revenge; and she stood up out of bed and began pounding on her stomach, intent on forcing the fetus insider of her out so it could suffocate without the nourishment from her womb. That would teach Peter.

And after a few minutes, the contractions began, and Jez could feel her body rejecting her premature baby. She began to bleed and feel faint; she felt a stabbing pain; she needed to lie down. And she did. And she lay there, pushing and pushing, pushing the baby out of her. At only two or three months it would surely be born dead, and she would be happy to be rid of it. God was not worthy of any duty. She would not have children that would grow up to worship Him. All children should be suffocated, she thought to herself.

As soon as the baby was delivered and she felt strong enough to move, Jez sat up and stared at the tiny bloody baby laying in her bed. It was covered in blood and placenta and did not move. She gathered up her child and began rocking it, suddenly hoping that she might feel something, some love for the fetus, for her baby; but she felt nothing, not even a twinge of sadness or regret. No, after a few seconds, she only wanted it out of her site, to forget about it, to forget that she was ever pregnant or married or was ever loved by a man, by anyone at all. So she took her child outside and tossed it in the garbage.

When the door closed behind Jez, the baby’s eyes opened. It yawned and stretched itself. The placenta and blood hanging off its tiny figure made it uncomfortable, as though it were being suffocated, and it began tearing at it with its miniature fingers. After a few moments, it turned itself over onto its stomach and tried crawling. At first it was tough going, but within a minute or two it got the hang of it and began crawling around in small circles, trying to take in the surrounding scenery. Finally noticing the entrance to a sewer, the baby began crawling towards it, not even recognizing where it might lead to, but somehow drawn to it.

On its way, the fetus was suddenly overcome by both an immense sadness and a profound sense of good, all at the same time. It was as though the weight of the world, all the sin and filth and suffering, were put on its shoulders while the strength and glory of God propped it up like Atlas and the Earth. And reaching the mouth of the sewer, the fetus continued crawling until the force of gravity pulled it down to the depths.

Laying on the ground, the baby was greeted by the sniffing of a rat. Suddenly, the tiny little eyes of another fetus were peering down at him. Then another. And another. And another, until the fetus was surrounded by other fetuses. And then one of the aborted spoke. “Welcome. We are the Tribulation Saints, and you are our leader.”