The End Times Are Like a Woman In Labor

Women claim that child birth is excruciating, perhaps the most painful experience a person can go through. Whenever a man complains about a headache or some other ailment to his wife, he often gets something to that effect as a response, which can be very irritating; yet who are we to argue? Personally, I believe that child birth is a beautiful, wonderful experience, because it is a time where a woman is closest to God, performing the role He created for them. As a result, I highly doubt it is painful and probably feels more akin to a crack high; however, women, being wiley and manipulative creatures, have perpetuated this myth that it is painful so their husbands feel sorry for them and are more appreciative of their role in society. Perhaps we do need to be more appreciative of their role and perhaps men often times take women for granted, so I'm not really going to argue about whether or not child birth is painful. If it makes a woman happy to say that it is, then I'll give them that gift.

Pat Robertson recently compared the end times to woman in labor
here.

I 100% agree with this comparison and in more ways than one. The end times' arrival will be marked with great suffering -- earthquakes, hurricanes, famine and disease will rack the earth the way labor pains (supposedly) rack a woman's body during labor. And just as she eventually vaginally poops out a baby, so too will the earth poop out Jesus for the Glorious Appearing. But the similarities do not end there. Before actual labor, during pregnancy, women are gluttons, stuffing their faces until they are fat and disgusting and their husbands don't want to touch them. Leading up to the Appocolypse, mankind experiences a similar phase of gluttony, and God, like a husband sorrowful over his wife's disfigurement, does not wish to touch -- to bless -- us with any type of embrace. But eventually, after the wife turns back into the beautiful woman he married, the husband comes back to the wife, and so too will God come back to us. Pat Robertson is a genius....