What's So Intelligent About Intelligent Design

I'm sorry for not writing in awhile, but in the last week I've been struggling, struggling in a way I've not experienced in the 12 years since I first embraced the Lord Jesus Christ as my savior; and I must say it has been a torturous week with many sleepless nights, and even now I am just regaining my post as a sure-footed Christian Soldier. What possibly could have tested my faith to this degree, to the point where I was no longer sure I was protected by the shield of God's love for His children? Intelligent design.

Now you are probably thinking that this must have something to do with the fact that the sinners of Dover, PA decided to vote out the school board responsible for demanding the fraud that is evolution be taught alongside the much more plausible theory for the origins of life, Intelligent Design. If this is what you were thinking, then you too must have been horrified by the gigantic step backwards our cause took against the secularist evil that plagues the public school system. You too must have taken note of the fact that the recent tragedy in Dover is yet another example of Christ being stripped from our schools at the very time he is needed most, as more and more children are influenced by witchcraft, environmentalism, homosexuality, and outright Satanism.

The thing is, though, is that it was not the election that bothered me, for what my many years on Earth have taught me is that the people of the world are sinners, and there is a great evil that controls them through false ideas and ideals, like Globalization, Democracy, Human Rights, and Diversity; so, really, the election was not a surprise at all (in fact, had the people of the world gotten together and installed a homosexual as President of the World, I would not have been surprised). No, what disturbed me so is the sudden realization that we humans are so imperfect, so sinful, I can't imagine the perfection that is God creating us. That's Intelligent Design's argument, at least, isn't it -- we are just too intricate and perfect to have been created through the forces of evolution; therefore, it must have been God that created us?

But what's so perfect and intricate about us, really? If God wanted to create a perfect being, wouldn't He have given us wings so we could fly? Because we are unable to fly, look at the pollution problems we supposedly face, allegedly killing the Earth because we must drive everywhere in our gigantic cars/trucks. If only we could fly, then it would no longer be necessary to sit in traffic, wasting precious time that would be better spent with our families and church, instead of praising God, cursing Him. Or why even wings? Couldn't He have just given us the ability to instantaneously transport ourselves around the world, thus saving everyone the effort of flight? Forget, even, modes of transportation -- why did He make us so weak and so slow; and why did He require that we speak to one another rather than telecommunicate? Wouldn't this be more efficient?

And then I look at all that we humans have created: we've built flying contraptions; we've designed various drugs that make us stronger, faster; and we've invented devices that can talk to one another without actually speaking. And then there's the future, with its promise of genetic engineering and stem cells, where people will be altered at their most basic level to be stronger, smarter, faster and will live longer, possibly forever. We will have accomplished all of this and God hasn't!!!! Does this mean we're more powerful than God, at least in a way?

But then it occured to me (unfortunately too late to prevent the 7 days of suffering I went through): who am I to decide what is perfect? Who am I even to know why God does whatever it is He does? And then it further occured to me: Intelligent Design is dangerous. Look at the insane, blasphemous ideas it sneekily planted in my brain. It, I think, is the perfect example of what can happen when we question the Bible, when we attempt to disguise its truth to placate the secularlists that have unfortunately been freed from their bonds of wrongness and allowed to dominate our society. We get crazy, dangerous ideas. Even the most kind-hearted, zealous Christian soldiers can be corrupted and tempted down dark, evil paths. And that is why we Christians should give up the fight to teach Intelligent Design in schools and instead fight for what is truly right and what children most need to know to be successful human beings that avoid eternal hellfire: Pure Creationism. And once we have taken our schools back from the secularlists that now control them, we should begin our fight anew and demand mandatory Christian prayer from all of our students. Those that refuse should be put in special classes and ridiculed by their classmates that have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. The special classes will be modeled after the special education classes of today, but rather than teach remedial math or english, these mentally challenged students shall be taught remedial Bible lessons. They will eat lunch separately from the normal students. They will ride in special buses. Their entire lives will be separate from the rest of society, so that they can appreciate the fact that they live in a Christian nation and suffer for their parents' and grandparents' attempts to impose their secular ways on us.