Dancing is Evil

I want all of you to know here and now that I do not approve of dancing. In fact, I wholeheartedly disapprove of dancing. The problem of dancing, particularly among youth, has been something our society has had to cope with for many decades. However, I feel dancing is more problematic now than ever. The problem of dancing is not just going to go away. We can either try to ignore dancing, or we can try to deal with the problem by passing laws forbidding it. For those of you who do not feel that dancing is such a big problem, then allow me to reeducate you, and if you will not be reeducated, then, God willing, I will some day be in a position of imposing a mandatory reeducation of all of you who are too permissive of dancing. Dancing is a great sin and a very horrible vice because it degrades the common morality and degrades traditional Christian values, and it encourages our young people to have sex. It also directly encourages homosexuality. Dancing is also responsible for abortions, because I am quite certain that more dancers have abortions than non-dancers. Most troublesome is the fact that when communities allow dancing, the dances become like a horrible cancer that grows and multiplies, eventually overtaking the entire community. And eventually, if left unchecked by a harsh and wise and good community Christian reverend, the dancing will turn the entire town into a cesspool of obscene gyrations and sexual perversion. If you don't think that this happens, and you don't believe that dances have the potential to spread like cancer across our towns and communities, then I suggest that you watch the movie Footloose. I also suggest that you remember the year 1996, which was the Year of The Macarena. That year, The Year of The Macarena, was, in my great opinion, a cultural nadir for this country and, from the standpoint of values and morals, one of the lowest points in our nation's history. That was the year that Bill Clinton was reelected and that Madeline Albright, UN ambassador, and later Secretary of State, stood up in the United Nations and danced The Macarena. Also, that evil man, former VP Al Gore, also danced The Macarena. The Macarena was an evil dance that spread across our land and around the world overtaking entire nations. I remember those horrible times all too well. It was a shameful time even for me, because I remember driving my SUV down the road when I accidentally tuned the radio to a station playing The Macarena, and when the song played, I remember sitting there in the SUV and the beats and the rhythms of that evil devil music caused me to move and gyrate involuntarily in rhythm to the beat! Oh the shame!!! To this very day, I still beg the Lord for forgiveness for that indiscretion.

Now, I want to explain to you the social-cultural and secular forces that cause dancing to take over our communities. You see, when a new rock song or a new beat is inspired by the devil in the mind of some godless young person, that youngster will then play this music his friends and eventually market it to the whole community. The same thing happens with dancing. You see, when a new dance comes along, a few people will try it, like trying a drug, and that dance will then be tried by others, and it will eventually spread to youngsters all over the community because they think that it is "cool" or "radical" or "gnarly" or "Xtreme", as all of the so-called "Xtreme" teens out there would say. So, pretty soon, all of the youngsters are dancing in the streets, and in the homes and in the schools, and perhaps even in church! Picture it!!! Sex-crazed, drug-addled youngsters all hopped up on Pixy-Stix and MoonPies, committing acts of sin and vice, their sweating bodies pulsating and gyrating, and moving, and grooving to the devilish sounds of the latest beat!!! I call upon all of you to put an end to this insanity at once!