Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Traditional Christian Family Church Values

Hello There!!

The purpose of this letter is to introduce myself to all of you: I am the Reverend Dr. James "Jimmy" Dean Parnell, and I am the Founder, President, Chairman, CEO, Executive Vice President, and Executive Director of Traditional Fundamentalist Conservative Christian Family Affairs for the grassroots conservative Christian action group, "Traditional Christian Family Church Values Conservatives of America."

For the adults out there, please feel free to call me "Dr. Jimmy Dean Parnell" or "Dr. J.D. Parnell", but PLEASE!!!, ALWAYS include the title of "Dr." (or even better, "The Rev. Dr.") in front of my name!! For I speak for the Lord our God, and because all men are NOT equal in the eyes of the lord, I expect that when you address me, my Christian credentials are afforded the appropriate RESPECT!!!

Now as for you youngsters out there, I fully expect that you NOT include my Christian name when you address me!!! If we take a look back in time to the olden times - where our society was more simple and defined by traditional Christian family values, we realize children NEVER addressed their elders by their Christian name! Yes, I must say that those truly were times that we must strive for again, with the divine Providence of the Lord on our side!! Therefore, Young Children, Pay attention NOW!!!!: If you are in my presence, you will address me only by one of the following four titles: (1) "Sir", (2) Reverend, (3) Reverend Parnell, or (4) The Reverend, Dr. Parnell. Under no circumstances will you include my Christian name between my title and my last name!!! If you deviate from this protocol in my presence you will be severely corrected for your disrespect! If you are not in my presence and there is no willing adult to correct you, then surely God will see to it!

Well, I certainly think that was a very appropriate and thoughtful introduction, and I certainly hope that you fully agree with my accessment!!! I look forward to writing in the future about my conservative Christian action group, "Traditional Christian Family Church Values Conservatives of America" (TCFCVCA) - For it is through the divine providence of the Lord that TCFCVCA will bring our nation back to a time of traditional Christian family values and beliefs!!
Good day to all of you, and may God’s Blessings be upon all of God’s children!!!

The Reverend, Dr. James "Jimmy" Dean Parnell


Anonymous Lisa said...

What are you a doctor of? I don't remember doctor ever being a Christian credential. In fact it is a scientific credential and therefore related to science which Nathaniel would have us believe is evil in all forms. So by insisting that you be referred to by the title doctor you are asking people to associate you with the evils of science and therefore with sin. I do not see this as a wise move.

10:41 PM  
Anonymous Kia said...

Right on Sister *high fives.*

2:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr. Jimmy is full of himself, isn't he?

9:31 PM  
Blogger marvin z. martian said...

Can I call you Jimbo?

5:10 PM  
Anonymous Tim Simms said...

Marvin- That's the Rev. Dr. Jimbo to you!

2:00 PM  

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