Monday, November 02, 2009

The Poorhouse Part II - The Power of Human Energy

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are currently facing an enery crisis that gets more and more urgent each year. We need to find a way to extract more energy from our currently abundent sources. While fossil fuels, wind solar, biomass, and nuclear all have their rightful place in our nation's and the world's energy portfolio, we have essentially ignored an energy source that we have in abundance everywhere we look. This source of enery is all around us. We see it whenever we walk out onto the street. We see it whenever we turn on the TV. We see it oftentimes when we drive through town. The energy source I am talking about is HUMAN Energy. Yes - Human Energy.

Human Energy - an energy source that can help provide for our energy needs. I was doing some calculations, and I realized that the human body operating at peak physical exertion can produce more than enough energy for several human energy consumers. That is to say, for every single human producer of energy, the peak energy produced by that one human can support several human consumers of energy, assuming the human energy producer is of equal size to or larger than the human energy consumers. Therefore, conservatively, if we were to sequestor one human, and put him to work in a kind of setting where he is forced to drive a machine (i.e., an electrical generator) at a production level requiring his absolute peak physical exertion, than the energy output from that machine (i.e., electrical generator) could easily supply the needs of at least two human consumers. You can hopefully see, now, where I am going with this.

If we are to successfully harness the power of human energy, than we must establish institutions were certain classes of humans are forced to produce the energy that may be consumed by the rest of us. The prisons would be a good starting point. Most prison inmates are physically fit and many are large and physically imposing specimens of humanity. Therefore, they may be easily used by the authorities to drive stationary bikes or treadmills that would, in turn, drive electrical generators that would supply power to the grid. The prisons these days are nothing more than a type of state-run spa and resort, where inamtes get free meals, and can spend their days relaxing in their cells, watching cable TV. They are even given excersize yards where they can work out and lift weights! - where is that energy going?? Nowhere! However the prison population alone would not be sufficient to supply energy for the rest of us.

The real solution lies in establishing poorhouses, as discussed in a previous post. Most of the poor are obese to begin with! Therefore, we must sequestor the poor, and other leaches of society and put them in poorhouses, where they will be forced to drive stationary bikes or treadmills or, better yet, eliptical-type machines with ALL arms and legs, and these machines would, in turn, drive electrical generators that would supply power to the grid! These poor would be supplied with bowls of synthetic gruel, and that would give them the energy to keep working those energy-producing treadmills! That and the fact that many of them are obese to begin with would mean they have plenty of fat to burn off in driving those treadmills. These people will be worked on the treadmills to the point of collapse from exhaustion and driven on the treadmills by whippings. I'm thinking they will be worked on the treadmills a minimum of 16 hours a day. And remember, as discussed in the previous posting on The Poorhouse, they will not be allowed to die! For they will be fed sufficient gruel to keep them running those treadmills up to their maximum capacity! And thus, They will also FINALLY be put to useful work supplying badly needed energy for the rest of society! For more details on the philosphy behind establishing the poorhouses, in general, there is an earlier post on the subject. In any event, we can easily start to address our current energy crises by finally harnessing the power of HUMAN ENERGY!


Anonymous Skeptical said...

You racist piece of trash.
"certain classes of humans...driven on the treadmills by whippings"
How dare you claim to be better than your fellow man. Would you bring back slavery? You know who you sound a lot like? Hitler. A man who killed millions of people he thought lesser than him. I would not be suprised if you are a nazi. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you supposed to "love thy neighbor". You are nothing but an ignorant,racist fool who believes himself to be better than others. Pride is one of your "7 deadly sins". Your extremist filth is nothing but childish banter. It's people with extremist views like you that are bullies in school, murderers, and as evident in the middle east, Terrorists. May your contradictory filth forever rot in your imaginary hell.

2:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

after reading several of your posts, i can honestly say this is one of the funniest websites i have ever seen! This shit is just so hilarious. you're joking right?'re not...`
WELL then i will laugh when you find that it was your religion that had it wrong instead of any of the other religions! I will truly laugh at you when you find your "heaven" to be utter blackness and nothingness. Not that you would be going to heaven anyway...i mean every single point Skeptical made is 100% true. So yeah.rot in your hell!

2:45 AM  
Blogger Dr. JD Parnell said...


Untrue - I am not racist. There was not one racist statement in my post. "Certian classes of humans" refers to class not race. Class is far different from race. People should be compelled to work these treadmills if they are poor and can't support themselves and contribute to society in any other meaningful way. That has nothing to do with race. There is not one racist bone in my body. We have an african-american president who I would wholeheartedly support if only he would pursue policies that fit my fundamentalist Chistian worldview - policies like mandatory Christian prayer in the public schools, mandatory public whippings for blasphemy, and the establishment of the aforementioned poorhouses with energy-generating treadmills for dealing with the poor, among other things. If President Obama would support these policies, then I would be out singing his praises night and day. Therefore, my views have NOTHING to do with race, and have EVERYTHING to do with making the world a better place. And I am quite certain that the Rev., Dr. Martin Luther King, God rest his soul, would most certainly agree with that!!

4:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK this is in response to the whole blog, not just this post. Just thought I'd get that out of the way.

I seriously hope you & nathaniel are submitting these posts from your little padded rooms, because scum like you don't deserve to be in the presence of normal people. You seriously need to be locked up where you can't try to corrupt otherwise constructive members of society with the rubbish that seems to flow from your twisted minds in copious amounts.

Besides, religion is the same thing as government, an arbitrary system with no real merit, just an idea proposed & enforced by one man so that he may control another.

And regarding your article about how non-conformists should be segregated and humiliated, spit on and mocked, "people" like you almost remind me of apes. Something new or revolutionary is introduced into its territory & it doesn't matter whether it's good or bad, it's an intruder & must be dealt with severely. Oh, and while we're discussing your morally reprehensible child discipline techniques, how the hell have you not been arrested for your kiddie electric chair? I mean you are some seriously fucked up individuals. I sincerely hope you don't have children. Now or ever.

I suggest that you stop trying to make a martyr of yourself & denounce your ass-backward ways. Because it's filth like you who are polluting the minds of the world's youth & impeding the advances the human race could make if only it were uninhibited by right-wing nut cases like you.

1:35 AM  
Blogger hoopla said...

My dear sirs -

I should like to congratulate you on your most excellent weblog.

The modest proposals contained herein should, it seems to me, meet with the wholehearted approval of every right-minded person.

I admit I am surprised to see certain negative comments rear their head. Certainly, there is scarcely anything set down here which a simple application of common sense - and a swift (literal!) reading of the Bible - should not confirm as self-evident.

I come to the conclusion that the dissenting voices are in fact Satirical in their intent - intended to lampoon such fainthearts, naysayers & aTheists as can scarcely see the nose before their face.

As for yourselves - I salute your exemplary mildness.

Yours -

Sir Richard Conningtower CBE

9:50 PM  
Blogger Dr. JD Parnell said...

Dear Hoopla,

I dare say, sir, that I am in full and complete concurrence with your assessment! You are one of the vey few commenters to this site that understands and appreciates the absolute necessity of using biblicly mandated Christian values as a foundation for the social and economic governance of american society. The great founding fathers, as well as other late, great leaders such as Abraham Lincoln, FDR, The Rev., Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, and The Rev. Dr. Jerry Fallwell, would demand nothing less! We must call on President Obama to immediately draft legislation mandating that his be the case! For the race baiters out there - if only President Obama would institute policies reflecting my and Nathaniel's views then I would LITERALLY be running about the streets of DC, singing his praises, day and night!!....Day and Night!!!

Hoopla, Thank You Ever So Much, for your good, constructive, and appropriate comment!

Very Truly Yours,
The Reverend, Dr. Jimmy Dean Parnell, Ph.D.

2:46 PM  
Blogger Dr. JD Parnell said...


I would further add, that the appropriateness and correctness of your comment leads me immediately to the conclusion that you are most certainly not among the hellfire bound.

2:52 PM  
Blogger Dywindel said...

I'm a pure Christian and have lived with the heart of the almighty all my life. And when I see blogs like this, promoting religion I just can't be help pray to God that you Stop. Now.

Can you not see how Blind you are? The things you say about other people? they way you contradict yourself? You are not a bad person, no one is bad, but you call science evil?

That doesn't actually make sense. Coherently, that's not a sentence. It's like calling a shoe evil, or a hammer, or a light switch. They can be 'used' for evil, they can be 'used' for good, but they aren't 'evil'. What does that even mean?

What are trying to promote? Because it's not Christianity. It's not atheism, agnosticism, it's not even the Green Party! And if this were black humour it would have been, you know, 'funny'.

Look, do you want me to explain how Christianity works? We are there to make people feel good. When the world turns to terror and all humanity is at stake, we can introduce optimism, whether someone 'chooses' (Note the freedom of choice) to go to hell, heaven or neither. We help people.

You are not Christian. Your ideas aren't scientific. You are not funny.

I know I will regret saying this, but at this moment in particular, God does not care about you.

9:56 AM  
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1:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the only thing that gets me to sleep at night is knowing that racist pricks like yourself are not in charge of running the country. if the world leaders were like you i would surly kill myself.

you and everyone who believes in your fucked up methods of living should rot in hell, if such a thing exists.

btw i'm not a virgin, i'm black and i've lived on the street before and you know what, i don't care what you extremists say i like my life how it is.
at least i don't write a blog influencing many people to see your messed up view on the world.

you fuck wits should save everyone the hassle of killing you and just do it yourself. good riddens. burn in hell you arrogant ass holes.

6:48 PM  
Anonymous Jesus Christ said...

you racist fucks, people are all equal and no one i mean NO ONE should ever be hated on because of their race or religion.
now since you have been very racist you can now go rot in hell, i know satin and he will bum fuck you very hard with his over sized COCK.

9:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this web site, says Jesus loves everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. meaning he loves EVERYONE, he loves Blacks as well i dont think he will be happy to here you guys are being so horrible. >:(
i will be telling him tonight. about this

9:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

homeless people are not fat, they have no money so they cant buy food.

11:57 PM  
Blogger Matthew said...

I can't tell if you're brilliant, or serious.

7:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You disgust me.

7:25 PM  
Anonymous Tim Simms said...

A modest proposal to be sure, Rev. Dr. P. Praise Be!445

2:14 PM  

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