Friday, June 09, 2006

Assimilate or Else

President Bush recently said immigrants need to assimilate. This heroic speech reminded me of the heroes of Star Trek, also known as the Borg. I know the show built them up to be this evil empire, this alien race that sped around space, sucking up -- absorbing, assimilating -- all the universe's biodiversity and eradicating the freedom and differences of all its life forms, but the way I see it, they were really protecting Heaven from the unworthy. For as I'm sure I've mentioned before, there is no such thing as "space"; -no, what exists outside the Earth's "atmosphere" is surely Heaven. The Federation wasn't on this glorious mission of exploration, but instead was on a Satanic mission to invade Heaven. Not that many of the Federation's members believed in Heaven -- Picard, for example, was certainly one of these liberal "intellectuals" that explored space only to prove God does not exist. But what people such as he believed was of no matter to the Devil. And the Borg brought the wrath of God upon these sinners, doing God's work in protecting Heaven from intruders unworthy to even sniff the air of space/Heaven. At the same time they spread their message - certainly the message of the Bible -- and assimilated all those that crossed their path. I'm sure beneath the wires and cuts the "victims" of the Borg were in fact experiencing incredible joy given their newfound closeness to God.

Anyway, after hearing Bush speaking of assimilating illegal aliens into our culture, I was reminded of the Borg and it gave me hope that if perhaps we true Christians could properly organize ourselves we could be to the sinners of this country what the Borg were to the Federation. In fact, we should model ourselves after the Borg, drilling holes in and connecting powerful computer chips to all the world's people. I'm not sure what exactly these things did to the "victims" of the Borg, but in the real world they would certainly program people with wholesome Christian values and the teachings of the Bible. I'm sure the first generation of such technology won't be nearly advanced enough to accomplish such an enormous gift to God; however, it shouldn't be too hard to equip our first computer chips, to program our first version of software to administer shocks and various other types of pain to those that sin and to monitor the general population. Given all that we know about the brain and all the money big pharmaceutical companies have invested in developing mind-altering drugs, it should be equally possible to disable certain pleasure centers and things of that nature in people's minds. I know there will be those of you that doubt me, even among my Christian brothers. But thousands of years ago I'm sure people looked up at the night sky and dreamed of one day landing on the moon, and, apparently, we've accomplished that. Why not assimilation?


Blogger Ryven said...

You're just bitter because Picard was the better Star Trek captain. :)

All kidding aside, did you even watch Star Trek? The Borg wasn't some "sword of Heaven" or whatever sillyness you were saying. They attacked and killed innocent people. They wanted to merely absorb everyone into their collective consciousness for their information, because their queen had it in her head that without emotions and individuality, living beings were "perfected". It was basically a metaphor telling us that our individuality is what makes us human.

The Borg didn't care about individuals. The Borg didn't care about the wellbeing of others. All it cared about was making it's collective bigger and collecting information. And the Borg Queen had serious delusions of gradiuer.

2:23 AM  
Blogger Ryven said...


I mean, geez, the Borg thought all aspects of humanity and individual sentience were imperfect, which is why they were assimilating all humanoids in the first place. The Borg were all controlled by an egomaniac bionic queen thing who was bent on destroying all sentient beings in the universe to further "her" image of "perfection". That's hardly a religious thing. Besides, it couldn't be a religious thing, because religion is one of those sentient humanoid things the Borg sought to destroy.

Please, stop making an ass out of yourself. No one is taking you seriously if you keep saying things like this.

2:30 AM  
Blogger Nathaniel said...

ryven -- that's what the Devil wants you to beleive. but really they defended Heaven from intruders. while it may seem horrible that people were killed and/or their "individuality" stripped away, people who dare travel into the realm of Heaven are pretty much beyond the point where they will truly come to God on their own. So the Borg need to assimilate them. And that's what we hear in the real world need to do to our sinners. that's all i'm saying.

and i've given up on those wearing Devil blindfolds ever taking me seriously

10:05 AM  
Blogger Ryven said...

No, in Star Trek, they travel through space. Whether or not in real life space exists is a non-issue, because it's SCIENCE FICTION. Fiction. What is it? Fiction. Not fact. Fiction. Not real. It's a person's story, and if in a man's story space is real, and good people fly through it and explore it, all the while be chased through it by evil assimilating robot people, then that's what it is. Ask any of the writers.

Me: "What did you write Star Trek about?"

Writer: "People travelling through space overcoming adversity."

That's the way the person wrote it. I'm pretty damn sure that in the time I've been a Star Trek fan, I would have heard about Star Trek being one big Biblical-Anti-Exploration-Space-Is-A-Hoax-Allegory.

It's not something completely different because you don't like the lack of Bible in it. Not everything has to be turned into some sort of twisted Bible-Metaphor-Fanfiction.

1:24 PM  
Blogger Led Head said...

Nathaniel, I don't remember which episode this was, but in the original Star Trek series, Lieutenant Uhura distinctly mentioned "The Son of God." And Picard never mentioned his religious beliefs in the series, if I remember correctly, so he may very well have been a Christian. So before you go off on these goofy tirades about some fictional characters being on "Satanic missions to invade Heaven," do your research. And try to say something that makes a little sense. Then people might start paying attention to you.

And why have you made an avatar of Commander Data kissing the Borg Queen?

2:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also, did you not realize the borg were led by a woman who had sex with a robot? Did you completely miss that about the movie? Were you too busy masturbating on your bible?

9:22 AM  
Blogger Led Head said...

And Nathaniel's new avatar is of Commander Data kissing the Borg woman, in case you didn't notice.

Hmmm...wonder what this could mean!

5:35 PM  
Anonymous Matt said...

If I may ask, how in the name of our good Lord did you come to the conclusion that there is no space? If you read my response to Science is Evil, you will notice that I pointed out that science isn't evil. It's proven that space is real. The media wouldn't lie to us like that at all. We've been to space several times, so why would you doubt a proven fact? Just because there's space, it doesn't mean God doesn't exist. God created space. I don't know why he did, but he did create space. I want to know why you believe space doesn't exist. It's not a Liberal lie, it's something Liberals and Conservatives believe in.

2:01 PM  

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