Monday, December 19, 2005

The Whipping Room -- A Poem

So the following poem was inspired by two things: 1) the honorable Roy Moore's (very same judge responsible for the abortion poem that inspired my own abortion poetry, as well as the guy who so valiently fought secularism and refused to remove the 10 commandment monument from his court house) new book, where he talks about being spanked with hickory switches and 2) spending time with my younger nieces and nephews, all of whom have been spoiled rotten and are incredibly disobedient.

The Whipping Room

Children, children!
Disobey, disobey
And it’s off to the
Whipping room
You’ll go!

The whipping room,
The whipping room:
One wall of belts and whips,
The other of
hickory switches and sticks!

Children, children!
There are lessons
To be learned;
Learn them not
And it’s off to the
Whipping room
You’ll go!

The whipping room,
The whipping room:
One wall of belts and whips,
The other of
hickory switches and sticks!

Children, children!
Lesson number one:
Speak out of turn
And there you’ll sit,
Alone, in the dark
Surrounded by
Hickory switches and sticks!

In the whipping room,
The whipping room:
Where disobedient children
Learn to repent
And many days are spent!

Children, children!
Lesson number two:
Take the Lord’s
Name in vain
And down comes
A cane!

In the whipping room,
The whipping room:
Where good children
Will learn respect,
And where bad
the Devil will collect!

Children, children!
Lesson number three:
Don’t dare curse,
Or down comes a whip,
And lashes, lashes
To your back and hip!

In the whipping room,
The whipping room:
One chair for
Children to sit --
Sit and wait
To be spanked and hit!

Children, children!
Lesson number four:
For those that fight,
Lashes and canings
For an entire night!

In the whipping room,
The whipping room:
One picture on the wall –
Only the Lord Jesus
Standing tall!

Children, children!
Lesson number five:
When all else fails
The room will crawl
With insects, and
Unrepentant liars
Shall be smothered in spiders!

In the whipping room,
The whipping room:
One wall of belts and whips,
The other of
hickory switches and sticks!


Blogger Dr. JD Parnell said...

Yes! This is a truly inspired solution to the problem of rampant juvenile delinquency! We must have dedicated whipping rooms in all schools, nationwide. They can certainly do without many of the secular arts and science classes. Those classrooms can be converted into whipping rooms. All good Christian homes should also have dedicated whipping rooms. Good and hardy whippings would put the fear of God in our youth so that they can all grow up to be virtuous soldiers of the Lord like Nathaniel and myself! Therefore, christian soldiers, I call upon all of you to set up those whipping rooms, and lets hope you have the sense to use them - that is, unless you can stomach the idea of your children perishing in eternal hellfire!

7:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think u and nathaniel should be put in a whipping room and severely spanked. my mother use to lock me in a closet and whip me with coathangers till i bled. can u honestly say that was a moral way of dealing with the situation

12:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's play a little game here. It's called: "who's going to hell?" What I will do is present two different situations (in this case, both of them will be involving abortion since that seems to be a favored topic on this site) and Nathan can take a stab at deciding whether or not the people go to hell. Sounds like fun doesn't it?

Okay. Senerio 1:
Julie is 17 years old. Her and her boyfriend (Kevin, who is 19) had been dating for just a month when they had sex for the first time. Shortly after they became sexually active, Julie found out she was pregnant. Kevin convinces her to have an abortion. At first she doesn't want to, but she is only 17 and doesn't know what else to do, so finally she gives in to the pressure, and has an abortion.

Senerio 2:

Kim is a 39 year old mother of four. She finds out that she is pregnant again, and is delighted with the thought of having a baby around the house again. However, upon her first visit to the doctor, the doctors notice a problem. Kim has ovarian cancer, the doctors need to opperate in order to save Kim's life, but that would mean loosing the baby. She refuses the procedure thinking that she could hold off until the baby is born to have the opperation. two months later she has grown so weak that she is not only going to loose the life of her unborn child, but her own as well. she can't bare the thought of her other four kids growing up without a mother and so she has the opperation.

So there we go. This should be easy since Nathan has been granted the authority to judge people here on earth. So Nathan, which one, (or both) will go to hell and why?

2:10 PM  
Blogger Nathaniel said...

anonymous -- my name is nathaniel, not nathan. but that is neither here nor there, since i very much appreciate the role playing game you proposed and think it would be a wonderful addition to the site. so i am going to do an entire post answering your question....

4:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are both sick motherfuckers

4:56 PM  
Anonymous Dave said...

is that necessary

12:01 PM  
Anonymous ZAC said...

I agree with Dave. Even though you and Dr. jd Parnell are insane, Sick Motherfuckers was not only unnecessary, but idiotic and downright uneducated.

That poem was disturbing. You are stating that if children don't behave perfectly, they should be whipped. Imagine the world that has these things in many homes. Then imagine the world in about 20 years full of cereal killers that murder those who even by accident say his name in vain. If god exists, (not) he would want us to worship him out of sincerity and happiness, not out of fear and stupidity. If your god was just and loving, he would not want what this poem describes.

Oh and to the question, none of them go to hell because it DOES NOT EXIST.

Why get rid of the arts and sciences? I am in the El Dorado Band which does nothing but entertain people and audiences. Why should that be taken away for child abuse? By the way, the school including the band has A LOT of Christians and those like yourself, some of which are my friends.

3:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This has to be a troll site. It's too ridiculous.

8:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

zac, i completely agree with you. the people on this site are mental cases and they should be sent to the "whipping rooms". how dr. jd parnell is a doctor i'll never understand. they're supposed to help people and be sympathetic towards their problems, not tell them that they are all destined for hell for having sex or abortions or using gods name in vein.

if there is a god, there is no doubt in my mind that he will be sending dr jd parnell and nathaniel to hell. burn in it assholes

8:11 PM  
Anonymous God said...

I just wish all my children would get allong and stop saying horrible things, I will punish all those who think I hate gays and anyone who's different for that matter. So rot in Hell fuckers.

7:18 AM  
Anonymous Paula Spart said...

Salam (peace)
Children should be taught right and wrong and need some kind of "external motivation" (not just the telling them about Heaven and Hell) but given praise, constructive criticism, rewards-and of course punishments.
A version of the "Whipping Room" has been tried in the past-but I don't think it worked 100%. I was a "victim" of it.
Public school personnel used it over 50 years ago-but it was over used on me-and scores of other kids when it was allowed. I had behavioral and emotional problems in school-and I got punished for them.
The principal's office at that school became "The Whipping Room."
People in those days didn't understand "special needs" kids like they do now. I'm 60 years old now and have AD/HD and am now on "The Spectrum" (I'm referring to a mild case of autism-not "Gay Pride.") I needed that understanding. But instead-I got the Whipping Room!
As far as saying whether or not J.D. Parnell, the gay neighbor, or the person who thinks God hates "gays and anyone who's different for that matter," is going to Hell, only God knows who goes to Heaven and who goes to Hell.
I was a Christian most of my life and found out why the day before Good Friday is called "Maundy Thursday." It's a corruption of the Latin mandatus novum vobis "a new commandment unto thee." That refers to Jesus saying to the disciples, "Love one another as I have loved you."
That's our duty is to love each other unconditionally and not hate someone for being LGBTQ, of a different race, ethnicity, religion, etc. And if pray for them.

2:28 AM  

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