Sunday, October 08, 2006

Women For Jesus Make Babies

I found this article very disturbing, and it is yet another example of Catholic craziness. While dedication to Jesus is almost always a beautiful and worthy thing, a woman declaring her eternal virginity is misguided at best, for it is, of course, a woman's duty to bear a man many children who she can then raise in the way of the Lord. Certainly this consecrated virginity is a Satanic plot. Catholic priests, I think, are brainwashing women that would otherwise normally be true servants for the Lord. I can't imagine what Satanic rituals they must perform, but it would not surprise me if the priests preyed on especially ugly and fat -- and therefore lonely -- women. As is a proven fact, such women are susceptible to all sorts of temptation, which is why it is the duty of all good Christians to be especially protective of such women. We Christians should form support groups where we dedicate ourselves to finding the lonely women men who can rule over them in a manner appropriate to building a stable family and truly loving Jesus.

36 Comments:

Blogger Ryven said...

They're not satanic rituals, they're catholic rituals. :) Which are a bit more elaborate than most Christian rituals.

If dating isn't working for them, let them do something that gives them hope. Maybet his was what those women were meant for.

7:04 PM  
Anonymous Yarr! I am Grendel! said...

YAARRR!!
Arr! I am Grendel! I am Grendel! Yarr!! Ra ra ra I am GRENDEL!

Grendel is sad.
1)Catholics were pretty much the first Christians. You branched off from them.
2)Catholics require virginity of women when they are in the clergy. Otherwise they must obey the sexual drives of their husband.
3)Lust is a deadly sin. Why would a declaration of virginity be Satanic? GRENDEL!!
(P.S. Don't say that I'm evil because I go by Grendel, the first written copy of Beowulf was made by a Christian who decided to make Grendel a demon, when traditionally he's just some random foaming at the mouth beast. I just like the word 'Grendel')

Considering how much you say "love Jesus" Grendel could say you have sexual fantasies about Jesus. This would not be too different from how you take everyone else out of context.
By the way, you seem to complain about the stupidest stuff. Why don't you be a little more original and start going on about how there are people who have sexual fantasies about being eaten by penises? Ironically enough, at least to your standards, these people who deviate so strongly from Christian values infact have lives that are without punishment and turmoil and... dare Grendel say boring? GRENDEL SAY YARR!
Furthermore Catholic priests mostly have their eyes set on little church boys and or pretty women. Yeah, Grendel think that the Catholics have a few things nutty about what they believe (gotta love the sperm song from Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life), but they are not Satanics.
Let Grendel clarify a few things for you. Satanics live in bluish green houses with purple doors. Apiscapalians, which may or may not be Satanics but they are good enough for Grendel, like snakes. They act like snakes and in order to join them you must dodge the bite of a snake. They also say stupid stuff like "Flames of Fire!!" They also like to dress up like Lucifer (funny how Lucifer actually means life).

Grendel must take his revenge of Beowulf now, for I am GRENDEL!

12:17 AM  
Blogger Ryven said...

Holy random, Batman. O.o

1:12 AM  
Blogger Led Head said...

Um...Grendel...I think Lucifer actually means "Light Bearer," but I'm not sure.

At any rate, how dare you give away the fact that Satanists all live in bluish green houses with purple doors. Now everyone will know...

:p

Hmmm...I can't help thinking a life without nice, long romps in the hay would be a bit boring.

11:38 PM  
Blogger Led Head said...

P.S. And yes, I know I've been corrupted by Satan. Now ask me if I care.

12:08 AM  
Blogger Wrin said...

Wow, what the heck happened here? You all seem to be a little stir-crazy today, except for Ryven of course. Did you just realize you need to paint your houses a different color? Heehee..

1:51 PM  
Blogger Led Head said...

*snarls*

Master tells us we must paint! We *hates* painting! We *hates* it!!!

Myyyyy preciousssssss!

10:17 PM  
Anonymous Ewap said...

Nathaniel, two questions came up in the last post that are still unanswered and I was wondering if you could clear them up.

1) My question about everything big being evil. How do we know God doesn't have some plan we don't know about for animals you deemed as useless, such as giraffes?

2)Are you a Puritan? What is your opinion of the Puritan belief system?

9:07 PM  
Anonymous Ewap said...

Also Dr. Parnell, in your post "Freedom Isn't Free," you say that you are against anything that kills ANY human cells. Yet I was under the impression that you are in favor of the death penalty, which kills countless numbers of cells. Would you mind clarifying your position on this?

6:18 PM  
Anonymous Matthew said...

Honestly, when are you going to respect anyone's wishes other than your own?!

7:20 PM  
Anonymous Three Headed Grinch said...

Ewap-
Perhaps Parnell believes that humans only have one fiber?

11:20 PM  
Blogger Led Head said...

Evidently he doesn't eat enough fiber. He's so full of shit!

12:00 AM  
Blogger Ryven said...

Evidently he doesn't eat enough fiber. He's so full of shit!

*snorkchuckle*

Honestly, though, I was thinking about it. This is mildly related to the "purity balls" the the Fundies like to inflict on their daughters. Unlike the purity balls, however, nunnery is optional.

http://www.family.org/fofmag/pf/a0025000.cfm

Kind of unfortunate, actually. I understand the want to keep your daughters safe and all, but the decision really ought to be up to them, and they should be brought up to protect themselves, rather than relying on Daddy to do all of the decision making for them. But that's just me.

1:05 AM  
Blogger Led Head said...

Hmmm...I think it's time for some good old fashioned AC/Dc

BIG BALLS
(1976)

(Young, Young, Scott)

I'm ever upper class high society,
God's gift to ballroom notoriety,
I always fill my ballroom
(The event is never small)
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all

Oh I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all

And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No-one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
GREAT BALLS OF FIRE
Oh I've got big balls

Oh I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all

Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best.
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night
Oh I've got big balls

Oh I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all

And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...
Ball sucker

9:23 PM  
Blogger Ryven said...

That song is so overplayed where I live. They're like "OMG NAUGHTY NOVELTY *spams the song*" It was funny the first 10 times. But after that, it's just plain irritating.

I suppose it helps that I'm not much of an AC/DC fan.

Wow, things have gotten off topic here. O.O

5:50 AM  
Anonymous Ewap said...

In the same way that you are turned off by Nathaniel's practice of declaring that people who do x,y, or z are to spend an eternity in hell, I am sure he is equally turned off by such personal attacks from the commentors. The fact of the matter is we all continue to come to this blog for a reason, and no matter what that reason it would seem that none of us really have an interest in it disappearing. So please, some civility?

3:30 PM  
Blogger Led Head said...

Okay, I'll be nice. Unless they insult me first. Then they're fair game.

8:42 PM  
Blogger Led Head said...

Ryven, believe it or not, they haven't overplayed it here. It's one of the few AC/DC songs they haven't.

10:38 PM  
Blogger Ryven said...

Crazy O.o Maybe my radio station is just trying to be "edgy".

And I'll be nice when he's nice. Until we can get through a debate without being called a "devil worshipper" or something along the lines of a stupid woman, all bets are off.

3:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

However, if you attack him you simply confirm (in his mind) his views about you. Perhaps the highroad might lead to actual discussion. Although since it seems Nathaniel and Parnell have decided to stop posting...

5:55 PM  
Blogger Marionette said...

The comment tool is not for your conversations. Go to a forum or a chatroom for that. You're just vandalizing someone's work in a place that's supposed to be for critique. You're supposed to be talking to the author of the post, not to each other.

6:15 PM  
Blogger Nathaniel said...

Guys -- for those of you defending me from the baseless attacks of the Satanic, I do deeply appreciate it. but never fear -- my psyche is not so fragile as to wilt before the mere words of unbelievers. No, I've been inactive simply because this site has been infested by lonely heathens (like led head and ryven) that have long since stopped making any meaningful comments or commentary. But like i said, i do appreciate those of you that have come to my defense, and i realize that there are still some of you that are worth engaging. hopefully God chooses to once again bless me with some inspiration...

7:46 PM  
Blogger Led Head said...

Oh, so now Ryven and I are "lonely heathens," are we?

If you scroll up a bit, I believe you'll find that I said I'd be nice as long as you didn't insult me first. And so did Ryven, in so many words.

Congradulations. You just cast the first stone.

And I'm rarely, if ever, lonely!

9:12 PM  
Blogger Ryven said...

Let's see.... I posted first in this topic... nothing inflammatory... and suddenly I'm a lonely heathen. This is what I'm talking about. It doesn't matter what I say or how I say it, he always parrots the same things.

6:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Evidently he doesn't eat enough fiber. He's so full of shit!"
-Led Head

Ryven's response: *snortchuckle*

A good few days before his post calling you satanic.

6:29 PM  
Blogger Ryven said...

What, I'm not allowed to laugh at something mildly amusing, but he's allowed to call us "lonely heathens", often even before the debate gets heated? Sorry, no. If there's going to be any civility, it's going to come from both sides. And I'm not offering it until I see some from his side.

Besides, if you're going to take quotes from that post, you might as well post the rest of what I wrote, in which I said:

"Honestly, though, I was thinking about it. This is mildly related to the "purity balls" the the Fundies like to inflict on their daughters. Unlike the purity balls, however, nunnery is optional.

http://www.family.org/fofmag/pf/a0025000.cfm

Kind of unfortunate, actually. I understand the want to keep your daughters safe and all, but the decision really ought to be up to them, and they should be brought up to protect themselves, rather than relying on Daddy to do all of the decision making for them. But that's just me."

Constructive conversation.

7:11 PM  
Blogger Led Head said...

Also, Annonymous, have you read the rest of this blog? If so, you must have a good idea of some of the things Nathaniel advocates. Electric "punishment chairs" for children, making "vegitable farms" of brain-dead women," spousal abuse...and the list is endless. Most people aren't going to read things like that without reacting. And some of the things he's said have made people justifiably angry.

Besides, Ryven and I did say we'd be nice to him if he was nice to us. He comes in and calls us "lonely heathens" *after* that fact. What does that tell you.

10:10 PM  
Anonymous Snazzlepuff the Mischevilous said...

Erm...if the truth is to be told *twirls topknot* I think Nathaniel and Parnell need Led Head and Ryven to keep this blog going. He could always delete their comments, you know. He *is* webmaster here, after all.

10:24 PM  
Anonymous Snazzy Wazzy said...

BTW, Nathaniel, when do I get my Potterfic?

10:25 PM  
Anonymous Ewap said...

"i realize that there are still some of you that are worth engaging."

Then Nathaniel, if it is not presumptuous of me to assume that you consider me to be worth engaging, could you please answer my questions above. I am curious to hear what you have to say, and you had told me before that you were willing to clear up any confusion any of us have about your beliefs.

9:29 PM  
Blogger Nathaniel said...

ewap -- God does indeed have a plan for all things. it just so happens that big animals were put on earth to challenge humans and force them to band together for survival. now, however, that we are sufficiently bound to one another and have formed a great, God-fearing civilization in America (one that is now only threatened by Godless secularists and witchcraft and activist judges) big animals serve no purpose other than to take more than their fair share of earth's precious resources. this is not to say we should totally wipe them out, for some of them could still be used for zoos and punishment. for example, we could, rather than torture criminals, give them a choice: amputation (just an example of one of the tortures) or be put in a ring with a kodiak bear and given only a knife.

as for your second question, i'm honestly not quite sure what the Puritans actually believed. from what little i do know, they certainly seemed to be God-fearing and were very in tune with the threat of witchcraft. but i'm not prepared to say that i myself am a Puritan

1:23 PM  
Anonymous Ewap said...

The basic premise of the Puritan (or Calvinist) belief system is that everyone is predestined to go to either heaven or hell. Human choices have nothing to do with where you end up in the afterlife. Those who are destined to go to heaven are naturally drawn towards doing good deeds. While those who are destined to go to hell feel no desire to do good for the sake of doing good.

To me that doesn't exactly sound like your style but it may be, and since no one was answering marionette when she asked I figured I would too.

6:23 PM  
Blogger Marionette said...

Other notable Puritan beliefs:

-Bible is THE supreme authority on Earth.
-God is angry with all people, and so must spend their entire lives trying to appease Him. A sign that a person is going to heaven is if a person has a sort of near-death expierience, which shows a sign that God wants said person around to do his bidding.
-An emphasis on private study of the Bible
-A desire to see education and enlightenment for the masses (especially so they could read the Bible for themselves)
-The priesthood of all believers
Perception of the Pope as an Antichrist
-Simplicity in worship, the exclusion of vestments, images, candles, etc.
-Some approved of the church hierarchy, but others sought to reform the episcopal churches on the presbyterian model. Some separatist Puritans were presbyterian, but most were congregationalists.
-Physical punishment for all people of all ages.
-Execution and torture for those against the faith
-Humans are evil by nature, and must work for all eternity to overcome that
-Theocracy

8:38 PM  
Anonymous Ewap said...

Marionette seems to know a bit more about it than I do heh. Those bullets sound a lot like what Nathaniel has posted actually. I'm interested to see his response.

8:45 PM  
Blogger Nathaniel said...

ewap, marrionette -- i do actually agree with much of what the puritans beleived other than that humans are evil by nature. that is not true. i think of humans of being a lot like Schrodinger's cat, where the cat is neither dead nor alive until somebody looks at it. in our case, however, we are neither evil nor good until we've been tested by being given a choice to do evil or good. but we aren't all naturally good, either (although i suppose some may be more predisposed than others) so the whispers of Satan may be more impactful on some than others. and this is why secularism is inherently evil -- it provides for a system where the Devil is legally able to tempt us into sin.

1:17 PM  
Anonymous Minea said...

Catholics are Christians too. They love Jesus Christ as much as we Protestants do. The Bible says that having no husband, and offering one's (man and woman) virginity to Christ is better. But the bed is undefiled in marriage. Look it up. It's on both Catholic and Protestant New Testament.

3:40 AM  

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