The Jesus Loves Everything Superstore

Those of us that are not taken up to Heaven during the Rapture will be left behind to redeem ourselves in the eyes of the Lord. One of the many miseries we will have to face is the inability to trade without first getting the Mark of the Beast. It is important, then, to act now and establish a network Christian stores that can be taken underground when the Antichrist comes. So I propose that good Christians everywhere unite to start our very own Christian Wal-Mart -- Jesus Loves Everything Superstores. It will be just like Wal-Mart, but instead of Chinese sweatshops, the products will be made right here in the U.S.A.. We can hire only those that receive welfare checks and seek help from their church. We can institute a three times daily mandatory prayer session. Bible study will be offered. Every manager will be a minister, as well. But most importantly, all the profits the stores make can be invested in the underground network and the fight against the Antichrist, in general. When his day finally arrives, we will be incredibly prepared, with hidden warehouses of food and other goods we can circulate among Christians who have seen the light and await the Glorious Appearing. God will be pleased.