Exercise Your Lungs By Smoking

Everybody needs to exercise once in awhile -- it does a body good. And that's exactly why smoking does not cause cancer. The devil would have you think that tobacco is cancerous. Just today they announced that cigarettes will be responsible for over 1 billion deaths in the 21st century. But that is hogwash, for tobacco, given to us by the all-providing and caring God, must be smoked; it is our duty. After all it was put here to help exercise our lungs and help us deal with the inevitable pollution that results from an expanding population. It will also protect against the poisons that will be brought down upon all good Christians by the antichrist during the endtimes. Knowing this, the Devil has used his minions controlling the liberal media and medical establishment to launch a campaign of disinformation. We should be promoting smoking of all forms (well almost all -- we should not smoke marijuana or crack or pcp or crystal meth). If cocaine is more potent smoked as crack, then certainly spinach and broccoli would be better served smoked. In fact, smoking could be the cure for obesity. Already it is a proven fact that people lose weight when they smoke and gain it back when they quit. This being the case, rather than eat massive amounts, people should be smoking their food, their chicken, steak, hamburgers and fries, polishing it off, perhaps, with a small dessert. Just imagine a world without sickness, disease, and fat people. The world would be so happy, most of them -- all of those but the most evil -- will turn to Christ in their joy. That is why we must work to overcome the mountains of scientific "evidence" against smoking that has overwhelmed even the most dedicated of Christians. Otherwise, the Devil will be even more effective in crushing the Christian resistance during Armageddon. This, in a great and tragic irony, will certainly result in at least as many deaths as supposedly caused by cigarette smoking.