Even Africa Knows: Witches DO Exist!

It's a sad day when Africa is at the forefront of anything worthy. In this case it's detecting and eradicating witchcraft. Christianity, apparently, is strong there, for various Christian sects seem to have cast away temptation from the Devil and taken it upon themselves to combat the witch children that infest their villages. I've preached about the scourge of witcher-y, and many have listened, but not nearly enough. America is in denial. Europe... well, Europe has been overcome, overridden by Satan.

Now I know some will take issue with Africa's response to the problem of witchcraft -- after all they are beating and maiming children. Even I was slightly taken aback; for while I am a wholehearted supporter of whipping children and torture of criminals, the idea of seriously harming a child didn't sit well with me. But then I realized: these aren't children! They are witches. For all we know, they are a thousand years old, disguising themselves as children as they spread the filth of the Devil. The Africans are merely being vigilant, being strong in the face of evil, refusing to let the message of the devil tempt them into letting witchcraft, letting sin pollute their families, their communities. We should be proud.

While I am disappointed in America's response to its own witchcraft infestation, I feel as though I do need to give a shout out to Missouri. For it's a school district in Missouri that had the good sense to ban the school performance of the Crucible (and Grease) -- perhaps the thing most responsible for putting the denial of witchcraft in America's conscience. Because of that play, millions of high school students grow up believing witches don't exist, that Christians are fanatics prone to hysteria. In fact, it was the Crucible that made me grow up wishing I had a time machine to travel back and time and show the people of today that witches do exist. It's so easy for historians -- another one of the Devil's playthings -- to condemn the Salem witchcraft trials, but had they lived during the time, perhaps they would have experienced their wrath and thought differently. Had the brave people NOT burned the witches alive, we'd probably be living in an entirely different America, if we were living at all, if our forefathers weren't burning in the flames of Hell brought forth by the witches of Salem. God, just talking about it makes me understand the suffering Muslims must go through when their prophet is insulted in the Western media.