The Muslims Finally Got Something Right

I was interested to read this about creationism in Turkey -- a country that is apparently more hostile to the idea of evolution than our own great country of America. I was very saddened by that statistic, if only because it is a slap in the face of all good Christians in this country that Turkey, a place of heathens and very garlic-y food, is more dedicated to the words of God than America. But take heart true Christians, the Turks will all burn in Hell when their time comes, regardless of their righteousness in the arena of creationism.

My real reason for this post, however, was to comment on one of the claims made by an author of a Turkish creationism book, specifically that Darwin is responsible for terrorism. At first, I thought this was simply raving from a heathen in denial of his place in Hell, since Muslims are responsible for terrorism. And while I still believe that Muslims are indeed the only real terrorists in the world, the author makes a point, This is because the West's love of Darwin and evolution has made us weak in the eyes of the Lord, thus making it possible that Islam is any threat to our nation. For this obsession with Darwin has distracted the powers that be of the holy righteousness of the Lord and absolute correctness of the Bible, such that they are unable to combat Muslim terrorists with the powers vested in Christians by God to combat the existence of such filth as Islam. If only our people and leaders would embrace the Old Testament and forget about the claims of a disgusting man such as Darwin, we could put Islam in its place such that whatever Muslim we did not keep in a cage or kill would be too terrified by the wrath of God to ever attempt to harm us. But no, instead our leaders are distracted by keeping evolution in schools and denying the truth of the Bible. This allows terrorism to flourish, and this is why Darwin is, like the Turkish guy said, really responsible for terrorism.

No Wonder They're Almost Extinct!

I just read this disturbing article about the methods being used to get pandas to reproduce. Yes, apparently they are showing pandas porn to teach them how to mate. This, I fear, does not bode well for the future of mankind, for the fact that pandas need such disgusting titillation in order to reproduce may, in fact, describe our own condition and why vast swathes of the world population is obsessed with pornography, such that it has infiltrated every facet of our lives. While one may never have guessed it given all the children that Hispanics, Africans and Muslims seem to spawn, what the world may be looking at is a failure of its obligation to God to raise as many children as possible in the words of Christ. That means we, like pandas, may be going extinct. Of course, it may be true that porn does increase our fornication and therefore the number of children the world will see born; however, such children will surely not be raised in the words of God, thus sewing the seeds of destruction upon mankind. Whether these children join the armies of Satan to wreak havoc on the world (just look at the Middle East and Africa, where children grow up heathen) or God simply sees fit to strike us down with coming of Armageddon, we are certainly doomed to a fate not unlike that of pandas. On a secondary note -- and this is just speculation on my part -- the fact that we are showing pandas pornography
may lead to a new kind of enemy that we Christian soldiers may have to fight: animals possessed by Satan. I say this simply because the using of evil technology to teach animals the joys of fornication will certainly have some sort of perverted effect upon their brain. Now, whether that effect is something akin to being possessed by the Devil such that we must beware pandas running around China like werewolves remains to be seen. This is especially true given that pandas are very lazy creatures and spend most of their days sitting around eating bamboo.

No Wonder They're Almost Extinct!

I just read this disturbing article about the methods being used to get pandas to reproduce. Yes, apparently they are showing pandas porn to teach them how to mate. This, I fear, does not bode well for the future of mankind, for the fact that pandas need such disgusting titillation in order to reproduce may, in fact, describe our own condition and why vast swathes of the world population is obsessed with pornography, such that it has infiltrated every facet of our lives. While one may never have guessed it given all the children that Hispanics, Africans and Muslims seem to spawn, what the world may be looking at is a failure of its obligation to God to raise as many children as possible in the words of Christ. That means we, like pandas, may be going extinct. Of course, it may be true that porn does increase our fornication and therefore the number of children the world will see born; however, such children will surely not be raised in the words of God, thus sewing the seeds of destruction upon mankind. Whether these children join the armies of Satan to wreak havoc on the world (just look at the Middle East and Africa, where children grow up heathen) or God simply sees fit to strike us down with coming of Armageddon, we are certainly doomed to a fate not unlike that of pandas. On a secondary note -- and this is just speculation on my part -- the fact that we are showing pandas pornography may lead to a new kind of enemy that we Christian soldiers may have to fight: animals possessed by Satan. I say this simply because the using of evil technology to teach animals the joys of fornication will certainly have some sort of perverted effect upon their brain. Now, whether that effect is something akin to being possessed by the Devil such that we must beware pandas running around China like werewolves remains to be seen. This is especially true given that pandas are very lazy creatures and spend most of their days sitting around eating bamboo.

The Dalai Lama Should Be Tortured

The Washington Post today has a very dangerous opinion section on religion. Writers include: the Dalai Lama and the ex-president of Iran, Mohammad Khatami. Such writers have voices that do not deserve to be heard and should be kept from the delicate ears of this glorious Christian nation. Now, one might wonder why the title of this post selects the heathen Dalai Lama to attack as opposed to the murderous ex-president of Iran. I mean, as a Muslim, there is certainly a special place in hell for the infidel Khatami, as he and his kind are responsible for 9/11 and spreading their religion of hate since invading Christian Spain in the 8th century. But that's the thing -- most Americans know not to trust the words of a Muslim, so anything he says in the pages of the Washington Post are sure to be ignored. The Dalai Lama, on the other hand, is revered by every dirty hippie, by every morally confused 20 or 30 something in America and his words carry great weight. And what is his message? Peace and happiness in the face of conflict. "Dialogue" and education and knowledge rather than righteous destruction of sin and filth. This is the message of the Devil, who happily tricks us into peaceful coexistence with his spawn as his evil spreads and spreads like cancer. Listening to the Dalai Lama is tantamount to a breast cancer-ridden woman undergoing aroma therapy and acupuncture rather than having her breast lopped off. It's disgusting, and if we continue down this stupid path we will see the cancer spread.

Science Can Be Good

I recently read this about a new medical procedure where wombs can be transplanted into infertile women. As we all know that it is a woman's duty to repent for original sin by giving birth, this is indeed good news. Unfortunately, many women will reject this new technology and continue to live meaningless lives, lives of sin; and while I recognize that, currently, we cannot force the infertile to have womb transplants, we could at least focus on those that we do have power over: a) prisoners and b) vegetables. I recognize that many that fall in to these two categories aren't necessarily infertile, but the beauty of this operation, I think, is that it can be used to install additional wombs into women, such that they could be impregnated multiple times at the same time. For prisoners -- i.e. sinners who must repent more than your average woman -- this would give them a chance to make amends with God. And as prisoners, they do not deserve any rights and should be forced to bear children into this world. The vegetative, on the other hand -- we would be doing them a favor by bringing them closer to God through childbirth at a time when they can do nothing. If they could speak and/or move, they would certainly approve.

Let our voices be heard this election day!

Tomorrow is election day, and I want to do everything in my power to ensure that the evangelical Christian vote is heard tomorrow at the polls! The Christian values voters must let their voices be heard! I pray that all conservative evangelicals show up to vote tomorrow, and I pray that all liberals stay home, and if they do not stay home, then I pray that they will be confronted and challenged at the polls by GOP poll watchers, who, I pray, will use the toughest tactics possible to prevent secular liberals from voting.

This poem was written to inspire all conservative evangelicals to vote and let their voices be heard!


We have come,
Good fellows of the Lord,
To a crossroads in our being.
We must understand,
What is truly at stake,
As soldiers of the Lord.

We will raise up our voices,
Into the night!
We will take a stand,
And we will fight!

Are we not the children of the Lord?
Or the dust of a future past?
We raise our voices in the night!
Crying to heaven!!
And will our voices be heard?
Or will they Break Like The Wind!

We are the footprints across the sands,
We are the thumb on a stranger's hand,
We made a promise in the night!
Crying to heaven!!
Is this a promise that we keep?
Or one we Break Like The Wind!

We will forever sing this endless song,
We send our hearts into the night!
Soaring to heaven!!
And will our voices be heard?
And will our hearts still beat on?
Or will they Break Like The Wind!
Break Like The Wind
Break Like The Wind.

Let us not go silently,
Into this good night!
We will take a stand,
In the final fight!

Beware, Beware, Beware the Overweight Wife

Yes, these last few weeks have been a trying time for we Christians -- our Party, the Party of God, is in danger of losing control of the government, leaving our glorious nation to be overrun by sin, and now this latest tragedy affecting the evangelical community has struck, as one of the community's leaders has been exposed as a filthy homosexual. As to the first issue, I only pray that the allegations of corruption are not true and that the light of God will shine upon the voters in the voting booth. I have my doubts as to what we've heard in the media, as it is controlled by the Devil.

Now, for the second issue, I recently read this, which shines some light on what may be the root of the problem:

"Most pastors I know do not have satisfying, free, sexual conversations and liberties with their wives. At the risk of being even more widely despised than I currently am, I will lean over the plate and take one for the team on this. It is not uncommon to meet pastors’ wives who really let themselves go; they sometimes feel that because their husband is a pastor, he is therefore trapped into fidelity, which gives them cause for laziness. A wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband in the ways that the Song of Songs is so frank about is not responsible for her husband’s sin, but she may not be helping him either."

The pastor that iresponsiblele for the above is quite correct, I think, in at least identifying a source of temptation for, not only pastors, but men in general: a wife'slothfulnessss. It's not just, as the pastor identifies, the wives of church elders that suffer from letting themselves go, sure that their husbands, obviously good Christians, will never stray. Most women with husbands suffer from this delusion. And I say delusion, for that is exactly what it is, as nearly all men -- except for the most truly pious -- can be tempted by the whispers of Satan when their wives become fat and disgusting. That is the weakness of men, which is why we can only and must strive to live in a righteous manner akin to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Yes, man, no matter how righteous, is still ridden with the faults of men; and, knowing this, it is the wife's duty to make herself attractive to her husband so that Satan cannot send his armies of whores and homos to tempt him. It is really a simply charge, although those women that refuse it are, like men, simply succumbing to their innermost faults, in this case laziness rather than sexual desire. That is why it is equally the duty of men to insure that their wives stay attractive and fit so they are attractive -- not repulsive -- when the time comes to make babies. Diets, training, and -- sometimes -coercionon for when the wife becomes especially insolent and stubborn -- all are useful tools in the fight against a woman's sloth. Men that neglect these aspects of marriage are certainly beckoning for the evil Satan to place roadblocks on the path to righteousness.