Jesus Hates the Holidays, But He Loves Christmas

Oh, my Christian soldiers, this is a good week for me, for it marks the beginning of the CHRISTMAS season, and I love Christmas. I emphasize Christmas, because this very well could be the last year we Christians are allowed to say the word in the public sphere. Using the word "Christmas," saying things like "Merry Christmas" will be tantamount to calling an African American the N word. There is, you see, a war brewing, a war against, not only the Christian principles that this nation was founded upon, but all the things that bring Christians joy. Schools won't allow children to sing Christmas carols or wish one another a merry Christmas. There can be no tree, no sign of Santa Clause. All that can be offered are "Holiday" displays stripped of any sign of Jesus or God. At the same time, the nation's stores are also abandoning our Lord, Jesus Christ, and refusing to put up Christmas displays. They, too, are opting to promote a generic Holiday season. Even Wal-Mart, a company I once thought could have become the Jesus Loves Everything Superstore that would survive the coming of the Antichrist and allow Christians to trade without the mark of the beast, is refusing to accept Christmas. This is the same company that had been doing God's work, crushing the Satanic, communist unions that dare suggest measly, un-educated store employees were not getting affordable healthcare or a living wage. I now ask stores such as Wal-Mart: what makes it a holiday, when it is stripped of any meaning? I'll tell you what it is: it's a holdiay for their bank accounts and stock prices. They are more than willing to use us for their profits without acknowledging the faith that will be driving them. That is why I support the growing calls to boycott all stores that refuse to recognize Christmas and its supremacy over all other holidays.

Some may wonder: what's the big deal about Christmas? Why would anyone -- Jew, Muslim, or other heathen religion -- care about a word? What are they afraid of? The answer is this: Christmas is a very powerful holiday, capable of guiding unfaithful to the glorious light of Jesus Christ. When an atheist or spirit worshiper receives a gift, it satisfies the greed and want for material things that is inherent to us all, and with the power of the words "Merry Christmas," opens up their heart to Jesus. Just as the gift of heaven and the fear of hell drives us in our worship of our Lord and Savior, so too does a gift of shoes, of the new XBOX, of an IPOD open our minds to the glory of God. So the Devil commands his followers to fight Christmas and spread and embrace holidays like Halloween and Kawanza, holidays that are certain to lead to damnation, into the Devil's painful and eternal embrace.