Diversity is Evil: Women Should Not Be Lit On Fire (Most of the Time)

It is often said that we should respect other cultures, that diversity is a good thing and the world is one great big Global Community; but this is wrong and will surely bring about the rise of the Antichrist and condemnation by God. People who light the flames under the melting pot and encourage diversity lead the world in a dangerous direction toward the oncoming train that is God's wrath. And I am in no way talking about race, for we -- by we I mean humans, as opposed to trees and animals (I really shouldn't have to point this out, but apparently there are a lot of Pagans that like to read this site, and I would hate for them to get confused)-- are all God's creatures and we are all equal to Him. Jesus, after all, was a black man. People complain about AIDS, about the bird flu and about SARS; but really it is diversity of ideas, of culture that infects us and threatens humanity, for there should be but one idea, one culture -- the idea that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior and died for our sins, and a culture that spends its days and nights toiling in service to the Lord.

You may doubt that I speak of a great danger when I rail against diversity. "As long as I worship correctly and vote for leaders that go to Church, I am on a straight path to Heaven. And anyway, all cultures have a basic morality -- nobody likes murder, everybody thinks stealing is wrong. Sure, those cultures may not believe in Jesus Christ and will end up burning in Hell, but they really aren't a danger to me or anyone, since we all share this basic morality," you think. Well you would be WRONG! Cultures that don't believe in Jesus Christ are, if not inherently evil, then certainly more easily tempted by and led into sin. And here is a perfect example.

I'm sure there are those among us who will be apologists for a culture that encourages families to burn alive their wives and daughter-in-laws for not giving a big enough dowry. "Who are we to judge?" they'll ask. Or they'll sympathize with the admittedly frustrating prospect of having to support a wife in such a poor country. THEY wouldn't burn THEIR wives alive for the small dowry; but this day and age, well, another mouth to feed is stressful on a family. "What we should really be worried about is poverty," they'll complain. Well they too would be WRONG! Poverty is no more than a symptom -- the symptom of sin and turning away from the Lord.

The Lord God did not put women on Earth to give her husband and his family money; He put them here to serve their husbands, bearing him many children and running the household. And in return, the husband must provide for his wife, putting food on the table and a roof over her head. If both are lucky enough, perhaps he may also be able buy her a few nice things, so she may look especially pretty for him when they go to church. A woman who does not bear her husband any children, who does not have dinner waiting for him when he gets home from a hard days work has failed God. Lighting her on fire, of course, is too severe a punishment -- a stern talking to is probably more appropriate, at least for the first few months of marriage. Of course, if a woman fails her husband in other ways, perhaps cheating on him or abusing him in some fashion, well, then, lighting her on fire may not be a sin in the eyes of God (it is, of course, against the law and may kill her, which would be a sin).

The very fact that I feel it is necessary I explain the institution of marriage just shows how much damage our reverence of diversity has caused us. Allowing homosexuals to marry, people wedding animals -- both have been accepted by liberals, all in the name of diversity, and corrupt the institution of marriage as certainly as heathen practice of demanding dowry from wives corrupts it. That is why it is important we fight diversity and the idea of this Global Community, where everyone gets along and accepts and appreciates each other's cultures. Where there is sin, we should fight, we should protest. In later posts I will address how, exactly, this fight should be waged, and hopefully, together, my fellow Christian soldiers, we can make a better a world.

Lesbians are Evil

I've been trying to withhold an opinion on Harriet Miers as a Supreme Court justice, although deep in my heart I knew from the beginning it was a poor idea, given the fact that women are supposed to be homemakers, whose only role outside of child rearing and taking care of their husbands should be in the church. But being the pragmatist that I am, I recognized the politics of the situation and the fact that sin has so corrupted the minds of Western society, it was practically demanded that a woman be appointed to the Supreme Court. Plus, when I looked at her and her combination mullet/poofy hair, I saw a good Texas Christian woman. So I tried to trust our Great President -- a man who speaks to God in order to make the correct decisions, a man who has been born again and accepts Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior -- but the doubt would not go away. And then I read this. In a talk about abortion and separation of church and state, she argued for "self-determination." She's also decried the glass ceiling that women face in the work force and has supported judicial attempts to influence social policy. These are not speaches that a true Christian conservative would ever give!

So what happened? How did our Great President go from being such a good Christian soldier to potentially bankrupting the Supreme Court with years and years more of judicial activism and court supported sin? And I found an answer: Condoleeza Rice. Since her ascendency to Secretary of State, the President has lost touch with his Christian followers. Just who is this woman who has the President's ear, who is able to whisper the sweet, tempting sounds of sin and steer our leader off a righteous path? The unmarried, childless Rice is a lesbian. That, my friends, is all we need to know to recognize it is she who now guides the President. Is it, after all, a coincidence that Harriet Miers is also an unmarried, childless woman? Is it a coincidence that just weeks after the Miers nomination, Sheryl Swoops has come "out of the closet" and announced that she too is a lesbian? Obviously, Rice is attempting to control the rest of the nation with a lesbian cabal and force her extremist views down all of our throats. We MUST PROTEST! Too long have we, the silent Christian majority, allowed our politicians pay lip service to our beliefs, accepting our money and votes but ignoring the causes we care most about. If Miers gets confirmed, we should hold a gigantic cross burning on the White House lawn and storm the halls of Congress. At the very least, we must make our voices heard!!!

A Hymn in Remembrance of the Unborn

A Hymn in Remembrance of the Unborn

Good Morning Christian Families,

I was recently contemplating the ruthless slaughter of countless helpless innocent lives. The lives of which I speak are of course the unborn. As an outlet for my sorrow over this horrible injustice, I wrote a hymn. I would encourage all of you to compose hymns when you have time. Please go here for useful guidance on hymn writing. In remembrance of the countless precious lives that have been ruthlessly snatched away I dedicate this hymn:

I have seen the righteous way,
I have seen this glorious day,
I am cleansed of all my sins,
God in Heaven,
I worship thee,
We happily rejoice,
On this great day,
The Lord hath made.

CHORUS
Holy! Holy! Holy!
Lord, Our God Almighty!
He reigns in heaven,
Forever more!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!

I am no longer afraid,
Godless sinners,
No longer shall you,
Have your way!
Mine eyes have seen
the prophecy,
Cometh in the Rapture
My Soul shall be!

CHORUS
Holy! Holy! Holy!
Lord, Our God Almighty!
He reigns in heaven,
Forever more!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!

Those who seek,
To have their way,
Those who take,
Their selfish day,
Wretched women, selfish ways!
Destroying Life,
They shall face
The judgement day.

CHORUS
Holy! Holy! Holy!
Lord, Our God Almighty!
He reigns in heaven,
Forever more!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!

Little Children silently,
Come with God,
Your souls shall be,
Those who cannot speak,
In the womb they plea!
Silently, Oh how they plea!
Their deafening silence,
In the womb they plea!

CHORUS
Holy! Holy! Holy!
Lord, Our God Almighty!
He reigns in heaven,
Forever more!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!

Precious little lives,
They Hunger to be!
Softly now,
Cometh with the Lord.,
The earthly world,
You shall not see.
In heaven is where,
You’re place shall be!

CHORUS
Holy! Holy! Holy!
Lord, Our God Almighty
He reigns in heaven,
Forever more!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!

Abortion Poem III: The Coffin (a.k.a. Smear)

I wish I believed in the death penalty, because I would invent the Total Birth Abortion and apply it to all involved with the murder that is abortion. In case you were wondering, that was what I was thinking about when I wrote this poem:

The Coffin (a.k.a. Smear)

Mommy, your womb was a coffin;
I could not claw my way out.
My life, my love
sucked through a tube;
I was a smear in a bucket.

Mommy, you were barren,
Emptiness was your everything.
Soulless, heartless,
Your need, your greed were murderers;
They strangled happiness.

Mommy, Jesus loves me:
You suffer, you choke
On my smothered hope.
His wrath is upon you;
Your Hell is on Earth.

Mommy, you gaze up at the night;
I am a crescent moon
Loved, nourished in Heaven's womb.
A child laughs and you will cry;
Guilt is suffocating.

Mommy, enter the bathroom stall
555-Whore written on the wall.
Cut your wrists,
Watch your blood drip:
You are a smear in a bucket.

Mommy, Jesus loves me...

A Traditional Christian Church Hymn

A Traditional Christian Church Hymn

I recently was bemoaning the depravity in the world. When we take a hard look at how far from grace our society has fallen it is easy to become discouraged and disheartened. When we contemplate the sin that dominates the lives of all of those who are not living proper traditional Christian lives it is easy to want to turn our backs and forget about the rest of the world. However, we must not become discouraged. We must continue to fight the good fight! When I start to feel discouraged and disheartened by the sin and depravity in the world it helps for me sing one of my favorite church hymns from the mid-nineteenth century - Nearer, my God, to Thee. It is hymns like this that can help traditional Christian families get through the difficult times. All the Godless sinners can have their secular self-help psycho babble! As true Christians, the only thing we need are the blessings of the lord. By singing hymns like this and giving praise unto the Lord, we can rest assured that the blessings of the Lord will be with us always! Therefore, traditional Christian families: I give you the Hymn - Nearer, my God, to Thee!

Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!
E'en tho' it be a cross
That raiseth me;
Still all my song shall be---
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

CHORUS
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!
E'en tho' it be a cross
That raiseth me;
Still all my song shall be---
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

2.
Tho' like the wanderer,
The sun goes down,
Darkness be over me,
My rest a stone;
Yet in my dreams
I'd be Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

CHORUS
Tho' like the wanderer,
The sun goes down,
Darkness be over me,
My rest a stone;
Yet in my dreams
I'd be Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

3.
There let my way appear,
Steps unto heaven;
All that Thou sendest me,
In mercy given;
Angels to beckon me
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

CHORUS
There let my way appear,
Steps unto heaven;
All that Thou sendest me,
In mercy given;
Angels to beckon me
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

4.
Then with my waking thoughts,
Bright with thy praise,
Out of my stony griefs,
Bethel I'll raise;
So by my woes[?] to be,
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

CHORUS
Then with my waking thoughts,
Bright with thy praise,
Out of my stony griefs,
Bethel I'll raise;
So by my woes[?] to be,
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

5.
And if on joyful wing,
Cleaving the sky,
Sun, moon, and stars forgot,
Upward I fly;
Still all my song shall be---
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

CHORUS
And if on joyful wing,
Cleaving the sky,
Sun, moon, and stars forgot,
Upward I fly;
Still all my song shall be---
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to Thee!

Jesus Was Black, Rosa Parks Is Dead

Rosa Parks, angel of the civil rights movement, has died. The woman was a saint, standing up for rights as an African American in the 50's and refusing in the 90's to be used for evil, disallowing her name to be associated with the filth that is hip hop. It is important that what Rosa Parks stands for is remembered, not, though, because blacks are still slaves or treated as second class citizens, but because Jesus was black. This is important, because every time I see a picture of Jesus, I cringe, noting the way he is painted as some sort of biblical hippie, somebody that this day and age would go around smoking pot and protesting the World Bank or the destruction of the rain force -- in other words somebody engaged in sin and who should be condemned as such, kept in a cage or be-tongued so that he cannot pollute the world with self indulgence. I've heard it argued that it does not matter what Jesus looked like, that the truly important thing is his message; and while I don't disagree that it is his message that counts, that will lead us from eternal hellfire into a an everlasting Heaven, it is also important that our false image of him doesn't lead us to false conclusions or assumptions. Just imagine the satisfaction hippies -- dirty, decadent, sinful hippies -- must get when they look at themselves in the mirror and see the same hair and beard as Jesus. And racists! Racists often comfort themselves with the thought that Jesus was also white, thereby making them superior to other races. Jesus did not look like that! Imagine the look on the faces of these twin girls (the so called "Olsen Twins of the White Nationalist Movemet") if they were to be confronted by the reality that Jesus was black. Perhaps they would not be so proud of their white heritage; perhaps they'd accept that their hatred is evil and repent. If they didn't, then they could be punished, bathed in permanent black ink or tattooed entirely in black. Then they would indentify -- maybe, hopefully -- with the suffering Rosa Parks had to endure.

Don't Gamble With Your Soul

Every time I hear the words “Texas Hold’em” I feel taunted by the God-less liberal media establishment. The way they ruthlessly promote gambling to our youths is emblematic of their constant manipulation and encouragement to gamble with our souls as they sell us sex and violence and enslave our children’s minds in whoredom and filth. How dare they associate the great, God-fearing state of Texas with the corrupting influence of gambling!

"He that hastens to be rich hath an evil eye, and considers not that poverty shall come upon him." Proverbs 28:22. An evil eye – that is exactly what those who engage in games of chance possess. Like an addictive drug winding its way through veins and the synapses of the brain, entangling itself with pleasure centers and choking off self control and will power, gambling takes hold of people and leads them through a gateway of sin and wrongdoing. Decadence invades the gamblers life; and it is with an evil eye that they leer and covet the world around them: women become sex, drugs are food, and houses are seedy motel rooms for a night of sin. And now the temptation is on television, as “Texas Hold’em” tournaments fill the airwaves.

But poverty shall come upon all gamblers. Consider some of America’s more notorious gamblers: Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley, Ben Affleck, and William Bennett. They had it all – wealth and fame – yet where are they now? Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley were once great basketball players, but their insatiable appetite for games of chance has led them to oblivion and irrelevance. Instead of stars they are nothing more than gimpy old men still thirsting for the spotlight. Michael Jordan, a man who was once able to float to the basket was grounded on a losing team, eventually to be fired. And Mr. Barkley – the whole world used to hang on his every word, but now, as he’s been condemned to life of hideous obesity, he talks only to himself. Poor Ben Affleck! Once a movie star, he now only stars in the tabloids. Luckily, God has chosen to bless him with a child; but if he is not careful and continues to gamble with his soul, that child will be born retarded. William Bennett, though, shines most bright as an example of the strength and reach of gambling’s tentacles. He was once a beacon of virtue, a man who guided millions down a path of righteousness. Now, however, he has become so corrupted by the pleasures of Las Vegas, he knows not of what he speaks, spewing forth vile, evil thoughts about abortion and African Americans, thoughts better suited for Hitler. And if this poverty does not discourage those who consider a life of gambling, remember the Hell that awaits in the afterlife.

Something must be done about the spread of gambling and the scourge of “Texas Hold’em.” It threatens to infiltrate the minds of our children the way homosexual agenda and abortion have infested our culture for a generation. Already there have been numerous reports of youths stealing their parent’s credit card to play on-line poker. That is why gambling is a sin that must be punished, punished they way we punish thieves and murderers. Gamblers should be placed on a giant roulette wheel and spun around for seven days. If they continue to gamble then the ante should be upped. They should be forced to play Russian Roulette, for they are, after all, playing it with their soul.

Illegal Immigration A Solution To Environmental Devastation

One of this site's readers recently brought to my attention the impossibility of one of my posts, specifically the eradication of large, useless animals -- animals like gorillas, horses, giraffes and elephants -- that harm the environment by eating its grass and trees and polluting our waters with fecal matter. To reiterate, the extinction of such beasts is absolutely necessary, because according to the enviro-cult and liberal media we, are facing an environmental crisis where we humans are no longer able to drive big cars, clear the rain forests, and pollute the skies, even though God gave us these things to make for ourselves a better life with lots of time for worship and prayer. It's not God's wrath that is causing hurricanes and earthquakes, it's poor mother earth wretching in pain for what we have done to her. Or so they say. Well, I don't really believe a word of it, as I have pure and beautiful faith in my Lord God, that He will provide for us, regardless of the size of car I drive or the fact that I litter rather than recycle. But since the enviro-cult and liberal media have joined forces with activist judges and corrupt politicians and made the environment such an issue, I only think it fair that animals sacrifice the way we must. Thus larger animals that take more than their fair share of the unabundant earth must die. I would also like to add to this list birds, for they poop on our cars, thus requiring us to waste water to clean off their nasty droppings.

But as I was saying, a loyal reader claims my plan is impossible. Something about species depending on each other for survival. Well, first of all I disagree. We have been very successful at killing off many species, and mankind is no worse for wear. But let's assume he's right, that we can't simply drive horses into extinction without some random consequence only the universe can explain befalling us. Then we should get illegal immigrants to perform the same function as horses. And if we rid ourselves of elephants, we get the illegals to do elephant duty as well. It can work for any animal, really. Think about it: the birds are suddenly extinct, so there's no animal to eat insects, thereby causing the insect population to swell. Never fear! We can simply send a team of illegal immigrants to affected areas where they can crawl on their hands and knees and kill thousands upon thousands of insects. If this is not efficient enough, we could invent some sort of device to make the job easier (bug spray is not allowed, because it hurts the environment).

Think of the problems this would solve. No more crowds of illegals hanging outside of 7-11s and Home Depos, infesting good, Christian neighborhoods with their cockroach-like presence, stealing jobs from Americans, leering at our women. There will be plenty of work for everyone, and the environment will be in fine shape. If the illegals don't like the work, then back over the border they go.

I'm sure the liberal media and enviro-cult will still complain, though. These people don't want a solution to their so-called problem, because then what would they complain about? What would give meaning to their life? Perhaps they'd turn to Jesus and find true happiness and contentment, but I doubt it, for these people are too consumed by sin and self-centeredness. In any event, I believe I've found a global solution to a global problem. Now I will be able to sleep at night when I finally kill me a gorilla.

The True Blessings of the Lord

The True Blessings of the Lord

A Very Hardy and Heartfelt Good Morning to All True Christians!!!

Now, at the risk of sounding "old-fashioned" I must say that I believe in only the most traditional Christian family values. In order to return to a time of traditional Christian family values we must purge society of all the new-age, secular psycho-babble. I fondly look back to a time where society consisted of only the most traditional Christian families with values that were both traditional and Christian! Things were simpler back then. People only existed in traditional small-town Christian families, and society was like an old-fashioned small town traditional Christian family church, with values that were both traditional and Christian. Family homes did not have any of the of the "new-age", secular self-help, psycho-babble crap that they have today. Back then, there was only one book - the Bible, and a traditional Christian family home was just like the inside of a Cracker Barrel restaurant! Families were not threatened by the evil secular psycho-babble that permeates our society today.

People back then didn’t sit around in therapy sessions whining about their problems and feelings, and they certainly did not resort to secular psycho-babble to justify their failures. People turned to God to get through the tough times. And yes, when necessary a good deal of good old-fashioned hard work, as well! People back then knew the value of a good old-fashioned honest-to-God hard day’s work! Keep in mind, there’s a difference between thinking and working. Back then people didn’t think. They picked up their tools and went to work! And they trusted in the good Lord to provide, and Provide He Did! Now, I’m talking REAL traditional Christian provisions: Things like biscuits and gravy, corn bread, milk, butter, bacon, eggs, lard and Ham Sandwich, roast turkey and dressing, country style pork ribs, potatoes, and collard greens. These provisions represented the TRUE blessings of the Lord!!! They could always be counted on to get us through the worst of times. Ah yes, those were truly times that we must strive for again, with the divine providence of the Lord on our side!!! Now what do we have??!! Sushi, curry, seaweed, thai, pesto, panini, vegetarian, disgusting herbs, grains and twigs, and various other disgusting un-American concoctions. These things all symbolize the extent to which we have fallen from Grace. Who is to blame for these things? The disgusting psycho-babblers and the filthy tree-hugging hippies, that’s who! Back then, our honest-to-God hard work and faith in God were all we needed. All people want to do now is hug trees, while eating grains and twigs or sit around all day in "new-age" therapy sessions eating Sushi and talking about feelings. Woe is me! Oh woe is me!!! How very far from grace society has fallen. But we will not loose heart! We will continue our fight against the secular ways of the world as Soldiers of the Lord!!! Onward Christian Soldiers! Onward!!!

Submission to the Will of God

Submission to the Will of God

A Very Hardy and Heartfelt Good Morning to All True Christians!!!

Christian Families - We are continuously faced with problems and difficult decisions every day. Our problems may seem difficult, and our decisions may seem to require a great deal of thought. It may seem like there is no easy answer, or any clear cut choice between right and wrong, good and evil, etc. In short, things may not always seem to be black and white. It may SEEM this way, or APPEAR to be this way. But does this really and truly reflect the righteous reality of things?? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!

Granted, there are those so-called "Christian" Families who ARE struggling with difficult decisions and problems who might insist that there are not always clear-cut answers, that the line between right and the wrong is not always well defined, that things aren’t always black and white, that there may be a grey area, where the boundary between good and evil is fuzzy. These same people would insist on the need for thoughtful compromise when it comes to making these decisions or dealing with life’s problems. My message to these people - REPENT NOW!!! Get Down on your hands and knees and BEG for Forgiveness! There is still a chance for your redemption! And the only chance you have is to STOP THINKING, TRUST IN THE LORD, SUBMIT TO THE LORD!!! Human thought and intelligent reasoning represents original sin. Human thought and intelligence is an abomination!! For it was because of our thinking and intellect that the human race discovered sin, and we have been doomed ever since!

People who have problems and difficulties in life experience these things because they are not in God’s favor. They refuse to submit to the Lord, and refusing to submit to the Lord is every bit as abominable as an outright rebellion against the Lord. They feel that they can solve their problems through thinking, reasoning, and "talking to others" about them in a secular way. Talking to others about your problems and feelings is a grave sin, particularly for men!!! Real Christians do not talk about their feelings! They shut up, smile, and cheerfully get on with their lives, while constantly giving Praise unto the Lord!!! Those who need to talk and seek counseling and therapy are inherently weak because they refuse to submit to the Lord! They curse the Lord for their problems, and the Lord sees fit to punish them for their treason! Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues represent divine retribution for turning away from the Lord and attempting to get by and get ahead through thinking and intelligent reasoning. Those who suffer these afflictions are depraved, inherently wicked, morally sick wretches who will almost certainly continue on their paths toward eternal damnation by rejecting the Lord and attempting to solve their problems through "Counseling" and "Therapy Sessions".

I realize this may sound somewhat harsh, but I only see the world in black and white. Those who do not see the world this way are an abomination to the lord, and sooner or later their treasonous lives will catch up with them. Remember This! There is no middle ground between good and evil, God and Satan, Heaven and Hell. There is no room for compromise. Compromise is an abomination to the eyes of God. Compromise - is absolute TREASON in the high court of Heaven!

Abortion Poem II: Scab

The poem below is something I wrote that wasn't inspired by anything in particular other than the fact that abortion is murder and occurs every day in this country. Hopefully, Harriot Miers is the evangelical Christian our great President has made her out to be and will overturn Roe v. Wade. Anyway, the poem:

Scab

Hush child,
Your heart beats,
But your mother will make it stop.

Hush child,
You’ll never have a chance to cry,
Because your mother wants...

Hush child,
You’ll never have a chance to breathe,
Because your mother can...

Hush child,
You’ll never have a chance to see the light
Because your mother doesn’t...

Hush child,
You are nothing more than
A scab.

A scab
Your mother picks
Because your mother wants
Because your mother can
Because your mother doesn’t.

Your mother wants you to die
Your mother can only seethe
Your mother doesn’t want you to breathe.

You are just another scab
Your mother picks
Until there is nothing left.

Hush child,
Hush child,
Hush child,
Hush.

Everything Big Is Evil

God gave us this earth, just as He gave us our bodies, our souls... His son. But the dirty hippies and their cohorts, the liberal media, have created an environmental cult to deprive us of what is rightfully ours. I love nothing better than to take my giant SUV off the beaten path, through the forest, up mountains, crushing the earth beneath my tires, crushing insects, squirrels, possums, and casts; and if a dear gets in my way I roll over it too, my tires sucking it under a car like a vacuum cleaner sucks dust.

Hurricanes -- the result of global warming, THEY tell us. Well, I tell them: no, there is no such thing; hurricanes are but just one arrow in the quiver of God's wrath. Hurricanes aren't the spawn of global warming, but heat, I assure you -- a heat more raging than the warm breeze THEY claim is responsible for so much destruction -- is involved. It's the heat of Satan corrupting our hearts and souls with sin, spreading his filth through homosexuality, pornography, and earth-worship.

But I get berated for my SUV, for my use of the things God has given us. It contributes to the destruction of the environment, I'm told. I'm the cause of global warming! But what about the things the enviro-cult worships? Trees, animals, water. I don't really care about trees and water, for they are inanimate and provide for us; but what about animals? What do they provide? Meat? The enviro-cult even complains about that. We should eat nothing but sprouts and carrots, they say. And regardless of whether or not we listen to the enviro-cult, very few of the animals even provide that.

Animals take and take, eating our grass, polluting our rivers with their excrement. If something needs to be done about us, about our use of the Earth that God has given us, something needs to be done about them. We should, I think, take the biggest and therefore most useless and destructive of the animals and put them to use or kill them. Elephants are gigantic and slothful, so they should be killed for their ivory. Giraffes? I'm not sure they're good for anything at all, so good riddance. And horses? Maybe a hundred years ago, before cars, they were a necessity, but now they are good only for glue. And they're hideous. They look not unlike big pieces of poop and smell worse. I would gladly drive them to extinction. But of all the creatures doing the most harm to us and our Earth, monkeys are probably the most dangerous. It is through them that "scientists" -- atheists -- corrupt our understanding of where we came from and our appreciation of the Bible as literal truth. I know it sounds harsh, but apparently the Earth faces a crisis. It's resources are being abused and used, such that future generations have nothing left. This being the case, I think I'll go kill me a gorilla.

Oh Ciaran, Your Arrogance Makes Me Weep

Oh Lord, below is a comment I got to my post "The End Times are Like a Woman In Labor." As you read it, notice how Ciaran seethes with arrogance. He's going to "school me," he says. And then he proceeds to trash my religious beliefs, judging me, as though he is the Lord, himself. Read his comment carefully, though. Notice how he twists my words, and notice how he simply misunderstands them.

"aaahhhhh.... well Nathaniel you're forcing me to do it, I’m going to now have to school you in what appears to be focal point in your sad, misguided life. But before I start don’t get me wrong at least your eyes are on the right guy. Now class is in session. First of all "and so too will God come back to us" God doesn't turn to us. Its our job to turn to god. Your going to want to remember that point it's going to be on the test later. If we ask for help god will come get us in the darkness but not unless we turn to him first... wait ... sorry who am I to say what gods gonna do .... that would make me sound like you. You think Jesus only started to learn the word at age 12? Man cmon ... that’s one part of the bible where you hear that he is gifted when it comes to this stuff and why shouldn't he be, he is the son of god... "Therefore, Traditional Christian Families, it is imperative, for the sake your children’s immortal souls that you use only the strictest, most severe, and most harsh physical means imaginable to correct your children when they start to exhibit any sinful nature, and in particular when they start to question authority" Now let me ask you something was Jesus displaying a sinful nature when he went off and didn’t let his parents know what was up? Somehow I don't think so... I'm guessing his parents forgave him, he apologized for the misunderstanding and he was subject to them, not Joseph beat him with a stick and he didn’t question authority again till he was 30. Which brings me to a good point... most of what Jesus did in his time was by most peoples of the time opinion questioning authority. What do you have to say to that? You know what I probably don't care what you have to say to that. It's probably just more mindless drivel. Now to my mind being corrupted by sin... you know what it's not just my mind it's every inch of me. But that’s not the reason that your not getting through to me... you're not getting through to me because your message is EVIL....... and I put on the amour of the lord to protect me from crap like this. But here’s the thing this site is good.... its good for you.... it's good because you can go back and look at all the stuff you've said and then hopefully you can do some serious soul searching and think ... would Jesus actually be saying this type of stuff and then between you and him be it .... god doesn't love...... god is love... that’s it ...he is love... so how can something that is pure love becoming out with this... it's simple... he wouldn't.... "

Point 1:
Ciaran accuses me of representing that it is not we that must turn to God, but God who comes to us. Well, sure, if you read half of the sentence that is what I say; however, read the phrase in context:

But eventually, after the wife turns back into the beautiful woman he married, the husband comes back to the wife, and so too will God come back to us

If you read and UNDERSTAND the entire quote, I am basically saying that, like a wife who must exercise and eat right and take care of herself, such that her husband will again find her attractive, we must exercise our faith, eat the words of the Lord, and take care to walk a path of righteousness, before God will come back to us. And what exactly does this mean? That once we turn to Him, He will come back. Now maybe I added an extra step. God is God afterall, so He doesn't literally need to walk over and give us a great big hug; it'll be more along the lines of an instantaneous transport device and God will suddenly bless the Earth with his glory save us from the end times. Of course this is pure speculation; I really have no idea what it'll be like, only that it will be glorious.

Point II
Ciaran then goes on to criticize something said in another post, "The Importance of Harsh Physical Discipline." (Note:I did not write that post; it was brother in Christ Dr. Parnell). I find his problem, however, somewhat offensive. Because Jesus was not beaten or spanked for running off as a child, for some reason we're not supposed to physically punish our children? Does Ciaran not realize that Jesus was the Son of God? He ran off because he had good reason to; but when our children disobey, it is out of pure insolence and disrespect for authority. Of course I am entirely generalizing; maybe there's a child out there who is also a son of God and also has good reason to disobey his or her father or mother. Hopefully, however, God will have let the boy's parents in on this fact -- perhaps via virgin birth -- so they too will know not to beat the child. Ciaran follows this train of logic to propose that, because Jesus questioned authority, children too should be able to question authority. Again, this is offensive. I would say it's the exact opposite: it's because he questioned authority that children should not. They -- WE -- are not Jesus, so attempting to mimic every part of his life is futile and ultimatily dangerous. Allowing children to question authority will lead only to their having a God complex. And I think that is the heart of Ciaran's problem: he has a God complex.

Point III
Elsewhere in his comment, Ciaran further proposes that when I address the world's problems I think of what Jesus would say. This, to a point, of course, is good advice. Jesus' love and compassion for us is unsurpassed, and the world needs more love and compassion in it. But the fatal flaw in this argument is that if a man were to cut Jesus, Jesus would love him; if the man were to then punch him, love would still abound; and on and on it would continue, and Jesus would be filled with love. And Jesus, son of God, can do that; and he was meant to do that, as an example of God's love for us. But we are not Jesus or God; if we allow someone to cut us and continue to beat us, the world would collapse into chaos.

Conclusion
I feel the need to respond to Ciaran not because I am angry at his words, but because they make me want to weep. They are representative of a much larger problem that afflicts the Christian community, as well as the nation as a whole. They are so arrogant, so sure that they can walk the path Jesus himself walked, they are willing to allow this nation -- the world, even -- to be overrun with un-Godliness for the sake of love and compassion. Abortionists infiltrate their neighborhoods: judge not lest ye be judged. Homosexuals marry in their churches: Jesus loves even sinners. Murderers and thieves steal: Jesus loves them; therefore, we can do no more than slap them on the wrist. God, Himself, did not behave as Calian suggests. Remember, for example, He commanded Moses to conquer the Midianites; and once that battle was won, all the males, including children, were slain, as were the women who had known a man by lying with him. By Ciaran's standards, God is evil, which, I think, tells us all we need to know about him and his ideas...

A Message to Families: The Importance of Harsh Physical Discipline

Greetings to all the Traditional Christian Families out there!

I trust, for your sake, that you continue to lead lives in accordance with only the strictest interpretations of God’s Word!!

For those families that are not BOTH Traditional and Christian, I can only continue to pray that one day you will come to realize that your very existence is an offence to the Lord!!! Remember: There is still a chance for you to turn away from your wicked and sinful ways! And until you do so, the only thing that stands in the way of your eternal destruction is your tenuous connection to this world.

Today’s message is directed at the first group of families - the Traditional Christian Families with Traditional Christian Family Values and Beliefs. I will get right down to it: I am deeply concerned that many of you are not, in fact, living your lives in accordance with only the strictest interpretations of God’s Word. I have a very good reason for this concern: Your children. Your children are all disgusting, impudent, rebellious, disrespectful, selfish, ill-mannered creatures. They have no respect for adult authority and no respect for the authority of God! This applies to ALL children; there are NO exceptions! Furthermore, these evil characteristics only become worse with the age of the child. The most ungodly children, who are the most susceptible to the evil ways of the world are the teenagers, whereas the youngest children, the unborn, are not susceptible to these evil influences. The very youngest children are the unborn babies, and these children are still looked upon favorably by God because they are without sin. For that reason the value of the life of an unborn child far exceeds the value of the lives of any other child (or any other person) living outside of the womb. However, that’s a digression from the primary purpose of this message.

The problem with children (specifically children that are already born) is they are influenced by the world and the world is influenced by the Prince of Darkness. Therefore children are influenced by evil, and therefore, if left unchecked by harsh and severe and righteous parental authority, children will quickly become evil, and they are doomed. Do you think that God would not be willing to send a child to hell?? THINK AGAIN!!! Any child whose life comes to an unexpected close, and who has not grown up in a strict traditional Christian family environment, or who has ignored the teachings of his parents (even though his parents may be true Christians), surely is burning in eternal hellfire as we speak! - And it is well that he should!! For the judgement of the LORD is righteous and just! Therefore, Traditional Christian Families, it is imperative, for the sake your children’s immortal souls that you use only the strictest, most severe, and most harsh physical means imaginable to correct your children when they start to exhibit any sinful nature, and in particular when they start to question authority. This also includes the formation of independent thoughts, which are by their very nature, evil. That is all for now. We will elaborate further on this topic in our next message.

Good day to you all, and may blessing of the LORD be with all of God’s children!

Abortion Poem -- The Scraping

So I was reading up on the honorable Judge Moore, the Judge in Alabama who fought the power of activist judges and refused to remove his monument to the 10 commandments from his courtroom. During my reading, I came across this poem he wrote about abortion, and it inspired me to write my own, below:

Her belly is bursting,
and Satan is thirsting,
To the doctor she goes
for a scraping.

A scraping
A scraping
The fetus'
head is gaping.

Up on a wall,
symbol of our fall,
are babies in a jar,
products of a scraping.

A scraping
A scraping
The fetus'
head is gaping.

Imagine Jesus' sorrow
and pray for tomorrow,
that He withholds His wrath
for all of our scraping.

Our scraping
Our scraping
The fetuses'
heads are gaping.

A Message to All the Teens: It is NOT COOL to FRY in Hell

A Message to All the Teens:
It is NOT COOL to FRY in HELL

Greetings Fellow Christian Soldiers!!!
A Most Hearty and Heartfelt Good Morning to All of Gods Children!

I am The Reverend, Dr. James "Jimmy" Dean Parnell, and this is a message for all of you teens out there. Before we proceed any further, I want to point out that as a sign of respect, I expect you to address me as "Sir", "Reverend", or "Dr. Parnell". You will always include my credentials in front of my name and you absolutely WILL NOT address me by my Christian name!!! If you violate these requirements it is my expectation that you will be severely corrected, and if there is no willing adult to correct you than surely God will see to it!!!

Well now, what a time to be a teen!!! Or more appropriately, in language that your unholy godless generation can understand: What an "Xtreme" time to be an "Xtreme Teen"!!! These are certainly historically important and "Xtreme" times that we live in. Now, I want all of you teens to know that I can communicate on your level. I think I understand how you youngsters think and feel about things, as well as the things that you consider important and hold dear. Do I agree or sympathize with you on these things? MOST CERTAINLY NOT!!! But, God willing, I will attempt to understand it, difficult as it may be.

Now, these are the "totally Xtreme" things that you teens consider most important and hold dear: (1) Xtreme Sports - You teens seem to interact and seek out entertainment through a system of so called Xtreme sports - Skateboarding, Snowboarding, Surfing, Bungy Jumping, Rock Climbing, and so forth. Instead of going to church and studying the bible you are engaging in this nonsense, and God does not approve!!! (2) "Alternative Rock and Roll" or this so called "Hip Hop" - I never did approve of Rock music, but this new "alternative Rock" is far worse! "Hip Hop" music is even worse than that! When I was a young man, all music that was not a mid-nineteenth century church hymn was considered an instrument of the devil! (3) Xtreme Dance Moves - I understand that you Xtreme teens are going to your school sponsored dances, and other dance clubs and practicing new, even more obscene gyrations on the dance floor! This form of Xtreme Dance leads directly to obscene adulterous sexual activity, and you are violating no. 7 of the 10 Commandments!!! Surely, any form of activity that encourages perverse movements and thoughts and leads one down the path of sin is one of the many tools that Satan will attempt to use against us.

Now Teens, listen carefully! Unrepentant sinners who continue down their destructive path will surely suffer the wages of their sins, and the wages of sin is DEATH. Death in this context means everlasting destruction or damnation. If you teens continue on your immoral path you will spend eternity in HELL. You teens might think you are "totally Xtreme" in this life, but in the next life you are in for one terrible surprise. To find out about what hell is like, please read the passage written at the beginning. I would only like to add that the punishment of hell is eternal, meaning that it goes on forever and ever and ever. You will feel nothing but unimaginable pain and unendurable agony for all of eternity. So you so called "Xtreme Cool" teens can surely see that is is NOT COOL to FRY in HELL.

Good day to all of you, and may the Blessings of the Lord be with all of God’s children!

The End Times Are Like a Woman In Labor

Women claim that child birth is excruciating, perhaps the most painful experience a person can go through. Whenever a man complains about a headache or some other ailment to his wife, he often gets something to that effect as a response, which can be very irritating; yet who are we to argue? Personally, I believe that child birth is a beautiful, wonderful experience, because it is a time where a woman is closest to God, performing the role He created for them. As a result, I highly doubt it is painful and probably feels more akin to a crack high; however, women, being wiley and manipulative creatures, have perpetuated this myth that it is painful so their husbands feel sorry for them and are more appreciative of their role in society. Perhaps we do need to be more appreciative of their role and perhaps men often times take women for granted, so I'm not really going to argue about whether or not child birth is painful. If it makes a woman happy to say that it is, then I'll give them that gift.

Pat Robertson recently compared the end times to woman in labor
here.

I 100% agree with this comparison and in more ways than one. The end times' arrival will be marked with great suffering -- earthquakes, hurricanes, famine and disease will rack the earth the way labor pains (supposedly) rack a woman's body during labor. And just as she eventually vaginally poops out a baby, so too will the earth poop out Jesus for the Glorious Appearing. But the similarities do not end there. Before actual labor, during pregnancy, women are gluttons, stuffing their faces until they are fat and disgusting and their husbands don't want to touch them. Leading up to the Appocolypse, mankind experiences a similar phase of gluttony, and God, like a husband sorrowful over his wife's disfigurement, does not wish to touch -- to bless -- us with any type of embrace. But eventually, after the wife turns back into the beautiful woman he married, the husband comes back to the wife, and so too will God come back to us. Pat Robertson is a genius....

The Death Penalty Is Evil

Are we God? Sometimes I have to wonder if that's who we think we are. For who other than God is qualified to take the life of men? As it is written in Samuel 2:6: "The LORD killeth, and maketh alive, he bringeth down to the grave, and bringeth up." Yet we continue to assume the role of God by allowing the death penalty. I recognize that criminals are sinners and that some are even evil, committing heinous acts that must be punished, just as I recognize a family's desire for retribution when a loved one has been murdered. But thou shalt not kill.

So what should we do when a criminal has committed an act worthy of death? Jail, even assuming a life time of rape at the hands of other prisoners, certainly isn't enough for murderers. And it certainly hasn't prevented murder or any other crime. Murder and crime rates are a thousand times worse than a century ago, when America was a church-going nation and glory was given to God in schools, courts, and culture. Today, God has been ripped from schools, torn from the walls and floors of courts, and made a mockery of in culture. Listen to a rap record and you will hear the glorification of jail and crime, not glorification of the Lord. Such filth should be banned and burned, as should any type of music that rebels against the principles of the Ten Commandments. But placing God in His rightful place -- at the forefront of everything we do, watch, and listen to in life -- is just a beginning, because temptation and sin will always exist, as surely as Satan battles for our souls from Hell. To complete the transformation of our society and deter murder and all crime, we also need a new type of punishment, one not so offensive to God as the bringer of life and death, but that is a glorification of Him and His righteousness. Like in the Old Testament, where He would massacre a town or family for turning away from Him, we need to be equally harsh and righteous. Creative ways of torture and public humiliation would be a perfect way to accomplish this. For murderers, we should amputate legs and arms and sew them back wrong. Where once there was an arm there will be a leg, and a leg an arm. Rapists and child molesters will have their penises cut off and attached to their foreheads. Other crimes will be punished in a less severe, but similarly effective manner. Thieves can have their hands melted together with tar. Drug users will be forced to smoke various poisonous chemicals that burn their lungs until they are permanently scarred. Adulterers, on the other hand, will be placed naked in a glass box that is then placed in the desert where they can sit and cook for a day or two.

This, however, is not enough. Jail is not an effective means of punishment because it is merely a place where criminals are hidden from the public and given an opportunity to forget about the crimes they have committed. The criminal is not taught humility or pain in jail. It is important, then, we correct this by making all punishment available for public viewing. Television cameras should be allowed. Each town should also build public squares where the punishment for its criminals can be given in a more personal, intimate setting. Right next to the square, a church should be built, so the town's worshippers on their way to church can walk by and contemplate the fact that Hell is a thousand times worse than any such punishment.

When a punishment has been carried out, the criminal shall be cast back out into society as a freak. People may laugh at him, feel for him, pray for him, or completely ignore him; but what all will have in common is fear -- fear of sin, crime, and God.

You know the atheist, Christian-hating human rights activists will complain about this new world order. These are the very same people, however, that commit abortion, think it's fine that homosexuals tempt our children to their decadent, sinful lifestyle, and have driven religion from schools and courts. And I say to them how are criminals even human? They have turned from God; they have attacked humanity and stolen the rights of others, such that if the world were left to them, we'd be no better than animals. Letting this happen would do God a great injustice.

Traditional Christian Family Church Values

Hello There!!
A very JOYOUS and HEARTFELT GOOD MORNING to ALL of GOD’S CHILDREN!!

The purpose of this letter is to introduce myself to all of you: I am the Reverend Dr. James "Jimmy" Dean Parnell, and I am the Founder, President, Chairman, CEO, Executive Vice President, and Executive Director of Traditional Fundamentalist Conservative Christian Family Affairs for the grassroots conservative Christian action group, "Traditional Christian Family Church Values Conservatives of America."

For the adults out there, please feel free to call me "Dr. Jimmy Dean Parnell" or "Dr. J.D. Parnell", but PLEASE!!!, ALWAYS include the title of "Dr." (or even better, "The Rev. Dr.") in front of my name!! For I speak for the Lord our God, and because all men are NOT equal in the eyes of the lord, I expect that when you address me, my Christian credentials are afforded the appropriate RESPECT!!!

Now as for you youngsters out there, I fully expect that you NOT include my Christian name when you address me!!! If we take a look back in time to the olden times - where our society was more simple and defined by traditional Christian family values, we realize children NEVER addressed their elders by their Christian name! Yes, I must say that those truly were times that we must strive for again, with the divine Providence of the Lord on our side!! Therefore, Young Children, Pay attention NOW!!!!: If you are in my presence, you will address me only by one of the following four titles: (1) "Sir", (2) Reverend, (3) Reverend Parnell, or (4) The Reverend, Dr. Parnell. Under no circumstances will you include my Christian name between my title and my last name!!! If you deviate from this protocol in my presence you will be severely corrected for your disrespect! If you are not in my presence and there is no willing adult to correct you, then surely God will see to it!

Well, I certainly think that was a very appropriate and thoughtful introduction, and I certainly hope that you fully agree with my accessment!!! I look forward to writing in the future about my conservative Christian action group, "Traditional Christian Family Church Values Conservatives of America" (TCFCVCA) - For it is through the divine providence of the Lord that TCFCVCA will bring our nation back to a time of traditional Christian family values and beliefs!!
Good day to all of you, and may God’s Blessings be upon all of God’s children!!!

The Reverend, Dr. James "Jimmy" Dean Parnell

Exclusively Christian Public Schools

There must be daily mandatory Christian prayer in the public schools. There will be the daily mandatory Lord’s prayer in the morning, prior to the start of the day’s lessons. There will then be a mid-day prayer giving thanks unto the lord for the blessings of the mid-day meal that the children shall receive. This prayer will be conducted immediately prior to the start of the mid-day school meal. Children shall receive their daily lessons, pursuant to the strictest interpretations of the Bible. There will be a policy of zero tolerance for the questioning of one’s teachings, as this may well rise to the level of willful and premeditated blaspheme. The expression of independent thought or philosophy will not be tolerated under any circumstances. Laughing, joking, games of chance, speaking out of turn, stepping out of line, sleeping, slouching, horseplay, shenanigans, and all other forms of tomfoolery are strictly prohibited both in the schoolhouse and out on the schoolyard, and are not to be tolerated under any circumstances. The children shall receive 15 minutes of recess immediately following the mid-day meal, where they will be strictly marched out onto and around the schoolyard. During the recess and at all other times when not seated in class, children will be expected to step in line. When seated in the classroom, children shall maintain the appropriate posture. Slouching will not be tolerated under any circumstances. School elders, including teachers, administrators and headmaster, shall be addressed by the title of "sir" or "ma’am". When addressing a school elder, the child shall be required to stand up straight, with arms behind the back and head slightly bowed. Eye contact is absolutely prohibited. The enforcement of rules and discipline will be conducted through the use of hickory sticks and woodshed visits, and any child who receives a whipping at school can expect to receive another when he or she arrives home. Any child expressing an independent thought or questioning school teachings will be publicly sanctioned and corrected through the use the hickory rod by the headmaster on a stage in front of the entire school.

No Fear of God = Death

The reason these recent tragedies are occuring is that there is no fear of God in the land. We must bring back the fear of God into our land, for lo these may well be the final days where we bear witness to the end of times, where the seven bowels of God's wrath are poured over the earth and the final and everlasting judgement in the form of everlasting damnation is metted out upon the vast majority of the earth's inhabitant's for turning away from God, and following the legions of darkness.

Hell is a huge deterrent. If one has the knowledge that there is an eternal place of punishment for people who commit acts of depravity, they would be much less likely to do it. Unfortunately, our supreme court - in its arrogance - has determined that this fact can no longer be taught. The result?? We have taken God and the bible out of the schools, and alas, there is no longer christian prayer in the schools.

Today, prayer in school - or should I say "moment of silence" - is before many state legislatures. The problem is, we try to be all things to all people. I submit that prayer in school should be mandatory, and more than that - Christian prayer. The question we always get when prayer in school is mentioned is, "Well what if a person is an atheist, or a Moslem, or Hindu?" My answer? Tough!! Bare it!!! This nation was founded on Christian principles and the Word of God. It was Jesus Christ who died on the Cross for our sins - not Mohammed. What has living under the atheist’s religion brought us in the last 30 years? Selfishness, irresponsibility, sodomy, rampant drug use, and 40 million dead babies. Quite a legacy, eh? What did living under Christian principles for the first 180+ years do for this nation? It raised it to the status of the greatest nation on the earth. We had favor with God at that time. We didn’t need cops in schools. Kids were not killing each other the way they are today. The kids had hope back then. Human life had worth. God was to be reverenced.

Some might say I live in a dream world. Well maybe so, but I see everything in black and white. Let’s be bold and throw out this "moment of silence" nonsense, and say what we really mean - Mandatory Christian prayer in school!!!!! The heathen will rage, of course, but they always have and always will. Let’s stop worrying about what THEY will say, and be more concerned for what GOD says! Whatever it is THEY say does not matter: They are doomed - to eternally burn in the Lake of Fire, where they shall be tortured day and night, forever and ever....

Science Is Evil

I ask you, when you look around our towns and our cities, when you watch tv and go to movies, what do you see? Pornography! It's everywhere, infesting our public squares with scantily clad, whore-like Jezebells that tempt our sons and daughters into sin. IT didn't used to be this way. Our children weren't robbed of their innocence by slickly (and slimly)produced television shows, music videos, and advertisements beating down on them as surely as the sun beats down on sunbathers at the beach. Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson -- they gyrate and flaunt their breasts, practically throwing them in our faces so that we can't even look away. And this dilemma -- this tragedy -- is even manifesting itself in our childrens' physical appearance, as girls are growing breasts and menstruating at younger and younger ages.

What happened? How did we go from a small town country, where we waived to each other on the street, worshipped together, and didn't have to worry about our children being led into sin, into this cesspool? I think I've found the answer, and it lays in our daughters' breasts. Science. It's science that's been mutating our children, as we pump hormones and chemicals into our cattle and poison the nation's food supply. And it's science that brought us television and movies to warp our children's' minds with pornography, science that has created a veritable bazaar of abortion to feed the Godless' appetite for stem cells. And it will be science that creates the first cloned human being. Science, therefore, is evil.

So what do we do? Surely this nation can't live without science, doubters will undoubtedly say. But we can. Look at the state of America's economy today. We've been outsourcing so many jobs to India and China, why wouldn't it be possible to give them all of our science jobs. They are heathens and will always be heathens, so let them be tempted by the sin that will surely follow. Instead of biotechnology and computer science, we can focus on Jesus Loves Everything Superstores, reforming our economy so it's better prepared for the end times. Then we will no longer need to teach science in schools, thus depriving our children of the seeds of doubt in the power of our Lord, that He created the world in six days, and that we did not descend from apes. Instead of science, our children can be taught the Bible and how to respect authority; and when they get a little older, we can add instruction on how to be a better Jesus Loves Everything Superstore Employee, so that when they are ready to be sent off to work, they will be the best employees the world has ever seen.

The Jesus Loves Everything Superstore

Those of us that are not taken up to Heaven during the Rapture will be left behind to redeem ourselves in the eyes of the Lord. One of the many miseries we will have to face is the inability to trade without first getting the Mark of the Beast. It is important, then, to act now and establish a network Christian stores that can be taken underground when the Antichrist comes. So I propose that good Christians everywhere unite to start our very own Christian Wal-Mart -- Jesus Loves Everything Superstores. It will be just like Wal-Mart, but instead of Chinese sweatshops, the products will be made right here in the U.S.A.. We can hire only those that receive welfare checks and seek help from their church. We can institute a three times daily mandatory prayer session. Bible study will be offered. Every manager will be a minister, as well. But most importantly, all the profits the stores make can be invested in the underground network and the fight against the Antichrist, in general. When his day finally arrives, we will be incredibly prepared, with hidden warehouses of food and other goods we can circulate among Christians who have seen the light and await the Glorious Appearing. God will be pleased.

Hurricanes and Earthquakes -- God's Wrath

These are perilous times. People would rather worship trees than the Lord. Instead of Church, our youths go to protests over the environment. The environment! God gave us the Earth to be our toolbox, to feed and clothe ourselves, to make a life where must worship Him. As long as we are faithful, He will provide and so too will the Earth. But we have not been faithful. We have taken His gift to us and worshipped it instead. Our trust has not been in the Lord. We have allowed Satan to work through the dirty hippies and fear-mongering liberal media to manipulate us in to believing the sky is falling. Meanwhile, the homosexual agenda is advanced. Millions of fetuses are aborted. Women abandon their children for their jobs. Families crumble. So God punishes us. Earthquakes rock cities. Hurricanes drown us in our own filth. Too many of us worship the Earth, so God is using it against us. That is why it is imperative we repent. We should start by throwing environmentalists in jail for treason -- treason against the United States, treason against God. But jail for them should not simply be a cell. We should send them to work -- as lumberjacks, as coal miners. It will be the first honest days work they'll have done in their lives.

HELL

If you do not believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you do not accept Him as your savior, you will go to Hell. And Hell is not a fun place. It's a terrible, excruciating place. You will be beaten and cut and stabbed and burned; and eventually all your flesh will be stripped away until you are nothing but bones that Satan will then grind and grind until you are nothing but dust. You may think that your pain and suffering is over, but then Satan will give you your body back and start anew.